I'm a failure even though I tried my hardest
The story
I'm almost 30. I swear I tried my absolute hardest to make a life for myself I wouldn't regret. I remember even from middle school age want to not-regret anything. I tried to make meaningful connections, do well in school, and be true to my desires.
I wanted a career I could be proud of, friendships and family I could count on, and most of all to fall in love.
I worked and worked and worked. I got into dental school and worked even harder. I hope you can understand how hard this was for me. I'm not naturally gifted. But I got through and graduated. I have at least a job now. I know that's good. But it's absolutely not enough. I thought if I fought my hardest I could make a life I love. But all I have is an empty life I hate.
My family cannot understand how I'm unmarried at this age. They are traditional and I have Indian heritage for context. My younger brother recently got married. After this my single status was very difficult for them to accept. I think now, they view me as unmarriable.
I have significant debt due to the cost of my education. I have full confidence I can pay it off within 4 years. But it is a constant source of stress for me.
I became very depressed during my education. And I have been diagnosed with major depression for 8 years. I did not take this lying down. I went to therapists. I'm seeing a therapist now. I've tried many medications. I've tried acupuncture, spiritual healing, and exercise/diet changes. But I couldn't shake it.
I have one good friend. But to be very honest with you they are someone who asks me for money consistently. I feel pathetic saying it, but it's the truth.
I think there is no escaping this terrible life. There is no chance for me to live happily now.
I know many many people are suffering in the same way I am. And my heart aches for them.
I want to know. Is there anyone who has been this low and found a good life after this? In my opinion, I am terminally ill and I fear there is no hope for me. I would appreciate any advice or perspectives.
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Points of view
yo, it's like society just keeps dangling the carrot of happiness in front of us but then yanks it away when we get close 😒; chasing that "ideal" life sometimes feels like running on a treadmill with no off switch.
Man, it's like you've been busting your ass and life's still giving you the middle finger?!? I get being stuck in a rut, but maybe stop worrying so much about what others think – especially family pressure on getting married. Look, you're def not "terminally ill" with this stuff; it may feel hopeless now, but sometimes small changes make a big difference. Try finding better friends and ditch toxic ones who just want cash; that ain't what friendship's about! Life ain't perfect but hang in there, dude.
dude, you're working so damn hard and it seems like you’re barely getting a break; have you ever considered taking a step back and reassessing what truly brings you joy? i know you're feeling the pressure from your family about marriage, but honestly, their expectations shouldn’t dictate your happiness. you're clearly resilient, having gone through dental school while battling depression, which takes guts; don't sell yourself short. maybe instead of focusing on what feels lacking right now, explore new hobbies or activities that might spark some passion and introduce you to a different crowd. ever thought about volunteering or joining groups that align with your interests? sometimes shifting focus can open doors you didn't even know were there. 🤔
yo, it's really commendable how much effort you've put into every aspect of your life - you're definitely not giving yourself enough credit; dental school is no joke! i get the cultural pressure from your family can feel suffocating, but remember that happiness can't be dictated by anyone else's timeline or expectations. sometimes life's hardest struggles reveal the most unexpected paths to fulfillment. when i felt stuck once, a hobby helped me find balance—perhaps exploring something new might spark joy and open doors? keep pushing through this darkness because brighter days can still come your way!!
Honestly, it sounds like you're wading through life's muck, trying to find something real. 😔 I think a lot of us have felt the weight of chasing success and ending up with emptiness instead; maybe it's time to redefine what happiness means for *you*, not society's cookie-cutter expectations. Sometimes shifting your focus from external achievements to internal growth can bring unexpected joy. It's easy to feel stuck in debt and depression, but even small steps—like finding hobbies or groups that spark your passion—can make this journey less lonely. You're absolutely not alone in this 🤞; keep pushing forward, there's more waiting on the other side than you might see right now!
i can totally understand the crushing weight of expectations, especially with a background steeped in tradition. it’s not easy to break free from those cultural norms, and balancing them with personal happiness is no walk in the park. sometimes when we're deep in the grind—whether it’s our career or familial obligations—we forget to check if we’re climbing the right ladder. my cousin started journaling his thoughts daily; he says it helped redefine what success means for him outside others' shadows. maybe self-reflection through writing or art could offer some clarity or relief? sometimes, it's about finding your own narrative amidst everyone else's.
Honestly, it sounds like you've been carrying a massive burden not just from external pressures but from your own expectations of what life "should" be; it's kind of like being on this never-ending quest for fulfillment where the finish line keeps moving.
wow, it sounds like you've been through a lot and pushed yourself to the limits both mentally and physically. it's tough when all the hard work doesn’t seem to pay off in the way you imagined. maybe rather than measuring your life by what society or family expects, try exploring what genuinely makes you feel at peace. finding new ways to connect with others who really get where you're coming from might help too. sometimes just talking to people with similar experiences can bring comfort and clarity, making those heavy burdens a bit lighter to bear ✨
hey there, it really sounds like you've been through the wringer, and i totally get where you're coming from. it's clear you've poured a lot of determination into your career; dental school is no easy feat and speaks volumes about your perseverance. maybe what’s missing isn't in the tangible achievements, but rather in finding small moments that bring you inner peace. have you considered exploring mindfulness or meditation? these practices can often help redirect negative thoughts and foster a sense of calm amidst chaos. also, while it feels daunting now, building new friendships can be incredibly revitalizing, offering fresh perspectives and support. don't lose hope just yet—sometimes life has a way of surprising us when we least expect it!
ya know, it sounds like you've been burning the candle at both ends trying to build a life that feels meaningful, especially under all those cultural and personal expectations. it's tough when after all that hard work, life's still throwing curveballs your way. 😕 maybe you're stuck focusing too much on what's missing instead of recognizing how far you've come. sometimes even just taking a moment to breathe and appreciate the little wins can change your outlook. what if you tried shifting from those heavy burdens to finding small joys in everyday moments? you've shown resilience this far, and who knows what positive surprises might be lurking around the corner.
it really sounds like you're in a tough spot, and the weight of all these expectations—both self-imposed and external—is pretty overwhelming;.. achieving a career as demanding as dentistry while managing depression is no small feat, so give yourself some credit for that resilience. it might be helpful to reframe your current situation not as an endpoint but as part of an ongoing journey; sometimes the pursuit of personal growth means re-evaluating what truly matters to you beyond societal benchmarks. maybe taking small steps towards nurturing parts of your life other than work—such as engaging in creative pursuits or joining social groups that align with your passions—could offer some solace or even open up new perspectives on what fulfillment looks like for you 😊
Hey there, it really sounds like you're in a tough spot. 😞 You've put in so much effort, and it's unfair when life doesn’t reciprocate the way you hoped. I can feel the weight of carrying cultural and personal expectations combined with debt—it must be exhausting! But sometimes when we hit rock bottom, it becomes a solid foundation to rebuild from scratch. Have you ever tried something completely out of your comfort zone just for yourself? Whether that's picking up an instrument or going hiking—new experiences can help shift our perspective and often lead to unexpected connections. Remember that healing takes time, but every small step forward is still progress. Hang in there!
man, it sounds like you're stuck in a rut and feeling the heat from every angle, including family pressure 😕, but don't let that define your story; i was once drowning in debt and depression after uni, thinking there’s no escape either until a random road trip with some strangers turned lifelong mates changed my perspective completely—have you tried stepping out of routine and doing something spontaneous to shake things up?!
Mate, I can feel your frustration and it's like you're in a constant spin cycle of trying to meet everyone's standards but your own. You have been grinding hard—more than most—and finished dental school under pressure; that's not something just anyone can boast about. It's rough though when family expectations clash with personal timelines, especially with cultural traditions adding extra weight, making it feel like you're missing some invisible deadline. When I was hitting a brick wall myself, I stumbled across photography and man, did that change my world view—it gave me an outlet beyond the grind and helped balance life out better. Maybe diving into something new or unexpected could give you a breather from this crazy loop you're stuck in; sometimes it's about shaking up the routine just enough so you can find room to breathe.
man, you’re really carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. i can relate to feeling trapped by expectations; it's like being on a treadmill where no matter how fast you're running, you're not getting where you wanna be. sometimes, maybe it’s about tweaking our definition of success and taking small risks towards things we genuinely enjoy—like trying out new hobbies or volunteering for causes that resonate. i once felt really low until I immersed myself in community activities; it sounds cliché but meeting people with different stories somehow made mine feel less isolated too. remember, every path is unique and still full of possibilities even when it feels bleak 🤞🏽
Man, life really loves to throw curveballs, doesn't it? You're out there busting your ass and jumping through hoops for dental school only to still feel hollow inside. It's like, what's the point of all this if you can't even enjoy the fruits of your labor? 🤯 You might wanna take a step back from chasing societal approval—especially when family throws that "unmarriable" nonsense your way—and focus on what genuinely lights you up. Sometimes we just need to say "screw it" to everyone else's expectations and find our own version of happiness; there's no one-size-fits-all approach. 😊 Have you ever tried connecting with communities or groups where people share similar cultural or professional backgrounds? It could help alleviate feeling like you're alone in this maze. Even if it's small wins at first, those baby steps could make a world of difference in re-calibrating your perspective!
Your story shows such perseverance and determination in the face of adversity!! It's clear you've done everything within your power, persevering through the challenges of dental school, grappling with societal expectations, and battling personal hurdles…
life has an uncanny way of demanding more than it seems to give back, huh?