why am I so hard on myself?
The story
man, life's been a rollercoaster lately, and i honestly can't figure out why i'm being so hard on myself. maybe it's just this age thing, being 21 and all. i feel like i should be on top of the world, but instead, i'm just stuck in my own head. you ever feel that way? like no matter what you do, it's never enough? i've always been my own worst critic, but lately, it's like i've amped it up to a whole new level. it's not like i have messed up big time or anything, just regular life mishaps, yet i'm treating myself like i’ve made some colossal screw-ups. sometimes it feels like there’s this invisible scoreboard in my mind, keeping track of everything i wish i’d done differently. real talk, it’s exhausting.
i remember this one time, i was talking to a friend and they were like, "dude, why you always judging yourself so harsh?" honestly, i didn't have an answer then and still don’t have one now. it's like i can't shake this need to be perfect, even though deep down, i know it’s impossible. maybe because i see people around accomplishing so much and i feel like i should be doing the same. everyone else makes it seem so effortless while i'm over here with my thoughts tangled up in a million wires. when did life become a contest? am i the only one thinking this? because if i am, i definitely didn't get the memo about how to just chill and roll with the punches. is it social media pressure, or just society in general? i really can't pinpoint the exact trigger, but man, it's annoying.
it's like whenever i achieve something, instead of feeling proud, i'm just like, "okay, that’s checked off, what's next?"; i don't give myself a second to breathe and appreciate what i’ve done. let’s say i finish a project, rather than enjoying the moment, i’m already doubting if it was good enough. what gives? isn't that wild? i get that self-reflection is important, but this constant over-analysis is straight-up debilitating. there’s got to be a better way to navigate through life without beating myself up over every tiny thing. this might sound crazy, but i sometimes wish i could talk to teenage me, let him know it's okay to not have everything figured out and that the pressure he feels now isn’t gonna lead to world catastrophe.
so, i guess i’m here trying to figure out if i’m alone in this or if other 21-year-olds feel the same way. are we all just struggling to walk this tightrope of expectations versus reality? or am i really just putting way too much weight on my own shoulders? if you’ve got any tips or thoughts, i'm all ears. it's just hard not to compare, y'know? and every time i slip into that mindset, i remind myself there’s no rulebook stating i have to have my entire life mapped out at this age. it’s a work in progress, being kinder to myself, and maybe, just maybe, i'll figure out how to break this cycle. until then, i'm stuck here, trying to keep my head above water and learning to be a little less hard on myself. 🤞
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Points of view
Hey, I totally get you, bro; It's insane how hard we can be on ourselves. But I kinda disagree a little—maybe the pressure isn't just from age or society but also from how we measure success. Remember that scene in "Rocky" where he keeps getting up? Life's more about bouncing back than being perfect. I used to compare myself to others too, but then I realized everyone’s path is different. Why not take a sec to high-five yourself for your achievements? Have you tried setting small goals to appreciate the little victories? Sometimes pausing to reflect changes everything. Keep your chin up, you'll get through this!
Wow, I completely feel you on this, my friend!!! It's wild how much pressure we put on ourselves, especially with social media making everything look perfect all the time!!!! Your line "life's been a rollercoaster lately" really hits home; it captures the ups and downs we all face. I find it relatable when you mention, "everyone else makes it seem so effortless"—it reflects the common anxiety many experience today. In my humble opinion, society's expectations have created a competitive atmosphere that’s hard to navigate. Have you ever considered the idea that "comparison is the thief of joy"? Could focusing on personal growth rather than relative success alleviate some of that stress???
Dude, chill out a bit, would ya?!! You're acting like being 21 is the end all be all of life, but come on; it's just a number. Yeah, "life's been a rollercoaster," but whose hasn't, right? You're not alone in this, but you're making it sound like everyone’s got it figured out except you, which is a joke, man. Ever hear that saying, "grass is always greener"? You're getting lost in your own head, and it's not helping. Stop comparing your progress to others, it's a road to nowhere. Seriously though, have you even thought about whether these so-called "expectations" are real or just made up in your head???
Dudeee... that's so relatable !!! ( I'm 21 too ) and hell yesss I think the same way .. uk I've been failing in neet from the past 4 years .. but still I'm not gonna give up , I'll give my best again now this thing has come to my self respect.. so I'll put my everything on it.. so don't feel stressed all the time... everyone goes through this age and the emotional rollercoaster which happens in this age .. but with time I believe that we'll understand how important it is to appreciate urself over little or big things u achieve.. think like there's always someone who's not as good like u are.. but still ppl are happy with that much.. maybe there's always someone who's comparing themselves to u .. but u just don't know it .. afterall we all human beings are finding happiness.. life's short so live in the moment... otherwise the whole life will be spent just by checking out ur bucket list..and in the end u'll be like wtf did I got just checking out that list my whole life ? so if u achieve anything in life just enjoy ur feelings and emotions at that time..and appreciate urself cuz ur the best u can do anything..u got the passion.. everyone's been comparing to each other lately.. thinking the grass is greener always on the other side..but it's never like that.. everyone's finding happiness...and believe me happiness comes always in short forms... like maybe making ur mother smile and giggle.. hugging ur father ... teasing ur siblings...even rich ppl can't buy happiness..and ur a human being .. not a playlist in which one sec u feel so happy listening that dreamy song... and the other second so sad .. listening to that heartbreaking song.. so as human being we should feel one emotion for a longer time..if ur happy then just be in that zone... idk if my words are making sense to u lol .. but i told u my heart out as a 21 yr old girl..so just get a lifeee and smile ur beautiful or handsome idk lol !!
the relentless pressure to achieve at the age of 21 is utterly exhausting. your sentiment, "like no matter what you do, it's never enough," resonates profoundly in today's hyper-competitive landscape. frankly, the concept of perpetually striving for perfection is a fallacy perpetuated by society. when i was your age, i fell into the same endless loop of self-critique and it was mentally draining. is it not absurd to assume that one's worth is dictated by the arbitrary metrics of success defined by others? perhaps it's time to challenge this flawed paradigm. have you considered the implications of constantly comparing your 'high-frequency trading' data with others, only to find a needless fluctuation in self-worth?
totally hear you on this one!! this constant pressure to have it all figured out by 21 is absolutely ridiculous, right? society has crafted this unrealistic blueprint that everyone is somehow supposed to follow, but come on, that's just not real life. like you said, "life's been a rollercoaster lately," and it really is for all of us. the whole pressure to be perfect and to always be moving on to "what's next" without even catching a breath is just maddening. give yourself a break, man; you're doing fine! 🤷♂️ does that scoreboard in your head really matter?!! maybe it's time to consider if those so-called expectations are worth stressing over. you've got this!!! 😊