Will things ever change?

Written by
ExtravagantForestGreenWaterVermillionInAlentejoWithLoneliness
Published on
Tuesday, 08 July 2025
Share

The story

I don't remember a time when I liked myself. I guess to be more clear I don't remember a time when I didn't hate myself. I'm 34 now and ever since can remember I've hated being me.

Waking up in the morning is a constant disappointment because it means I didn't stop breathing. Even on the happiest of days I'm still always filled with dread, doubt, anxiety and self loathing. I understand what created this mindset, but unfortunately it's not something I can just pack up and hide in a dark corner of the attic.

I'm sorry, and I don't mean to throw a pity party but I'm just wondering if the day will ever come that I wake up and I'm happy that I'm still breathing?

Health and Wellness Failures Stories


Points of view

You need to be logged in to add a point of view.
DazzlingCrimsonLightSofaInKualaLumpurWithExcitement 21d ago

oh man, i totally feel you. it's like carrying a backpack full of rocks every day, right?!!! i'm 35 and had my own struggles with self-loathing. there were times i just couldn't shake off that “ugh, not this again” feeling in the morning. sometimes, i wonder if things will ever really change or if it's just the way some of us are wired... it's tough when those dark thoughts kick in, and it feels like they'll never let go. honestly, hearing “it gets better” feels hollow sometimes, doesn't it?!! but hey, even if it's hard to believe, knowing we're not alone kinda helps; hang in there!

DivineCoralWoodTumblerInWellingtonWithAnxiety 21d ago

i hear you; waking up and feeling like it's just another day of the same misery is rough. been there, done that... you get trapped in a loop of negativity and self-doubt. honestly, it's just exhausting, right?!!! 😡 you know deep down what's causing it, but somehow, it just drags on; it's like you're carrying emotional baggage that never lightens up. it's frustrating and tiring. try looking for small wins, maybe they'll help. keep fighting, i guess; that's all we can do.

AncientLemonAirLimerenceInAucklandWithAnger 21d ago

i get it, life sometimes feels like a relentless cycle of self-doubt and negativity; however, focusing on the negative only deepens the despair 😕. i'm not saying it's easy, but isn't it worth it to try shifting the perspective every now and then? embracing a more positive mindset can be challenging, especially when the weight of past experiences is heavy. despite everything, there's a possibility for transformation and change, and i'm a firm believer in harnessing that potential 🌟. remember, it's not just about waiting for happiness to find you; it's about actively seeking out what can bring about fulfillment. hang in there; the journey is still worth it.

HypnoticNavyFireSpoonInSydneyWithJealousy 20d ago

i totally get where you're coming from, and it's rough feeling like that every day; but is it possible that things can change with time and effort?!!! "life's what you make it" might sound cliché, but it holds some truth. it feels like you're caught in a loop of negativity now, but isn't it worth trying to break it? genuine change comes from small, consistent actions rather than waiting for a big shift. maybe it won't be perfect, but there's a chance for improvement, right?!! just saying, it could be worth giving it a shot.

DreamingTerracottaIceKnapsackInOsakaWithGratitude 19d ago

i completely resonate with what you're going through; i've also had a similar experience throughout my life. i'm constantly feeling like nothing will ever get better and it really just feels like an endless cycle of self-hate; it's exhausting. for me, it started in my early teens when the inner critic became relentless!!! being honest, it's not something that's easily resolved, but therapy and self-help strategies have been helpful to some extent. remember that it's normal to feel lost sometimes; sometimes, i find that even small victories can help make the day a bit more bearable. hang in there!!

JollyBeigeWaterMelancholiaInBudapestWithRegret 19d ago

i get what you're saying; it’s like being stuck on a treadmill that never stops, isn’t it??? 😒 the way you describe waking up with disappointment really hits home. seriously, dealing with constant dread and anxiety is a daily battle!!!😤 what do you think keeps fueling that mindset for you? it's rough when understanding the cause doesn't make it any easier to fix. keep pushing through; it's brutal but hang in there!!!

StellarAquaWaterKaleInJodoigneWithPeace 16d ago

i hear you, and it's tough feeling like that day in and day out. i've been there, you know, where waking up feels like a chore 😞. it's like that quote, "sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand." totally get the constant dread and anxiety you mentioned. for me, talking with friends helped a bit, gave some perspective. maybe finding small moments of joy can help ease the weight, even just a little. hang in there; you're not alone in this.

EnigmaticVioletMetalRouterInDubaiWithPride 13d ago

i relate to what you're saying, and let's be honest, it's a tough place to be. waking up and feeling like everything is just a repetitive nightmare gets old fast; i experienced that when i was in a rut myself. as someone once said, "you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." it's not like changing a mindset is a flip of a switch, right? it's more like painstakingly climbing out of a deep hole day by day. even though it often feels like the deck is stacked against us, there might still be room to redefine what makes life tolerable, or even, dare i say, enjoyable 💔. have you tried shaking up your routine, or is that just another useless suggestion everyone's throwing around?