I hate falling in love

Falling for someone is stupid and a waste of time

I mean, I already had a feeling you didn’t, and just couldn’t, like me back

But some part of me wished you did

I hate that your so nice

So cool and super handsome

I hate that for many months the only thing that kept me awake at church when I would fall asleep was thinking about you

I hate your stupid smile that probably made others girls fall in love with you too

I hate that life is not a romantic drama that always has happy endings

I hate that finding “the one” is honestly bullshit

I hate that guys are so oblivious and stupid never picking up on hints, always making me blush but thinking nothing of it

But most of all I hate that you are older than me

I hate that I’m still young and it was all just wishful thinking to begin with

I hate that….. that it was honestly never possible

I hate that I’m delusional

I hate that there are other girls that are way better for you to fall in love with

And now I dislike the idea of you liking my sister

I hate it because I know if I were you I probably would too

I hate that she can do things that probably make many other people fall in love with her too

I hate that she is so unknowing romantic

I hate knowing that

I hate knowing that that would be a much more realistic relationship

I hate having crushes

I hate talking about crushes

Because it’s so pathetic finding out that they actually like your friend instead after just telling your friends you liked that person

And it sucks because you honestly try to brush it off and blame yourself for being so stupid

What’s worse is when your friend likes the same person as you and you support them instead because you are such a fucking people pleaser

And honestly I don’t really mind it but it hurts my ego and pride to be disappointed like that

I wouldn’t care at all but why….. why did it have to be you

Why do I know that you are probably going to fall in love with my sister

And why did it have to be my sister

One of my favourite persons

Honesty if it was someone else or you said already have a girlfriend I wouldn’t give that much of a shit

But why, why is it so…. sad why do I feel mad

Why does it have to be like this

And there’s probably nothing to prevent from happening too because you guys work together

I hate that I have such bad luck

I hate that life is truly just against me

I hate that I’m like this

I hate that I’m so insecure

Always hoping at least someone would like me

That way I would know it’s not impossible to like me and some people do find me interesting

I hate everything

I hate everyone

I hate me

Am i stupid for this?

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