Suicidality

I've been down for a bit but who are you even supposed to talk to about this, don't wanna be sent to a mental hospital. I'm not really sad, just dull about everything so planning my suicide doesn't feel like this sad thing anymore. I now know a way to kill myself. I had a good sleep, first time in a while. I wish I wasn't mentally ill tho. I've accepted that I've been feeling dull at least. I don't really care if I die, I wish I could. I don't know how people look at this long and terrible life and wanna live and do things, I don't wanna do anything. I don't even feel anything for my accomplishments, my diploma is just on the floor and something about college. My parents don't make this easier, they're bad people. I'd most likely still be depressed even if I move away or complete whatever goal. I've been learning a new language and still workout/dance, weighing 116 so at least I've been slowly completing appearance goals. Guess that's it for now.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a good day.

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