I can't stop thinking about him...
The story
I don’t even know what’s wrong with me anymore, but I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s like no matter what I do, he’s always in my head, like a song stuck on repeat that I never even meant to play. I keep telling myself to move on, to focus on other things, but then something happens—some tiny, stupid thing—and I’m right back where I started.
I see his name pop up on my phone, and my heart does that annoying little flip, even if it’s just a random meme he sent in the group chat. I pass by the hallway at school where we used to sit together, and I swear I can still hear us laughing, like some kind of ghost of what we used to be. And that’s the worst part—there was a “we” once. Maybe not in the way I wanted, not in the way I dreamed about late at night when I stared at my ceiling, wondering if he ever thought about me like I thought about him. But he was in my life, and now he’s not, and I don’t know how to deal with that. I tried, I really did. I deleted our old messages, I stopped looking for him in every crowd, I even forced myself to talk to other guys just to prove to myself that he wasn’t that special. But itt didn’t work. It’s like my brain refuses to let him go, like it’s clinging onto every little memory, every dumb inside joke, every time he smiled at me in that way that made me feel like I was the only person in the world. And maybe he never meant to make me feel that way. Maybe it was all in my head, some fantasy I built up because I wanted it to be real so badly. But even if it was just me, it still felt real, and that’s what makes it so hard. I hate how pathetic I sound, like some cliche lovesick girl in a bad romance movie, but I don’t know how to make it stop. I tell myself he doesn’t even think about me anymore, that he’s probably moved on without a second thought, and maybe that’s true. But what if it’s not? What if he misses me too, but he’s just better at hiding it?
What if I gave up too soon, what if I should have tried harder, what if this feeling means something and I’m just letting it slip away? I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore, except that every time I think I’m okay, something pulls me back to him, and I hate it, but at the same time, I don’t want it to end. Because if I stop thinking about him, then what’s left? Just me, alone, with nothing but the empty space where he used to be.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Your story really resonates with me. I completely understand those recurring thoughts about someone who's no longer in your life. It's like an endless feedback loop. I've been there too, where every little trigger brings back every shared memory. It feels like your mind is running on autopilot, revisiting past algorithms. I remember thinking, "Will this ever stop?" It felt like emotional bandwidth was being stretched thin. Eventually, we have to debug our thoughts and process the reality of moving on. It's not easy, but reallocating that emotional energy elsewhere is key. You may feel stuck now, but trust that you'll find closure. Remember, even the best code needs optimizing. 👩💻
So like, I totally get where you're coming from, but honestly, I think you're kinda stuck in your own head too much.
Yeah, it's tough, but you gotta move on, you know? I was in a similar spot once, and I realized holding on just made it worse. You're too focused on the past when you could be meeting new people.
Sometimes, we think someone’s super important just 'cause they’re not there anymore, but life’s too short for that. 🤔 Just my two cents—hope you find some peace with it all.
i get what you're saying, but honestly, it sounds like you're stuck in a loop. "Let bygones be bygones" is what they say, right? it's like you're holding onto a past that's not coming back. trust me, it's not worth the headspace. i've been down that road, and moving on is way healthier. you're just spinning your wheels with all those "what ifs." 🤔 it's time to focus on the here and now instead of a chapter that's closed.
I feel you pain...
I had a guy I used to be really good friends with, and eventually, I started liking him. Then one day he randomly stopped talking to me.
But I got over him, but that's probably because I don't see him anymore since the marching band season ended.
If you just never let him go, things will never get better. Try meditating, and imagine him as a balloon that you are holding. Let the balloon go. Watch it fly into the sky, then look away. This actually helped me, and it might help you too <3