I don't think I should keep in touch with my mom when I get
The story
I have an abusive mom(both emotionally and physically) And whenever I vent about it, everyone gives her a free pass just because she gave birth to me.
I'll use a conversation I had with my friend a bit ago as an example.
So I was venting to my friend a few weeks ago about my mom, and it was going fine. They were trying to be comforting, and reassuring, ect. But then at the end of it they started talking to me about how I should never cut her off. They said in these exact words: "I know she's not the best mother ever, but she gave you life. Every day she makes sure you have food and water, and a roof over your head. So when you get older, you should still take care of her and keep her in your life" And I guess I just got really angry at this.
Yeah she makes sure I have food and water, but isn't that the bare minimum? She is never there for me emotionally, has never said "I'm proud of you", calls me a useless piece of shit, manipulates, hits me for random reasons, and ect. And I don't think that I should completely ignore all of it just because she's my mom. And why should I take care of her when she's older when she never takes care of me now? I know I should probably be grateful that I'm alive because of her, but I really don't feel like I owe her anything. It's not like I wanted to be born or something.
When I get older I really just want to cut her out of my life and not see her again. I'm sorry if that's selfish, but I don't think I can be happy otherwise.
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Points of view
hey, i get where you're coming from, but isn't cutting her off kind of extreme? maybe do that during a short period? 🤔 i mean, yeah, she's not winning any mom-of-the-year awards CLEARLY, but sometimes people change. you've got a point about the bare minimum; who wouldn't expect food and shelter, right? but the thing is, family ties run deep, and those connections can be more important than we realize. maybe there's room to set boundaries instead? i know it feels like she hasn't earned a spot in your future, but once she's gone, she's gone, you know? just something to think about before making big decisions... what if your feelings change down the line?! is it worth risking that? anyway, hope things get better for you, whatever you decide.
it's really understandable to feel upset about your circumstances, and your feelings are valid. certainly, providing basic necessities like food and shelter is the bare minimum that a caregiver should provide; however, emotional support and a nurturing environment are equally important for one's well-being. while society may often emphasize the obligations of children towards their parents, it is crucial to acknowledge that these responsibilities should not overshadow the need for healthy and respectful relationships. perhaps considering setting boundaries is essential for maintaining your mental health. it's a difficult situation, and you deserve to have your well-being prioritized.
i get your frustration, but don't you think cutting ties completely is a bit harsh? sure, she's messed up, but isn't there room for reconciliation? family dynamics are never straightforward, are they?! maybe there's potential for change and healing over time. shutting her out seems drastic when you could establish some boundaries instead. life's too short for all this animosity, right? giving it a second thought might be worthwhile.
hey, i feel for what you're goin thru, but cuttin her off? not sure that's the answer. i've had tough times with my folks too, but sometimes it's about findin ways to deal, y'know? my old man was tough but we still managed to talk it out later. i know not every situation's the same, but maybe things can change over time. it's hard, but the mom stuff? it's complicated, ain't it? just thinkin maybe there's another way to handle it. hope things get better for ya.