i thought i was over him you know? breaking up seemed like the right choice at the time. we'd been together for almost three years and things felt... stagnant. we stopped talking about anything meaningful. every conversation was mundane, revolving around what to eat or when to hang out with friends. it felt like we were just going through the motions. i thought maybe love had faded away and that stepping out of it would be freeing.

two months later here i am sitting alone with this overwhelming feeling of regret gnawing at me. it's like a constant dull ache inside me and i can't shake it off. in the moments where everything feels too much, i miss his presence more than anything else. that familiar voice, those gentle reassurances, even our comfortable silence together... those things have been haunting me ever since we parted ways.

it's not easy seeing him move on either, he's got a new girlfriend now which only exacerbates my feelings of loss. they say time heals all wounds but time seems to be pouring salt into mine right now lol. im trying not to get upset every time i think about them together because it's partly my own doing anyway but deep down i'm lost and sad.

so many nights i've wanted to reach out tell him how sorry and stupid i feel for leaving but then these doubts creep in whispering 'would he even care?'. what if he is truly happier without me? the thought weighs heavy on my mind making it hard to breathe sometimes😔i guess i wrote this because holding it all in isn't helping anymore.

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