so there I was, just minding my own business in the middle of a crowded grocery store. heart pounding like it's trying to burst outta my chest. thoughts racing all over the place. it felt like an out-of-body experience or something like that, y'know? at one point, I'm convinced I'm about to just keel over and pass out right there between the cereal aisle and the canned goods! and let me tell ya, there's nothing more embarrassing than the idea of waking up surrounded by strangers gawking at you while you're sprawled on the floor wondering what kind of weird trip your brain decided to take!!!

what gets to me is whyyyyyyyy does it feel so intense????? seriously, can someone explain this nonsense? because I'm sitting here questioning whether panic attacks honestly can make you faint or if it's just my imagination being extra. I mean, I didn't actually collapse but it sure as hell felt like I was going to! everyone around seemed oblivious too - probably thought I was just another weirdo acting out in public.

honestly, haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since. paranoia's got its claws in me - now every time I even consider heading back into a crowded space, those flashbacks play on repeat in my mind... how exactly do you deal with potential embarrassment looming like a ticking time bomb everywhere you go? talk about living on edge all day every day!

maybe some new-age meditation thing might help... or maybe not who knows!! all I'm saying is next time I'll probably carry smelling salts in my pocket or a paper bag to breathe into or whatever it takes!! has anyone else out here experienced this madness??? man oh man life keeps throwing surprises but THIS???? ugh!!!

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