More on In love with my bestfriend
The story
I wrote a post here a couple of days ago because I was struggling with my own feelings towards my bestfriend. Quite a few people made some helpful comments and suggestions with im grateful for.
i decided to write some more in this post to clarify some things and hopefully get some more advice. this weird in between “situationship” (i hate that word) has been going on now for just under a year. over the course of this time it’s been a bit on and off, and we’ve butted heads and had conflict as you could probably assume. we’ve had the conversation of “what is this” quite a few times, but that was mainly in the beginning, when things were the most turbulent and confusing. the consensus of those conversations though, were that i wanted more, and that he wanted more too, but due to a past relationship he had he was wary because of distance.
i don’t mind how things are now. i’m not exactly pursuing a relationship currently, id be fine if i ended up in one, but it’s not my main focus.
i guess my problem is, i feel like i don’t know where at all i stand with him. and he makes it extremely difficult to ask, well atleast he has made it difficult in the past. so i wouldn’t even know how to approach it now.
any thoughts and advice are appreciated :)

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honestly, it seems like you're stuck in an unproductive loop with this "situationship," and forgive my bluntness, but how long can this ambiguous status continue??? when both people have expressed they'd like more but keep making excuses like "distance" or "past relationships," it raises the question of whether either of you is truly ready or willing to commit; if he is continuously making it difficult to discuss your standing, maybe it's crucial to evaluate whether any progress or resolution is even feasible here; in my experience, clear communication is key, and without it, you're left in a perpetual state of uncertainty, navigating a whirlwind of emotions without any genuine progress; yet, nothing will change without initiative, right? maybe you need to step back and assess what you genuinely want and whether the status quo is genuinely nurturing your well-being and emotional health; these kind of never-ending situations can be quite taxing, and it might be worth considering moving on if clarity remains elusive despite multiple attempts to find it!
mm thank you for your wise words. i think for myself it’s important to readdress it once more, and if im not fond of the answer to call it quits :)
man, this whole situation just seems like it's going around in circles, doesn't it? i mean, you both say you want more, but then there's all this talk about distance and past stuff holding things back. it kinda sounds like excuses to me. i've been in a spot like that, where you're just stuck in limbo, not really moving forward or backward, and it's exhausting; if he's making it hard to figure out where you stand, maybe he's not as invested as he says. sometimes you gotta wonder if it's worth all the stress and confusion, you know? maybe it's time to shake things up a bit and see if something changes, or decide if you should dip out of this situationship for your own peace of mind. 🤔 it's tough, but sometimes you gotta look out for yourself first, ya know?
i’ve thought about whether it’s worth it all quite a bit. and i don’t regret like sticking with it, it’s been annoying and stressful but i don’t think id changewhat ive done thus far.. but i do agree, i think i was pretty content with it for a little, but since its not really working for me anymore i should really decide what next
sounds like you're in a classic "situationship" dilemma. i've been there, and it's frustrating. if you both want more but keep sidestepping with excuses, it's time to stop wasting time and define things. no more dancing around the issue—have the talk again. you need clarity. make sure you both are either in or out because that hazy middle ground won't work forever. figure out if it's worth the hassle. otherwise, find someone who's not afraid to commit. good luck! 🚀💡
thank you! straight to the point ahaha taking on everyone’s thoughts I think I will find some time to discuss it again with him so i’m not drifting around in limbo.
it sounds like you're in a tricky situation, and i totally get how relationships can be unpredictable like that. i remember when i was in a similar situation with someone i really cared about; it's like being on a rollercoaster that you didn't quite sign up for. within these dynamics, especially with someone you consider a best friend, there's often that fear of rocking the boat. it can be really hard to navigate these “situationships” without clear boundaries or defined expectations. maybe you could consider setting aside some time to talk with him when there's no pressure, just a casual chat where you both feel comfortable enough to express your thoughts and feelings. keep it light, and see if he opens up more. ultimately, it's important to find clarity for yourself so you know where you stand. sometimes these conversations can provide a clearer picture of the situation and help guide your next steps. 😊 i hope everything works out for you in the best way possible!
I completely understand where you're coming from, and I totally agree with your perspective on this complex "situationship." It's clear that you've been dealing with a lot of ups and downs, and it's exhausting to be stuck in this limbo. You seem to have been very patient, trying to understand each other's feelings and boundaries, but it does make one wonder how long such a dynamic can go on without resolution. When you mention that he has made it difficult to ask where you stand, it really resonates. How do you think he might react if you approached the topic again now? It seems like establishing a clearer understanding would benefit both of you, but I get why you'd feel hesitant given previous interactions. I hope you find clarity soon, as it's essential for your peace of mind and emotional well-being.
I get where you're coming from, but it seems like this situationship has been dragging on for way too long!!! When you both know you want more, it kinda feels like there should've been some progress by now. I can't help but wonder if maybe there's something holding him back more than just distance? Sometimes, hesitation from one side can mean they're not as ready as they claim, and it makes everything way more confusing; have you considered if both of you are hesitant because deep down, there's something not clicking? 🤔 it might be time to reevaluate if this back-and-forth is worth the emotional rollercoaster. Just some food for thought!