Self pleasure?
The story
So, like, here I am at 29 years old, and I keep finding myself tangled in this weird little internal debate: is it okay to provide yourself some self pleasure? I mean, let’s be real here. Growing up, I was always fed a bunch of moralistic nonsense about how it's a sin or whatever, which kinda makes you feel like you’re engaging in something super dirty when you think about it. On the flip side, everyone talks about self care and how important it is to know your body. It’s confusing! Like, are we supposed to feel guilty about this, or is it totally normal? Sometimes I just want to scream “HELLO, it’s 2025! Can we talk about this?!”
I’ll admit, I’ve dabbled in self pleasure a few times, and initially, it felt like I was doing something wrong. Guilt struck harder than the time I "accidentally" ate my roommate's leftover pizza. You know how everyone says, "You gotta love yourself before you can love someone else"? Well, I always thought that was just some cute line to put on mugs and tote bags. But honestly, there's a part of me that's starting to think they might be onto something. Like, if I never explore my own body, how am I supposed to know what I like when I'm with someone else? It's just logical, right? But then, it creeps in again—the feeling that, in some way, I’m “less than” because I’m alone while I do it.
I also have friends who share their own journeys with it, and their experiences are always eye-opening. One of my friends, let’s call her Sarah, swears by it. She told me how much it has boosted her confidence in her body and her sexuality. It’s hard not to feel a bit jealous because she seems so liberated and carefree; I often wonder what it would feel like to just let go of those thoughts that constantly run through my mind. On one hand, it’s like she’s so in touch with herself that it’s inspiring, but on the other, it makes me feel kinda pressured to be as comfortable as she is. So, am I supposed to just jump in and “get my groove on”? Do people even use that expression anymore? 😂 Sometimes I feel old-fashioned when thinking about something that's so modern!
Still, I find myself hesitating every time I think about giving it another go. What if I’m just doing it “wrong”? I mean, how do you even know if you’ve done it right? There’s so much information online about techniques, toys, and all that jazz. Part of me is super curious, while the other part is just doubting if this is something I should be delving into. Do I really need that, or can I just figure stuff out with a partner later on? I read this article that argued, “Self-pleasure is like exploring a new city by yourself before taking someone else along for the ride,” which sounded really poetic, but come on; does anyone actually take that to heart?
In the end, I'm left wondering if I should explore self pleasure to gain that confidence and comfort with my own body or just leave it as a taboo subject. I’m sitting at this crossroads of curiosity and doubt, and I can’t help but ask: Is it truly just a natural part of being human, or is it more complicated than it should be? Should I embrace it like my friend Sarah, or shy away and stick to what I know? The thoughts are cluttering my mind, and I really think I need to talk to someone about it—anyone out there relate? I guess what I'm trying to say is; how do you work through this weird mix of feelings regarding self pleasure?
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Points of view
I'm not entirely convinced that this hesitation and internal debate is really necessary??? Let's be real—why all the drama about something so natural!!! The pressure and guilt you're feeling seem a bit exaggerated, to be honest. It's baffling to think you're so tangled up in this dilemma over something that most people consider a standard aspect of self-exploration and understanding one's own body. Why make it more complicated than it needs to be??? True, different people might have different comfort levels, but is it really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things??? You talk about feeling "less than" and alone, but isn't that just another unnecessary burden you're putting on yourself???
Plus, you're basing a lot of your thoughts on other people's experiences, like Sarah's. Why compare yourself to her or anyone else??!?! Everyone's journey is unique, and comparing could just amplify your own doubts and insecurities. If you're interested or curious, why not approach it as your own personal journey instead of overthinking every aspect??? At the end of the day, maybe it's best to not overanalyze and just let things unfold naturally. There's no "right" or "wrong" way when it comes to knowing yourself... isn't it just whatever works for you?!
I totally get that you're feeling conflicted, but I'm not sure this whole internal debate is as big a deal as you're making it out to be. I mean, self-exploration is just a part of life, and lots of people see it as a normal way to get to know themselves better. Isn't it a bit of a stretch to feel guilty over something that's generally seen as healthy and natural? 🤔
Sure, growing up with those morals can leave a lasting impression, but at some point, it might be worth questioning whether those beliefs are still serving you or just holding you back. You mention comparing yourself to your friend Sarah, but isn't that just setting yourself up for unnecessary pressure? Everyone's got their own path, and it's not really about matching someone else's experience.
So, why not just focus on what feels right for you instead of overthinking it? At the end of the day, maybe this is just one of those things where it helps to let go a bit and see where it takes you without overanalyzing every little detail.
so right there with you on this one!!! exploring yourself should be as normal as brushing your teeth, if you ask me 🤷♂️ it’s wild that society still sometimes makes us feel guilty for just... being human?!?!
why feel shame for wanting to know what makes you tick??? like you said, it’s 2025; let’s just drop the taboo already. your friend's got it figured out; she's not feeling bad for taking care of herself and neither should you.
at the end of the day, it’s your body and your rules—don’t let outdated ideas hold you back; who even benefits from that mindset anyway???
kinda get what you're saying, but i don't know if this is all that complicated 🤔 let's be real, isn't it just a normal part of figuring out your own physiology? you really gotta wonder if all the guilt is just self-imposed clutter in your mind.
sure, there's a learning curve, but isn't that the case with any kind of experiential learning? you mentioned "a sin"—sounds a bit antiquated, don't you think? seems like you might be overthinking a very fundamental aspect of human behavior;
at the end of the day, maybe it's not worth dwelling so deeply on it. just explore when you feel like it, no need to stress so much!