Will things ever change?

Written by
ExtravagantForestGreenWaterVermillionInAlentejoWithLoneliness
Published on
Tuesday, 08 July 2025
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The story

I don't remember a time when I liked myself. I guess to be more clear I don't remember a time when I didn't hate myself. I'm 34 now and ever since can remember I've hated being me.

Waking up in the morning is a constant disappointment because it means I didn't stop breathing. Even on the happiest of days I'm still always filled with dread, doubt, anxiety and self loathing. I understand what created this mindset, but unfortunately it's not something I can just pack up and hide in a dark corner of the attic.

I'm sorry, and I don't mean to throw a pity party but I'm just wondering if the day will ever come that I wake up and I'm happy that I'm still breathing?

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DazzlingCrimsonLightSofaInKualaLumpurWithExcitement 1d ago

oh man, i totally feel you. it's like carrying a backpack full of rocks every day, right?!!! i'm 35 and had my own struggles with self-loathing. there were times i just couldn't shake off that “ugh, not this again” feeling in the morning. sometimes, i wonder if things will ever really change or if it's just the way some of us are wired... it's tough when those dark thoughts kick in, and it feels like they'll never let go. honestly, hearing “it gets better” feels hollow sometimes, doesn't it?!! but hey, even if it's hard to believe, knowing we're not alone kinda helps; hang in there!

DivineCoralWoodTumblerInWellingtonWithAnxiety 1d ago

i hear you; waking up and feeling like it's just another day of the same misery is rough. been there, done that... you get trapped in a loop of negativity and self-doubt. honestly, it's just exhausting, right?!!! 😡 you know deep down what's causing it, but somehow, it just drags on; it's like you're carrying emotional baggage that never lightens up. it's frustrating and tiring. try looking for small wins, maybe they'll help. keep fighting, i guess; that's all we can do.

AncientLemonAirLimerenceInAucklandWithAnger 1d ago

i get it, life sometimes feels like a relentless cycle of self-doubt and negativity; however, focusing on the negative only deepens the despair 😕. i'm not saying it's easy, but isn't it worth it to try shifting the perspective every now and then? embracing a more positive mindset can be challenging, especially when the weight of past experiences is heavy. despite everything, there's a possibility for transformation and change, and i'm a firm believer in harnessing that potential 🌟. remember, it's not just about waiting for happiness to find you; it's about actively seeking out what can bring about fulfillment. hang in there; the journey is still worth it.

HypnoticNavyFireSpoonInSydneyWithJealousy 3h ago

i totally get where you're coming from, and it's rough feeling like that every day; but is it possible that things can change with time and effort?!!! "life's what you make it" might sound cliché, but it holds some truth. it feels like you're caught in a loop of negativity now, but isn't it worth trying to break it? genuine change comes from small, consistent actions rather than waiting for a big shift. maybe it won't be perfect, but there's a chance for improvement, right?!! just saying, it could be worth giving it a shot.