I'm almost 30. I swear I tried my absolute hardest to make a life for myself I wouldn't regret. I remember even from middle school age want to not-regret anything. I tried to make meaningful connections, do well in school, and be true to my desires.

I wanted a career I could be proud of, friendships and family I could count on, and most of all to fall in love.

I worked and worked and worked. I got into dental school and worked even harder. I hope you can understand how hard this was for me. I'm not naturally gifted. But I got through and graduated. I have at least a job now. I know that's good. But it's absolutely not enough. I thought if I fought my hardest I could make a life I love. But all I have is an empty life I hate.

My family cannot understand how I'm unmarried at this age. They are traditional and I have Indian heritage for context. My younger brother recently got married. After this my single status was very difficult for them to accept. I think now, they view me as unmarriable.

I have significant debt due to the cost of my education. I have full confidence I can pay it off within 4 years. But it is a constant source of stress for me.

I became very depressed during my education. And I have been diagnosed with major depression for 8 years. I did not take this lying down. I went to therapists. I'm seeing a therapist now. I've tried many medications. I've tried acupuncture, spiritual healing, and exercise/diet changes. But I couldn't shake it.

I have one good friend. But to be very honest with you they are someone who asks me for money consistently. I feel pathetic saying it, but it's the truth.

I think there is no escaping this terrible life. There is no chance for me to live happily now.

I know many many people are suffering in the same way I am. And my heart aches for them.

I want to know. Is there anyone who has been this low and found a good life after this? In my opinion, I am terminally ill and I fear there is no hope for me. I would appreciate any advice or perspectives.

Stories in the same category