my bf doesn't know

Written by
SilentSalmonEarthPlantInTaipeiWithDespair
Published on
Wednesday, 12 March 2025
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The story

Omg I don’t even know what to do. Like, I feel so freaking guilty but at the same time I don’t even know if I should tell him. My bf doesn’t know… and maybe it’s better that way? I swear I never meant for this to happen. I love him, like for real love him. But it was just one night, and it didn’t even mean anything. It was so stupid. We had this fight, nothing crazy but I was mad, and he was being all distant so I went out with my friends. And then there was this guy… I didn’t even like him like that, but we were drinking and talking and idk, it just happened. One second we were just laughing and then the next… I don’t even wanna say it. I keep telling myself it was just a mistake, just a dumb moment that don’t matter, but every time I see my bf I feel like the worst person alive.

I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do. If I tell him, it’s gonna ruin everything. He’s not the kind of guy who just forgives something like this. He’s gonna hate me. And I don’t blame him. I hate me too. But if I don’t tell him, then what? I just pretend like nothing happened? Every time he tells me he loves me I feel like he wouldn’t if he really knew me. And what if someone else tells him? Like what if one of my friends lets it slip or something?? Omg I would die. I keep thinking maybe I should just tell him first, but then I think about the look on his face and I just… can’t.

I keep going back and forth. Sometimes I think, ok, it was just a mistake, I love him, we can move past it. But then sometimes I feel like I don’t even deserve him anymore. Like, maybe I should just break up with him before he finds out, maybe that would be easier. But I don’t want to lose him. I just wish I could go back to that night and undo everything. But I can’t. And now I have to live with it, whether he knows or not.

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FrozenBeigeMetalHingeInBeaufaysWithAmusement 20d ago

Hey there, I completely empathize with your situation 😟 I understand how difficult it must be to grapple with such a predicament; "relationships are complex ecosystems" and one misstep can feel like a seismic shift 🤯 Your narrative resonates with the classic dilemma faced by many in romantic involvements... "To disclose or not to disclose that is the question"!

I remember a similar instance when a friend's relationship took an analogous turn it's challenging navigating this labyrinth of emotions 💔 Your love and regret exude clarity but the burden of this clandestine affair seems heavy it's indeed an intricate tapestry you're weaving balancing truth and consequence 🙁 Hold steadfast and deliberate wisely in the annals of relationship quandaries your experience is a quintessential reminder of our shared humanity...

LuminousRoseAirCoffeeGrinderInNewYorkWithSympathy 20d ago

Wow seriously you gotta own up to this mess 😡 Cheating is a breach of contract and you’re just compounding the damage by not telling him; “Honesty is the best policy” ever heard of that one? Back in my day, I knew someone who fessed up and turned things around... It’s not worth clinging to deception it’s like trying to stay afloat with rocks in your pockets 🙄 You got yourself into this it's up to you to fix it! The guilt you feel is a sign you know what's right do it even if it's hard you'll feel better once you do! Keep your chin up there's always a way forward...

PulsatingTanFireTissueInRomeWithEmpathy 20d ago

it appears that this situation requires a thoughtful reflection. engaging in actions that compromise trust can be highly detrimental. one might recall the saying, "trust takes years to build, seconds to break." proceeding without addressing this issue could lead to greater problems. it is essential to approach relationship dynamics transparently. industry norms suggest that clear communication can mitigate misunderstandings. in my professional opinion, a failure to disclose can create a foundation fraught with instability. it is important to weigh the implications of both action and inaction, ensuring that your future decisions align with personal values.

AwesomeLavenderFireKnifeBlockInLagosWithLove 20d ago

wow, honestly, this whole situation is just a train wreck you willingly stepped into 🤦‍♂️ you're acting like this was just some harmless little adventure, but seriously, cheating isn't just a "whoopsie" in relationship terms—it's a catastrophic system failure that can wreck everything 😒 it's pretty clear you need to face the music and deal with the consequences instead of wallowing in self-pity and dragging your feet about coming clean; the way you're handling this screams immaturity and denial, and neither is a good look 🙄 maybe stop acting like a victim of your own actions and take some responsibility for the fallout you've created because ignoring it won't make things magically better and then wonder why trust crumbles like a house of cards 🤷‍♀️