so here’s the deal guys, i’ve been married to my hubby for like five years. it’s been good, ya know? solid, stable, all that jazz. before him, i was always with dudes, never gave it much thought. i mean, i was pretty sure i was straight as a ruler, or at least i thought!!! but recently, something’s hella changed, and it's seriously got me spinning my wheels.

my best friend, let’s call her jen, and i have been tight forever. we do everything together, and it’s always been super chill. then one day, outta nowhere, i’m like, “whoa, why does jen suddenly look like art?” serious, i’m dropping my jaw every time she laughs or flips her hair 🤯 what the hell is happening?! am i going nuts or what??? i’m stuck here trying to figure out if i like her just as a best friend or if there’s more to it. real talk, have you ever had this kind of confusion before? i’m feeling like a total idiot. it’s like, do i even know myself? i thought i had my type down, but now i’m not so sure at all!!! you ever hear that quote that goes, “the heart wants what it wants”? it’s like that. jen’s my person, man, even more than i could imagine.

and now i’m sitting here, overanalyzing every damn text she sends, wondering if there’s something more between the lines or if i’m just losing my marbles. doing the whole, “uhhh, should i say something? do i just need a cold shower, or do i need a freaking life adjustment???” the fear is real, y’know? not tryna blow up my life, ‘cause my husband’s great, but curiosity’s eating me alive; maybe i just need a new hobby or something. anyways, when does admiration become too much admiration, huh??? like, can someone please tell me why a chick i never looked at twice like this before is consuming my brainspace?

bottom line, i’m shook. questioning my straight gal identity is wild. i don’t wanna mess up my friendship or my marriage; both mean the world to me, y’know? i’m hoping this is just a weird phase that'll pass, maybe it’s just boredom or some hormonal glitch or whatever. but damn, sometimes it really doesn’t feel like that!!! i guess this is just another day in the soap opera that’s my life. anyone else out there questioning everything or is it just me??? 😬 thanks for listening to my rant, guys. needed to unload. peace out.

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