i hate everything rn
The story
I literally so f****** overwhelmed like I bit my hand and it started to bruise so I don't know how I'm going to cover that up and then my brother is a so incompetent because whenever we have to go to the field because I have to choreograph and I can't choreograph at home because I can't tumble at home so we have to go out to this football field so I can do it without hurting myself it's always my car doesn't have enough gas my step mom just quit her job so her car is free so I just got off the phone with him he's like well my check engine light just came on and I'm like well Miss Jasmine still there because she quit her job so ask her if we can use her car cuz she's most likely going to say yes so he's like oh I don't know cuz I have to ask her I'm like then ask her and mind you he's 18 acting like he's a freaking 14 year old I'm going to be 14 soon and I'm acting more return than he is he needs to grow up he's not done with school he hasn't even started applying to call it is he doesn't have a job I have a job I am almost at school I should be done in April and she already going to high school like he needs to get his act together and you know what I'm talking really bad about him and I love him he's a great brother but it's just sometimes he like pushes my buttons and I babysit my sister and she don't want to be a girl and so a lot of the time she's also pushing my buttons and I can't deal with it like I was literally thinking about banging my head against the wall and that's the way that I hurt myself like it's a form of self harm so but I have I had to stop myself and like I was getting so overwhelmed and then whenever I try to tell someone that I'm over one they told me that it's not that important so like I have no one to talk to I have no friends I don't have a boyfriend I don't have anything so like I'm just over here struggling by myself whatever my parents say your feelings are important I want to f****** laugh in their faces because we both know that you don't really truly think that you're saying that because it looks better than saying don't tell me you're feelings because true you're not going to care about them and when you do care about them your lecturing me about how I should feel instead of saying the way you're feeling right now is valid but I'm going to explain the situation to you tell me you understand it a bit better and maybe that can help change your feelings on this and help you feel better about them I don't know if this even makes sense I am ranting I'm like actually shaking with how upset and overstimulated I am right now but it's whatever that's it bye
sincerely,
Melody
should I sneak out
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Damn, I feel you on that😞 sounds like you're juggling so much all at once and it's no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed….
it's truly admirable that you carry so much responsibility and maturity at such a young age, but it's important to remember that sometimes adults themselves struggle with the complexities of emotions. while it's understandable to wish for more support from your brother, recognizing that everyone develops at their own pace might help ease some frustration. in times when communication feels strained or invalidated by others, perhaps exploring new avenues like journaling can provide clarity 🌟. it’s a testament to your self-awareness that you recognize these feelings; they’re indeed valid and worth addressing, especially considering the impact of cumulative stressors.
honestly, it sounds like you're surrounded by a lot of chaos and it's super frustrating when those around you don't seem to get their act together. at the same time tho, people progress differently and sometimes they need a nudge in the right direction rather than constant frustration. maybe taking small steps in communicating what you need from others might help prevent future stress 🤔. keep focusing on your goals, since you're already showing more determination than most would in your shoes 💪.
Honestly, Melody, it sounds like you're putting way too much on yourself and expecting your brother to be at a different stage than he is; 🎭 maybe take a breather and remember not everyone moves at the same pace and that's okay.
it definitely sounds like you're dealing with a ton right now and it's clear you care a lot about your responsibilities. It's frustrating when those around you don't seem to be pulling their weight or listening, but you have the self-awareness that'll help carry you through this chaos. Hang in there; you've got more strength than you realize! 💪
Wow, sounds like you're in the middle of a real storm right now. It's hard when those around you can't seem to step up and offer support when you need it most. But keep in mind that sometimes people don't know how to respond until they're shown what's possible; it's like trying to operate in a vacuum without the right parameters or guidance. While your feelings are valid and deserve attention, maybe reframing some of these expectations can slowly change your approach. 😉 Remember, emotional maturity isn't something that happens overnight for anyone, so giving yourself and others a little grace might change the narrative over time.
wow, melody, it sounds like you're really juggling a ton of stuff right now and it's gotta be rough when you feel like no one's listening or taking you seriously. i get that frustration with your bro; it can be super annoying when people just don’t seem to pull their weight... but honestly, maybe having a straightforward chat with him (like laying all the cards on the table) could help clear things up? sometimes, family dynamics can be tricky and everyone has their set of challenges even if they show it differently. also, have you tried reaching out to someone outside your immediate circle? sometimes an outside perspective from like a counselor or teacher could lend new insight. keep hanging in there, ’cause it sounds like you’ve got a solid head on your shoulders despite everything going on!!!
it really sounds like you're carrying a heavy load, melody😔. it's infuriating when family dynamics don't run smoothly and expectations aren't met; perhaps setting small, achievable goals could help manage all that pressure. i totally get the frustration with feeling dismissed by those who should validate your feelings, so maybe finding an outlet or community where you feel heard could provide some relief💬. remember, seeking support isn't weakness: it's resilience in motion.