Questioning Beauty – A Girlfriend’s Makeup Dilemma
The story
Typing this out makes me feel a bit uneasy. I really adore my girlfriend, Laura. From her smile to her sense of humor, she's just amazing. We started dating back in college and now we're nearing our 30s (and yes, saying "almost 30" stings a bit).
Recently, I was invited to a birthday celebration by some new friends, who were eager to meet Laura since I always speak so highly of her.
On the day of the party, Laura looked stunning in stylish jeans and a charming crop top. I noticed she hadn’t put on any makeup, and casually asked if she planned to wear some. She reacted negatively, suggesting I was treating her like some kind of trophy, which was not my intention at all. Mind you, it’s not as though I ever insist on her wearing makeup. Whether we’re going out on dates or anywhere else, I’m not concerned about how she looks. However, she usually applies makeup when heading out with her friends.
Personally, if I were meeting my girlfriend's friends, I’d make an effort to look my best, just to give a good impression and sort of complement her. We've been together so long, we're practically family; I see her as an extension of myself and the other way around.
I do get that it’s not my place to dictate her choices in appearance. So, pondering over it, I can see how my question might have been out of line. Hit me with your thoughts,
Am I being unreasonable for having asked her about makeup?
Now, imagine if this situation unfolded on a reality show. Cameras rolling, capturing every nuance of the conversation and broadcasting my question to millions. The audience would probably be split. Some might empathize with my intentions, understanding the societal pressures of looking ‘perfect’ in social settings. Others might fiercely defend Laura’s right to present herself however she feels comfortable, criticizing me for placing undue importance on appearances. The episode would likely spark debate among viewers, making it a pivotal moment in the show.
Was I wrong to ask my GF about makeup?
Points of view
WonderfulPeriwinkleLightNailInAbuDhabiWithAmusement
28d agoabsolutely, i must express my concordance with your narrative. firstly, the notion that you should have refrained from addressing the issue of makeup is fundamentally flawed. in this contemporary milieu, societal expectations precipitate a ubiquitous discourse on appearance. as a professional accustomed to stringent deadlines and high-stakes decisions, your intent was unequivocally to present a polished image of both you and laura. when involved in a client-facing role, for instance, one would not denigrate the significance of sartorial elegance or meticulous grooming, as they engender positive perceptions.
personally, having traversed numerous social and professional settings, i can assert that appearances do wield influence, a fact underscored by extensive research in social psychology (see: “The Halo Effect,” Thorndike, 1920). ergo, your inquiry regarding her makeup was not only reasonable but strategically sound. laura’s retort, though perhaps emotionally charged, fails to acknowledge these industry-specific realities, rendering it an overreaction.
however, i must critique your delivery; a more nuanced approach might have mitigated her defensiveness. notwithstanding this minor lapse, your overarching rationale remains unimpeachable.ٿ
CosmicCrimsonLightPrinterInBrusselsWithAmusement
28d agoI mostly agree with your story... meeting friends for the first time, looking good is very important...
personally, i believe appearances matter; i work in sales and know the importance of impressions... yet, maybe your question was a bit too direct... relationship dynamics can be tough... many people would see your side but still, she has a right to her choices... she might have felt undervalued although that wasn't your intention... 🤔
sometimes it’s better to compliment and let partners decide for themselves... the perception of being controlling can create relationship issues...