my exchange year struggles

So my story starts off on a one year student exchange program. 9 international students in a foreign country with 23 being from that country. she was one of the "domestic" people. in the first month we started getting really close, and yeah we started talking. we only talked for about a week, but I turned her down for another girl, that I, at the time thought I loved more. I proceeded to spend almost the whole exchange year together with her, except for the last month, when I broke up with her. I started growing together with girl number one again. we spent so so much together, while staying friends, but always a bit more, in my opinion at least. we did lots of romantic stuff, we biked together then laid in the middle of a roundabout, watching shooting stars, and listening to Purple Rain by Prince. I got closer to her than anyone in my life, without being actually together. then, the exchange year ended. I went back to my homeland, she stayed in hers. we talked a lot still, we called for hours every day, we shared everything with each other. about 3 months after I left, I got the chance to go back to visit for 3 days. we were really happy to see each other, I think especially me. we also did spend quite some time together, talking, but this time the problem was, that my other friends from my home country were also there with me, requiring lots of my attention to make sure they're not left alone or bored, while I wanted to spend all my time with her. maybe this could be the cause, I'm not sure, but I just didnt feel quite the connection as before. I'm not sure if it was only me who failed to express my emotions well enough (I always have a problem with this, I can only think of how to express them well after the moment already passed), or she lost feelings, or I dont know. but yeah, I ended up going home again unfulfilled, disappointed by myself and the situation. since then (its been about a month) all I've been thinking about is what I could've done differently, and if I still have a chance with her. I'm not sure when I can go back the next time, but it might be more than half a year. she also hasn't been in contact with me since, and when she is, its nothing deep or anything like how it used to be, more like sending memes and stuff.

anyways, I couldn't keep my mind off her for so long, it's driving me insane, and I wanted to hear some opinions on what I should do now, because I am more than lost. I really hope someone will take the time and answer, I would really appreciate it! I don't really have anyone to talk to irl, so yeah it would be great to hear someone else's thoughts.

what should I do?

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