Confrontation Over a Necklace: Love or Possession?

I've been in a loving relationship with my boyfriend, Alex, for two years now. Just last week, he made the romantic gesture of proposing to me, which of course, I joyfully accepted. Following this happy event, I met up with my girlfriends for a weekend brunch to celebrate and discuss everything about the engagement and upcoming wedding plans. Many of them are already married and were eager to share their experiences and advice.

As we were enjoying our meal, one of my good friends, Megan (F33), noted the necklace I was wearing. It was a special gift from Alex, engraved with what would be my future initials after we get married, combining my first name and his last name. I've always been excited about taking his last name, and this necklace was his way of symbolizing our future together.

However, Megan's reaction was far from what I expected. Upon learning that Alex had gifted the necklace, she launched into a critique, accusing him of maintaining "antiqued" cultural views, and labeled him as controlling and possessive. I tried to clarify that it was my choice to take his last name and that the necklace was a symbol of our commitment, not ownership. But Megan wasn't having any of it and described my cherished gift as a "dog collar," implying Alex was treating me as property, which she deemed misogynistic.

Frustrated by her harsh words, I retorted sharply, "Well, you should be glad because nobody will ever claim you in such a patriarchal way." Tears welled up in Megan's eyes and she hurried out of the brunch. While most of my friends supported me, mentioning that Megan was out of line, a couple of them later suggested I should apologize, especially since topics related to marriage are particularly sensitive for Megan as she's the oldest and still single—a fact that has visibly upset her at other weddings.

Honestly, I didn’t mean to hurt her, but was it wrong to defend my relationship and the symbols we choose to represent it?

Imagine if this scene played out on a reality TV show. The cameras would zoom in on everyone's expressions, capturing the shock, the confrontation, and ultimately, the tears. Viewers would likely be split. Some would applaud standing up against harsh judgment, while others might criticize the choice of words, calling for more sensitivity. Social media would buzz with opinions and polls, perhaps even igniting broader discussions about cultural expectations and individual choices in relationships.

Was my response to Megan over the top?

Was I too harsh in my response to Megan?

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