Not quite sure About friends anymore
The story
I honestly have no idea how I ended up here but I genuinely feel so alone and I have absolutely no one to listen and Im curious if anyone else feels this way or have some tips
I'm soon 18 (female)
I've noticed that I don't actually have any friends at all and I can't seem to be able to make any.
I restarted highschool again due to me failing my first year of highschool and took a year off to try to get my mental health a little better and I feel so embarrassed that I can't make a single friend at school
I understand that it's very difficult to get to know me because I'm extremely quiet and I'm too anxious to start a chat with anyone unless they speak to me first. I kind of feel like maybe it's just because of me being a girl or because I have Asperger
(im going construction because I aim to become a Plumber)
I thought I was fine till it really started to bother me a lot. Ive lost a lot for friends lately and the two connections I have left that ive known for 5+ years and been close to we have fallen out over the last year due to my mental health yet ive always tried to keep in contact.
but the thing that bothers me the most is that I always do my best to be a good friend to the ones I hold close
Ive showed up for them in their ups and downs and been there for them every single time they had it hard and I've been more genuine and caring to them then most of their friends and I've been there for almost all off their struggles and given them all the energy I've ever had yet it's still never enough and I'm always left alone no matter how much I try to be a good friend for others nobody ever gives me the same effort back or can even be bothered to ask me for once how I'm doing or texting me first for once
And what hurts me the most is that they would replace me with people who don't care about them as much and don't know them as well and won't show up for them at all yet they run to me and talk about their drama and problems
I feel like a filler friend untill their favourite comes around and I'm thrown away like garbage like I didn't mean anything to them on the first place
am I doomed to always give and never get anything back ?
Im so confused on what to do and I feel so alone in everything
I do my best to be the best version of myself for the ones I care about yet no one can ever even be bothered with ever giving me a small amount of effort back . I don't understand what I'm doing so wrong and I feel so selfish for just wanting friends who actually want to be there for me just the way I do for them
I've tried so hard to make new friends but it's like nobody wants to give me a shot at all I know I feel like I can be a great friend but why won't people accept me ? they always say I'm to nice or to sweet
(I'm not painting myself out to be a great person
I'm going off what others say about me)
i just dont understand what I'm doing so wrong
Am I in the wrong for feeling the way i do ?
is it normal for me to feel the way i do
Stories in the same category
Points of view
hey dear friend; reaching out and sharing your story takes a lot of courage, so hats off to you for that!
you're putting in so much effort trying to be there for others, and it's totally understandable to want the same kindness in return. sometimes people just don’t see what’s right in front of them or appreciate the rock-solid support someone like you offers; it's definitely not selfish to seek meaningful friendships... true reciprocity is essential. you're already making big steps towards being more open by sharing here, and maybe starting with small interactions could help ease into bigger conversations? remember, even if connections seem tough now, college and work environments will present new opportunities where people may truly value your kindness 💪🤗
wow, man... sounds a bit like you're chasing people who don't deserve your kindness??!! giving it all and getting zip in return ain't fair. maybe try focusing on yourself and plumb(ing) your own interests; sometimes being "too nice" can be a red flag to users who'll just take advantage 💔♂️. might be time to evaluate who's worth your effort 'n energy instead of being stuck in the same loop????
it seems like you're in a tough spot, and it's understandable how disheartening it must be when effort isn't reciprocated... but have you considered that people's perceptions of your kindness might stem from their own insecurities???? sometimes, individuals may unintentionally distance themselves because they're intimidated by the genuine support you provide; it's not a reflection on you or your efforts. have you explored any hobbies or interest groups at school related to construction? these could foster connections with like-minded people who appreciate what you bring to the table ☺️.
girlie as one of the kids that bounce around, to find your crew, find people that are similar to you. it makes complete sense since you have asperger. i have no social disorders, but i understand what you mean. love you girl, i always think back on stories i think abt
It's tough to hear how you're feeling, and it sounds like you're genuinely putting in a lot of effort with your friends; I think it's crucial not to blame yourself entirely for the way things are going.
it's not uncommon to feel isolated when you're navigating high school again, especially with the added challenge of trying to manage your mental health and the social dynamics that come along with it; perhaps shifting focus from what you can give others to recognizing what you need yourself could lead to more balanced relationships over time and help cultivate friendships based on mutual support rather than obligation.
Navigating relationships can feel incredibly isolating, especially when it seems your efforts aren't reciprocated, but it's crucial to remember that feeling disconnected doesn't mean you're destined for solitude; often, the delicate balance of give and take in friendships is skewed by an underlying asymmetry in empathy or appreciation for different social dynamics!
feeling alone is really tough, especially when you've been there for others but don't get the same energy back!!! it can feel like you're stuck in a one-way friendship; you're definitely not alone in feeling this way, and it sounds like you're doing your best to find where you fit in!
It's a tough reality when you give your all to friendships and don't get the same in return, but maybe it's time to consider setting some boundaries..; being too generous can unfortunately attract people who might take advantage without even realizing it and focusing on self-care sometimes sets the stage for healthier connections!
sounds like you're investing a lot of emotional capital without seeing a return: like trading in a market with no dividends; have you considered setting firmer boundaries or even diversifying your social portfolio by engaging in new circles where reciprocity is key?
feeling alone and unreciprocated in friendships really sucks, but maybe it's worth reconsidering what you truly need from these connections and seeking out folks who genuinely align with your vibes; sometimes focusing on personal growth can naturally attract the right people into your life.
being unable to foster reciprocal relationships might not solely be an issue with you but more with people's inability to appreciate genuine effort and kindness; maybe focusing on developing interpersonal skills or seeking environments where mutual respect is prioritized will offer better outcomes.
It sounds like you're in a really challenging place, trying to balance your mental health with the struggle of finding meaningful connections. Sometimes it's not about changing who you are but rather seeking environments where you feel understood and supported. Your interest in becoming a plumber is wonderful, as trades often foster strong, supportive communities that value collaboration and hard work; perhaps engaging more deeply there could lead to connections with people who share similar passions and values.