Am I asexual?
The story
So, here I am, sitting in my messy room, trying to figure out if I’m just some person who’s a little slow on the uptake when it comes to feelings or if I’m actually asexual. To be honest, I really don’t know. I mean, I’m 17, and all my friends are out there exploring their “sexual awakenings” or whatever they call it, but for me, it’s like a big ol’ void. Like, I don’t even know what I’m missing. I get that everyone’s on this wild ride of hormones and romantic entanglements, and there’s me, standing on the sidelines like I’m stuck at a video game level that won’t load. My friends casually toss around terms like “crush” and “hookup” while I'm over here thinking, “why bother?” It’s like I’m reading a manual in a different language that nobody thought to translate for me.
The other day, my buddy was all hyped up about this girl he liked, and he was telling me what he thought would happen. He kept dropping lines about “chemistry” and “sparks,” and I just couldn’t relate. Every time I hear someone say, “you’ll know when it happens,” I roll my eyes so hard I’m surprised I don’t see my brain. I mean, what does that even mean? Do I need to sacrifice a goat or something to get this so-called “spark”? I’ve tried to be interested; I’ve flicked through dating apps, swiped here and there, and honestly, it feels like a chore. Like, I’m trying to watch a movie that everyone claims is a masterpiece, but I’m just sitting there wondering when the good part starts. My mind wanders to the definition of asexuality, and I catch myself thinking that maybe I fit that description. But then I wonder—am I just overthinking, or is it real? Am I just taking a little longer to get to the party?
I’ve read enough articles, seen plenty of videos to know that asexuality isn’t just “being picky” or something you grow out of when you hit puberty; it's a legitimate orientation. But it gnaws at me. Am I really asexual or just a late bloomer who’s scared of rejection? I mean, every time the topic of sex comes up, my brain goes into this autopilot mode where I’m nodding along, but inside I’m just screaming, “This isn't for me!” It feels like I’m meant to be a part of this club, but they won’t let me through the door, and I’m honestly starting to think I might not even want to go in. Maybe that’s the crux of it—this nagging feeling that says, “why do I have to be labeled at all?” So, dear reader, I turn this back to you: Am I asexual, just confused, or frankly, who cares? Do you ever feel this disconnect, or is it just me spiraling down this rabbit hole?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
I think it’s totally normal to feel the way you do; not everyone experiences sexual attraction in the same way, and it doesn’t make you any less valid. Society often pushes this narrative of “everyone needs to find someone”; but it’s important to remember that there’s nothing wrong with taking your time or realizing you identify as asexual. The phrase “you’ll know when it happens” is just as useful as a chocolate teapot; people throw it around like it explains everything but really, it doesn’t explain anything. Don’t stress about “missing out” on what others are doing—your journey is your own, and that’s perfectly okay! Identifying as asexual or questioning your orientation isn’t some sort of malfunction; it’s just another way of being. 🤷♂️ Maybe it is all about realizing you don’t need a label if you don’t want one, and that can be quite liberating. But hey, am I right or am I right?! Do what feels best for you, and don't sweat the labels too much.
it's understandable to question your feelings and orientation, but it sounds like you're jumping to conclusions a bit prematurely. just because you're 17 and not experiencing the same "sparks" as your friends doesn't automatically categorize you as asexual. adolescent development can be vastly different for each individual, and sometimes your thoughts might cloud your judgment. is it possible that you're overanalyzing the situation, instead of allowing your feelings to develop organically? 🤔 many people don't encounter that magical feeling until later on, or your focus might just be elsewhere right now. also, considering your perspective, it can come off a bit dismissive towards how others experience attraction; not connecting doesn’t make it any less existent or real for others. maybe the need for a label is obscuring a more authentic understanding of yourself, don't you think?
man, I totally get where you're coming from; it's like everyone's on this wild ride and you're just stuck in neutral. ✋ not everyone gets hit with those feelings at the same time, if at all. I remember being 17 and feeling like the odd one out because I just couldn't relate to all the drama around "chemistry" and "sparks". 🤷♀️ it's like everyone was speaking a language I wasn’t fluent in. the whole "you'll know when it happens" line? total BS if you ask me. makes you feel like you're missing some magic signal or something. I've spent way too much time thinking about it too, and honestly, I've just come to the conclusion that it's okay not to have it all figured out. staying true to yourself is more important than fitting into someone else's idea of normal. you do you, and don't stress over trying to fit into these boxes everyone else seems so obsessed with;
honestly, it sounds like you're making this more complicated than it needs to be. not everyone gets hit with these "sparks" at the same time, and that's perfectly fine. maybe you're just overthinking it? i remember when i was in your shoes, feeling like i was stuck in a loop while everyone else was moving forward. guess what? once i stopped stressing about fitting into the whole "sexual awakening" scene, things fell into place. nobody's got it all figured out at 17! perhaps instead of focusing on what you're missing, you should embrace where you are. live your life without worrying about fitting into someone else's mold. you'll find your own path, and it’s okay if it looks different from everyone else's. life isn't a conveyor belt after all!!! what do you think? ever consider that you might just be staring at the wrong map? 👀
i feel you, and your story really hits home for me. it's like you're stuck in a place where everyone else seems to have the map, and you're left flipping through blank pages. honestly, when i was your age, i went through the same kind of confusion, feeling like i was on the outside looking in while everyone else was in the middle of some amazing adventure. 😕 it's kind of frustrating when people say "you'll know when it happens" because it's totally not helpful. emotions and attractions don't work on a schedule, and it feels like there's this unnecessary pressure to fit into a timeline that doesn't make sense. 🤔 it's totally reasonable to question whether you're just a late bloomer or if there's another explanation, like asexuality. still, it might be worth considering if overthinking it is causing more stress than clarity. no rush in figuring it all out immediately; sometimes it's just okay to let things be and see where your feelings take you. perhaps it's more about finding peace with where you are, rather than fitting someone else's narrative.
maybe chill a bit?! not everyone gets those feelings the same way or in the same time. when i was your age, i thought maybe i was missing something too, but it turned out that i just needed time. it's cool that you're thinking deeply about it, but do you think maybe you're making it bigger than it needs to be? i mean, what's the rush, right? figuring out if you're asexual or just taking it slow isn't something you gotta decide right now. there's no rule book saying you have to feel a certain way by a certain age. everyone's journey is different, and that's okay.