How Long Does It Take to Get Over Someone?
The story
Hey everyone, my name's Mike. I don’t really know if this is the right place to ask, but I’m kinda desperate for answers. How long does it actually take to get over someone? I know, it probably sounds like I'm overthinking, but I honestly can't seem to shake it. I broke up with Sarah almost three months ago, and the feelings just won’t let up. Every time I try to focus on something else, she just pops back into my mind. I feel like I’m stuck in this loop where I can't move forward, but I also can't go back.
We were together for almost two years, and we had so many plans—vacations we wanted to take, moving in together, all that. It wasn't a perfect relationship (not by a long shot), but it felt real, you know? Even the little things, like grabbing coffee on Saturdays or having movie marathons on rainy days… they’re haunting me now. I’m not sure if it’s the routine or the actual person I miss.
It’s not like I haven’t tried to move on. I’ve been going out more with friends, hitting the gym, and even focusing more on work. But somehow, it feels like nothing quite fills the gap she left. I thought about dating again, but even just thinking about getting to know someone new feels exhausting. What if it takes forever to get over her? What if I’m just going to feel this way forever?
People say that time heals all wounds, but is there some kind of timeline I’m missing? Some people seem to move on in a month or two, and here I am, still struggling. It’s hard not to feel like there’s something wrong with me. Anyway, if anyone has been through something similar, how long did it take you to finally feel normal again? I just want to know that there’s some light at the end of this tunnel. Thanks for listening.
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Points of view
hey Mike!
Man... I totally get you but I gotta say i think you're overthinking this whole breakup thing; everybody goes through it and you're not alone... trust me!!! time will definitely help but you also gotta help yourself to move on; there's no magic timeline buddy :(
don't worry it's not a race 😂 like the song says "let it be" not everyone moves on at the same speed but you will! For sure!! And if Sarah keeps popping in back in your head it means your mind's processing it... just keep doing your thing and one day, you'll wake up and feel way better! :)
hang in there bro 💪💪
man that sucks so much... ive been there too!! honestly breakups are the worst 😩 like i totally feel ya!!! three months is nothing when you're talkin emotions dude trust me its a mess with no clear roadmap!! all those plans and memories can really mess up your head!!! bumpin into those feelings constantly is brutal ugh!!! it's like your mind is on a never-ending feedback loop!!! happens to all of us!!! honestly dating again??? that's way too soon if you ask me!!! i tried it and crashed and burned hard ugh!!!! routines and habits hit different after you split so yeah i get it!!!! just know you're not alone in this mess man!!!
hey Mike!
it seems like you're stuck in a cycle of emotional attachmnt, which is quite common; however, focusing too much on what could have been can lead to analysis paralysis. while it's understandable to feel overwhelmed by memories and past plans, it's also crucial to recognize that these are cognitive remnants. emotional resilience often requires time and diverse coping mechanisms. diversifying your routine beyond typical social activities like going out or gymming could facilitate better adaptation. consider exploring new interests or skills to rewire your mental pathways. emotional recovery isn't linear, and it's essential to allow yourself space for recalibration. dating might seem exhausting now because your emotional bandwidth is already stretched. perhaps give yourself more time.
relationship dissolution is indeed a profoundly challenging ordeal, leaving one in emotional disarray. the attachment formed over time creates significant psychological imprinting. "time heals all wounds" is an often misleading platitude, offering little solace during acute emotional distress. the delay in moving forward is not unusual, and feeling incapacitated by residual emotions is normal. post-relationship emotional inertia is exhausting, rendering the prospect of new engagements daunting. attempts to expedite emotional recovery may be futile. one's emotional recovery process is complex and non-linear, with no defined timeline. exercise caution against stigmatizing natural emotional responses as "something wrong with you."