Mental health and Grief
The story
I hate my life so fucking much.
For the last 4 months I have been feeling so depressed, numb and alone and every night I sittl in my bed thinking to myself what has my life come to and I in the last 3-4 months I have had at least 2 mental breakdown a week ( that isn't me trying to flex in any way ) and cryed multiple times some times to the point I can't breathe or I fall asleep. This has oveousley been since I started college last September and my mental health just went down hill as I wasn't and still am not going the right support at college for my mental health and just over all my other needs That are clearly stated in my EHCP . The only thing I actually asked for and got was a laptop which I have load till June and the only sort of help I get is on a Thursday and Friday form an member of staff . when I should have someone on a Wednesday which again I did. But sadly it only lasted till the October half term as they gave that person to someone else and lefft me with no one and the worst thing about this hole situation is the or staff members of the support system at the college have been lieing to the support person I have on a Thursday and Friday by saying that I have had help in my lesson when that particular starf members wasn't with me and that is all day every Wednesday. I know it's not there fault or mine but surely they know what students need help. I must admit that every Wednesday when I get home from college I end up helping my mum with jobs then I go up to my room and sit on my phone untill it's time for dinner then I do other jobs around the house then got back up to my room and sit on my phone until it's time for me to go to bed. But I don't full asleep straight away or at all as I'm normally up until about 1-2:00in the morning as I end up having more than one panic attack or a meltdown because I'm so overwhelmed or I will cry myself to sleep..
side note the reason I have an EHCP is because I have Adhd.
and as some of you may know 5days before Christmas I got the devastating news that my nan that live in Weymouth sadly passed away and it didn't hit me hard at first but it sertenly has now and I'm feeling so incredibly numb, depressed and lost. and I just can't amagen how I will get through this year and the coming day as we all find out when her funeral is going to be and how I will cope when I'm at her funeral or when I'm back at college.
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Points of view
it really sounds like you’re going through a lot right now, and it’s perfectly okay to feel overwhelmed given everything on your plate. it’s quite frustrating when the support systems that are supposed to help don’t meet your needs—especially with college pressures and personal loss intertwined. just know, even amidst all this turmoil, finding a little brightness in small things each day might give you some comfort; hang in there, buddy.
it sounds like the college's support system is really dropping the ball here, especially with your EHCP needs—have you considered directly contacting a higher authority or ombudsman to help sort this out?
Navigating both personal loss and academic challenges can be incredibly daunting, especially without adequate support. It's important to acknowledge the gravity of your experiences; they are not trivial in the slightest. It might be beneficial to explore alternative support channels outside of college, like mental health groups or counseling services, where you can express yourself freely and receive understanding guidance. Remember, progress is incremental and reaching out takes courage—stay strong! 🌟