parents...
The story
why when you're talking to your parents and you're trying to vent to them or something and they start giving you unwanted advice and then you want to cry because they're not taking you serious and what you're saying and then you're about to cry and they ask oh are you about to cry and they start mocking you about it and then they make a face try to show that you're going to cry or something and then when you actually start doing it they're just like oh there's nothing to cry about like why do you do that like you're my parent you're supposed to hug me and call me if you think I'm going to cry you're not supposed to just sit there and laugh at me or make a face about it because I don't want you to give me this advice I'm just telling you how I feel when you do a certain something I'm not telling you to tell me how I should feel when something happens or how I should deal with something I'm just telling you how I feel what I'm going to do I'm not asking for this advice I'm just telling you what's happening and how I feel I'm not telling you to give me this advice because I already know what I'm going to do about half the time you're the reason I do because you made me go up so fast because if I don't grow fast enough then I'm a problem because I need to keep my room cleaning you this and you watch a little sister you need to wash the dishes you need to watch all the siblings and make sure that they don't do anything and then all this stuff so yes I know what I'm going to do because I'm not I'm a child but I'm not a 7 year old who's asking for advice I am a teenager who knows already what they're going to do and then on top of that I'm just doing so many things so I don't have a moment to breathe and so when I finally telling you how I feel I'm not telling you to make fun of me when I'm about to start crying because I'm finally letting all my emotions I'm not telling you to put a finger next to your eye to make the tears that are about to fall for my eyes I am telling you how am I feeling hug me say it's going to get better don't tell me this advice that's not even about the situation because you never been in this situation before because I'm different from my parents and they didn't grow up in the situation that I am and I am a very very well off child and I will never say that I'm not grateful for my parents do for me because I am beyond grateful they do everything that I ask and it they just don't have it right now they'll tell me and then they will come up with the plans trying to make it happen for me so I am so beyond grateful for that and I will never say that I love but there is a certain moments where they are just so unbearably unsufferable because I'm not allowed to express my feelings half the time because when I do finally try to express my feelings so it is not it's not that serious or something like please you need to understand but that's it because parents are going to keep doing what they do and no matter how many times I tried to tell them it's never going to stop . (this was typed using voice text so if that if it doesn't make sense that's why my bad too anyone reading this)
sincerely,
Melody (13 f)
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Points of view
man, that sounds rough. it can be super frustrating when parents just don't get it. sometimes they just don’t know how to react and end up making things worse even if they mean well. i've found writing stuff down helps me organize my thoughts before talking to them, or try speaking with a counselor at school for a different perspective. hang in there, melody! things might not change overnight but keep expressing yourself, it’s important 💪
Hey Melody, sounds like you're stuck in a "parenting paradox"! It’s wild how they can be both supportive and dismissive at the same time. Sometimes adults just don't realize they're doing more harm, hiding their awkwardness behind jokes; I once had to pull my mom aside and straight-up tell her that too much advice feels like I'm drowning in a sea of “shoulds.” Maybe sneak in some "How to Listen" podcasts for them? Hang tight, it’ll get better.
yeah... it's like parents have a built-in advice machine that just turns on whenever you start sharing. I remember once trying to talk to my dad about something that upset me and he just started giving solutions when all I needed was a bit of comfort. Maybe try talking to them at a time when things are calm, letting them know how their reaction makes you feel? It might be awkward at first but could help them see your side. Keep being open about your feelings; it's super brave and important!
man, that's tough... parents can be so clueless sometimes!!! it's like they forget what it was like being young. 😤 you're right, sometimes we just need someone to listen, not lecture!!! hopefully, they'll eventually get the hint and be more supportive without the unwanted advice. keep your head up! ✊
hey melody, sorry to hear you're dealing with that. it's like there's this generational gap where parents think they're helping by fixing things instead of just listening. my dad used to be the same way; he'd always jump in with advice when all I wanted was someone to validate what I was feeling. one thing that helped me was framing conversations around needing "a listening ear" beforehand, kind of sets the tone. maybe find small moments or activities you both enjoy and let your emotions spill naturally during those times?!
parents can be so maddening sometimes, acting as if they've cornered the market on wisdom when we’re just trying to get a word in! 😤 I remember one day I just blurted out my frustration and it caught them off guard, but at least they stopped with the unasked lectures for a bit. Maybe hit them with the "I just need you to listen" right from the start next time - it might slow down their advice before it starts flowing like a waterfall. Just remember, even though they seem insufferable now, there's always hope they'll learn to tune in better over time.
ugh, that's a tough situation to be in, Melody. it's like parents sometimes forget what it’s like not to have all the answers and just need someone to get where we’re coming from; maybe they think they're helping by dishing out advice, but you're right: they should focus on being a safety net instead. honestly, showing them how their reactions affect you might be eye-opening for them; could try writing a letter or email if talking face-to-face feels too intense? remember, you're strong for speaking up about your feelings: even if they don't get it right now!!
ugh, i get where you're coming from... but honestly, it might be time to face the music; parents just do what they do 'cause that's all they know. 🙄 you've gotta understand that they're programmed with a different OS, one that's not always compatible with ours!