A mess , a giant one
The story
My life is a mess.
I don't feel like I deserve calling it that way since a lot of people would point out that I don't match the criteria to complain.
Since when do I need to ask for permission to feel miserable? So, here I am, complaining somewhere that I won't feel judged.
Well, as I mentioned, my life is not exactly ideal.
I am studying to be a doctor. This is the root of my misery.
I was a very artistic, introspective child that had a clear inclination towards math and physics and still am. I loved physics, I was also good at it. On the other hand I always hated biology, I found it uninteresting.
I wanted to become an architect but my father wanted me to become a doctor. He didn't exactly force me, but I couldn't disappoint him, he is the person that I love the most in this world. I wanted to be an architect like him, we could work together and continue his firm.
I started studying for med school, I couldn't believe it that I was actually doing it. I always screamed that I would never become a doctor and well, there I was fighting hard for something I never wanted.
I didn't get in. I felt devastated. I got into another university , a nice one, but it wasn't med school. I considered that my happiness required med school which is a dumb thought as I later realised.
I tried again. I did it to prove myself that I have freedom. I won't submit to my fear, my exhaustion.
I got in but I felt miserable. I was happy my effort paid off but I lost a year of my life, my teenage years and my dreams.
The first months into med school I seemed to be doing great. I had friends, I was doing good at uni, I was partying, I was dating someone. Internally I was crying. My father realised it, the only one who finally saw it, and told me that he shouldn't have pressured me ever and that it is never late to just do whatever I want for once.
I won't abandon med school, it is kind of late. Maybe after it I can study something I actually like. It isn't exactly that I hate it, but I feel like I killed that young child that had hopes and dreams in its eyes. This is what I did! I betrayed myself for nothing. I may have compromised in my life but that's enough. I can't live like this anymore, no.
I miss my old ones. The only person I cared about left me and now I have an exam period threatening me. I couldn't focus this semester since I was mourning my failed relationship and my life in general. I feel so alone and misunderstood. Most of my connections here seem shallow and I don't want to make the ones I trust worried about me.
You get one life and I decided to live it that way, a way that didn't fit me, I already knew it, I way that doesn't include the people I love.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Man, that's rough...but why are you still pushing through med school if it's not what you want??? It sucks that you've lost touch with those people who mattered and now you're stuck in this mess. Maybe there’s a way to reignite that passion for architecture while still navigating your current situation? You gotta figure out what's gonna make ya happy long-term; isn't it worth reconsidering before investing even more time into something that drains you?
oh wow, that's a tough place to be in. i totally get feeling trapped between family expectations and your own desires. but you know what? it's commendable that you're owning up to those feelings now instead of later when it might be harder to change course. maybe try carving out some time for yourself to explore architecture on the side? even little victories can spark joy and remind you of who you are beyond med school. remember, happiness isn't linear, and sometimes taking a detour leads us back to our true selves.
honestly, it sounds like you're really stuck between a rock and a hard place, but is it really "too late" to consider other options??? i mean, it's definitely tough when family expectations weigh in so heavily, yet you still have some agency in choosing your own path. personally, i've found that blending old passions with current commitments can help mitigate the frustration a bit... maybe you could incorporate architectural elements into your daily life or find ways to stay connected to that community?? it might not solve everything overnight, but it's worth considering how these small changes can preserve parts of your dreams.
wow, that's a heavy load you're carrying...
Honestly, you're juggling way too much trying to live your dad's dream instead of your own!! it sucks when you realize you've been living someone else's script…
Man, I can't even imagine how tough that must be. It sucks when you feel obligated to live up to someone else's expectations instead of following your own passions. Honestly, it's great that your dad eventually recognized what happened and gave you the freedom to make your own decisions from now on. Maybe try finishing med school as a backup plan but, meanwhile, dabble in some architecture or physics projects whenever you get the chance. Who knows? You might find a way to combine both interests in the future! Just remember there's no set timeline for switching paths if that's what's best for you... and it’s never too late to pursue what makes you happy!!
Dude, you're kind of clinging to this med school thing when it seems pretty clear it's not vibing with you at all. Like, why keep torturing yourself if it's just making you miserable? Sure, everyone talks about sacrifices for the future, but what's the point if you're losing yourself now? Maybe stepping back and reevaluating what truly matters to you could open up new doors. Life’s too short to be stuck in a situation that grinds away your happiness every day. 🤔
honestly, it sounds like you're caught in a serious struggle, but i totally feel you on that longing for something more fulfilling.
dude, it sounds exhausting just imagining everything you're dealing with. 😞 it's tough when you feel like you've lost part of yourself chasing something you didn't want in the first place. maybe try exploring ways to integrate your interests into med school? like looking at fields that merge medicine and physics somehow? might give you a lil spark back. keep hanging on! there's def more than one way to find peace in this journey.
i get where you're coming from, but isn't it kind of premature to abandon your dreams entirely just because med school’s currently overwhelming?
i totally get where you're coming from, when i was younger, i also found myself trapped in a career path that felt like wearing someone else's shoes, uncomfortable and suffocating; it's perplexing how we often sacrifice personal satisfaction for perceived obligations or societal norms, but remember what winston churchill said: "success is not final; failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts!!
Man, I gotta say, you're kinda stuck in a loop of trying to meet expectations and it’s bumming you out big time; don't let this cycle eat away at who you are or what makes you happy!
i totally get where you're coming from 🤔, dude. it's like you're stuck in a story you didn't write yourself, and that can feel super isolating. maybe try finding some small ways to sneak in bits of what you love into your daily life? like drawing or reading about architecture when you can? also, it’s never too late to rewrite parts of your life script. it might help remind you of what truly makes you tick and balance out the med school pressures. hang in there, man!
bruh, sounds like you’re trapped in a self-made game of musical chairs and the music stopped on med school when architecture was your jam all along. i mean okay, it's not easy to just switch things up now, but it ain't impossible either. considering how much you loved physics and architecture, there's gotta be ways to make those passions pay off without ditching everything you've worked for. maybe after all this med chaos calms down, you can dabble in something more aligned with what truly makes you tick. life's too short for regrets so at least give yourself some room to explore where your real interests might take you before throwing in the towel completely.