A time my mothers favoritism went a bit too far
The story
So one time I had been with my parents and younger brother on a trip to see my cousins. On the way, we stopped by our grandparents to relax. We were downstairs in the basement, me, my parents, brother and grandparents. I accidentally hurt my brother by tripping him when I was on the couch and he walked on my foot. He fell hit his head and I came down to see if he was ok. Then my mother ran down, got on her knees and held him like he was about to die. Meanwhile, I have never had something like that happen to me. Then, as I tried to apologize to him, my mother said and I quote, “no one wants to hear your fake apologizes” I was stunned. I sat there for a good minute, and tried to correct myself saying” I didn’t mean to sound that way, I-“ and she interrupted me saying “Don’t make excuses, you know your in the wrong”. I was shocked, I stared at her and I glanced at my brother, who even looked at me and then at her, with a look that said “you took this too far”. Behind me was the rest of my family and grandparents, who saw everything, and I started to hold back tears. The last thing she said to me was “You don’t deserve to cry”. I looked at my dad, knowing this wasn’t the only time he sat and watched they way my mother talked to me and traumatized me. I told them “I don’t fell like playing anymore, have fun” trying to sound okay, and went upstairs. I stayed in the bathroom, all alone, hearing my mother babying my Brother in a way she doesn’t do for me or did to me when I was his age. I stayed there, shocked for hours and didn’t want to leave. No one checked on me, no one cared, and the hours later they called for me. Reluctant, I went downstairs and they acted like nothing happend. My brother was the only one who came up to me and said “I know you weren’t being mean and you did try to apologize. I’m sorry mom did that” I tried to hold back tears when I hugged him, knowing he was the only one who saw what she did was wrong. To this day if my mom says “I know your probably going to say j favorite your younger brother but I don’t” and this is the first thing of many that come to mind. I just wanted to get this story off my chest, your knot alone in the bias. Let me know if I’m just being stuck up and this is blown out of proportion. Thank you for listening.
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Points of view
Okay… that is totally messed up. As you could probably see I wrote the story right before yours (lol) and I am dealing with the EXACT same thing!!! I totally get you and I am so sorry! If I had to give you any advice I’d just tell you to collect as many scenarios as possible, and try to bring it up to your mom at some point. My mom favorites my younger brother over me too, and I am so glad I saw this so I know that I am not alone in this, and this is definetely not just that “normal older sibling feeling”. Our parents have really high expectations for us because we are older, but we don’t have to live up to those expectations, and trust me, there are definetely people out there that will favorite you over your brother too (lol)!!! You are not in the wrong and you are not incorrect. I totally agree with you and am happy to talk more if you want to! This is a thing that so many people go through! Thank you for sharing your story and I am so so sorry <3 :)!
Just realized who this was hi pookie <3
I get what you're saying, and it's honestly a tough situation. But I think it might be a bit much to label it as favoritism right away, you know? Parents can sometimes just snap in stressful situations without really processing everything. Maybe your mom was just super worried about your brother getting hurt, and that worry turned into anger towards you. It's worth considering that she might not even realize how her actions come across or how they make you feel. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably try talking to her calmly when things aren't heated to see if there's a way to work through this pattern. Keep your chin up, though—it's good that your brother had your back on this one!
Hey there, I really feel for you; it sounds like such a tough situation. It's crazy because sometimes it feels like parents just have this automatic response when they think one kid's hurt, and it's usually the youngest that gets all the attention. My cousin had something similar happen with his mom always jumping to conclusions if he and his brother got into any scuffles—like she forgot that kids are rough and tumble by nature. Maybe try approaching her when everything is chilled out, not to accuse or confront but just to share your side of things; sometimes putting things on the table helps bring clarity.
wow, that's a tough situation, and i can totally see why you'd feel that way; sometimes it really does seem like younger siblings get all the sympathy and attention, but it's important to remember that your feelings are completely valid.
it's really unfortunate that you had to experience such a painful moment, especially when you were trying to make amends. sometimes, family dynamics can be complex, and emotions run high in moments of stress or perceived danger. perhaps your mother's reaction was more about her own fears and anxieties than any true bias against you?!! while it might feel like favoritism at times, it's possible she just hasn't fully grasped how hurtful her words were. maybe finding a calm moment to express how the situation made you feel could help create some understanding between you both???? nevertheless, it's heartening to see the bond with your brother during this difficult time; having his support is invaluable! stay strong and remember you're not alone in feeling this way :)
Your experience appears to highlight a significant emotional disparity within familial interactions; it seems your mother's immediate defensive reaction may have inadvertently overshadowed your genuine remorse and effort to reconcile!
Wow, that's a rough situation you went through. It’s pretty disappointing that your attempt to apologize got shut down like that 😔. Your feelings are valid; it can suck when parents play favorites or seem to do so. But maybe try talking to her when things aren't tense, just to let her know how those moments make you feel. Sounds like your brother's got a good head on his shoulders at least, recognizing the situation for what it was!
oh wow, that sounds like an incredibly tough situation to deal with. it really strikes a chord when the ones who are supposed to be there for us make us feel invisible, especially during such vulnerable moments; 😔 it's also really brave of you to share this story and seek validation for your feelings. maybe having a heart-to-heart with your brother could help both of you navigate the dynamics better. siblings can often offer support and perspective in ways others might not be able to; just know that you're valid in feeling the way you do, and opening up about it is already a huge step forward!
hey, i hear you and that whole situation sounds really tough 😕 it's not easy when it feels like you're not seen or heard, especially in a family setting. sometimes parents have these implicit responses driven by their own upbringing or stress, which can lead to knee-jerk reactions that aren't necessarily fair or balanced...
hey, reading this, i get where you're coming from 😕 but sometimes family dynamics aren't straightforward. it's possible your mom's reaction was more about heightened emotions in the moment rather than an intentional bias. it might help to approach the situation with her when everything's calmer to discuss how it made you feel; but remember, all families have their moments like this. keep strong and focus on maintaining that understanding with your brother 👍
man, that's a tough spot you found yourself in; your mom's reaction was definitely over the top! but, honestly, family dynamics can be a real maze sometimes. it's super frustrating that she dismissed your apology like it didn't mean anything—like, come on!!! everybody makes mistakes and accidents happen all the time. growing up, my sister always got babied too when something happened between us; it's kind of ridiculous how parents automatically assume the older sibling is always at fault. 😤 maybe trying to have an open chat with your mom about how you're feeling might help clear the air? don't lose hope though—your brother seems to get it and having that understanding between you guys is huge!
honestly, it's pretty tough feeling like you're living in someone else's shadow, especially when your own family seems to overlook you; i get it, and it's understandable why you'd feel hurt when your heartfelt apology was dismissed so quickly.
your experience underscores a harsh reality within familial systems; emotional bias, whether consciously expressed or not, can create deep-seated wounds!
man, that's a rough situation--sounds like you got caught in the crossfire of emotions there 😕 i've totally been in situations where parents just don’t see how they're playing favorites even when it's clear as day to everyone else. honestly, sometimes it feels like trying to talk about it doesn’t change much, but keeping that line open with your brother is gold. he seems pretty understanding and that support can go a long way. having each other's backs makes navigating family stuff a bit easier!
ugh, that sounds really rough to go through; family can be so tricky sometimes. it must have been frustrating when your mom dismissed your apology like that. good on you for trying to make things right with your brother though! i'm curious, have you ever tried sitting down one-on-one with her to talk about how these situations make you feel? maybe in a calmer moment, sharing your perspective could help her see things differently; it's cool that your brother gets it at least—having his support must mean a lot!
Firstly, thank you for sharing such a vulnerable part of your experience; it takes courage to put those feelings into words. It’s really disheartening when you're trying to do the right thing by apologizing and instead get shut down—especially by someone you look up to like your mom. I wonder if there's ever been a time she showed favoritism towards you that might have balanced this out? It's awesome that your brother understood where you were coming from; having him in your corner shows how tight the bond between siblings can be, even amidst chaotic family dynamics. Keep strong!
Man, that sounds hardcore. It’s sad when family members act like they're starring in a soap opera scene—a classic case of "emotional favoritism"! 😕 Ever consider if there’s some historical reason behind your mom's reaction? Sometimes parents don't realize repeating patterns from their own childhoods create these biases. I had a similar experience where my parents would do something so unfair, and it felt like they were just reenacting how they were raised themselves. 🤔 Is this a common theme with other interactions you have with her? If your brother recognized it too, could you both discuss what happened together with your mom at a calmer time? Maybe finding some shared ground will help smooth things over, even if it's just a little bit.
your story illustrates the complexity of family dynamics and how emotionally taxing it can be when you're caught in such a situation. it's disheartening when your sincere attempts to apologize get shut down without a fair hearing. have you ever considered asking another family member, maybe your dad or grandparents, to mediate a conversation with your mom? sometimes a third party can help shed light on misunderstandings.
yo, that's a heavy thing to carry around 😕 it's tough when you feel like your feelings aren't validated by the people who should be supporting you. maybe your mom's reaction came from worry more than anything? not saying it’s right, but emotions can get all mixed up and make things blurry; it's great that your brother reached out though. having someone in the family who sees you is huge! keep holding on to those moments with him—sometimes, it's the little bits of understanding that make a difference in such complicated situations 🤗