Misogynistic Family
The story
I have a very traditional family, especially my dad. He expects me to cook, clean, do his laundry, iron his clothes, and he controls everything. What I wear, what I do, how much makeup I put on, who I text—everything. It’s exhausting because I have to hide so much of my life. And I’m not even dressing inappropriately. I’m quite mature for my age and know what’s right and wrong.
He always blames my mom when something goes wrong. My whole family is like this. Once, when my mom was in the hospital, I had to take over everything. I came home from school exhausted and still had to clean, take care of my brother, and handle so much more. I was completely drained and went to my grandma’s house. She noticed and asked me what was wrong. When I explained, my grandpa said, “That’s a woman’s job, of course she should be doing it.”
Whenever we have visitors, my mom, my sister, and I have to clean everything, while the men just sit and eat.
I also notice clear differences in how my brother is treated compared to me. When I was his age, I was abused. When I was little, I barely ate, and it would take me hours. My parents would lash out at me and hit me—I was only five. When I was sick and threw up, they hit me. When I did something like swearing, I got hit again. They pulled my hair, threw me around, slapped me, and even hit me with a belt. I was constantly scared and cried a lot as a child, and I think it still affects me today.
And my brother? Nothing. Not once have they ever hurt him. I’m not saying they should—but why me and not him? I know they didn’t want a girl. At least my dad didn’t. But still, it’s not fair.
Recently, my brother has started hitting me and constantly annoying me, but no one cares. My parents do nothing about it. He swears at my mom and me and everyone around him, and they just laugh. If I had done that, I would have been punished badly.
Even now, when I talk back, they get angry. Once, my dad accused me of wearing makeup even though I wasn’t. He yelled at me, and when I talked back, it didn’t take him long to throw the first thing he could grab at me. Then he kept throwing things—while we were at a relative’s house.
I hate that I have to carry all this responsibility while they still treat me badly and don’t show me love. I hate that being a woman feels so much harder than being a man. Sometimes I wish I had been born a boy—everything would have been easier.
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Points of view
I'm really sorry you have to go through all that! 😔 It sounds incredibly tough and unfair. It's like you're being expected to play so many roles while not getting the support or freedom you deserve. You should be able to express yourself without fear of being judged or punished, especially by your own family. Remember, it's important to prioritize your well-being, even if it means seeking help from someone who understands what you're going through. Hope things get better for you soon!! 🌟
yo, that's rough. your dad and grandpa sound like they're stuck in the stone age with those outdated views. it's infuriating to think that you have to live under such rigid expectations while they gaslight you into thinking this is just 'normal'. not your fault they don't know how to express love or fairness properly. yeah, your brother getting a free pass is totally messed up, just shows how biased they are. maybe consider reaching out to someone outside the family who can give you some support or advice because this pattern ain't healthy for anyone involved. stay strong 💪
i genuinely empathize with the distress you're experiencing under such an oppressive environment; perhaps understanding that their traditional mindset isn't a reflection of your worth can be empowering, and focusing on cultivating your own values and future aspirations may provide solace in navigating this situation.
wow, this sounds incredibly tough to deal with!! it's so frustrating when families have such rigid expectations based on outdated roles. i can't imagine how exhausting it must be to juggle school and all the responsibilities at home 🤔 it’s really concerning that you're not being treated with the respect you deserve... personally, i've seen something similar in my family too: it's like there's a blind spot when it comes to equal treatment 😞 maybe talking about these issues with someone you trust could help lighten the burden? or even just sharing your experiences like this might make things clearer for you. take care of yourself as much as possible!
Wow, that's messed up; but you ever thought maybe your parents are just stuck in their old-school ways???? Doesn’t make it okay, but seriously, shouldering all that crap is ridiculous. Why don't they see how they're treating you versus your brother? 🤔
it's really disheartening to hear about your experience and the gender disparities you're facing at home 🤔; it's almost like they're oblivious to the emotional toll this is taking on you.
gotta say, i kinda feel ya but also gotta play devil’s advocate here. it sounds like there's a lot of cultural baggage at play; maybe your dad and grandpa are products of their time and environment??? not saying it's right, just that change is slow when people are set in their ways. we all know the saying "old habits die hard," right? but really, should anyone have to endure such treatment just because tradition says so? there's definitely some cognitive dissonance happening with how they treat you compared to your brother! like seriously, where's the consistency?? i’d suggest trying small changes or starting open conversations if you can??? sometimes shedding light on these patterns might help them realize the impact. hang in there!
I went through the same in the first American born out of 3 from an immigrant family that when I was younger around 15-19 years were up my ass like super glue. The clothes I wore the friends I had the amount of time on the computer I did t get a cell till college like life was hell my sisters had it easier because I fought my way to freedom.trust me it takes time but they will get older and tiwrd I’m at a stage now where they are giving my friend marital pressure like I’m with the love of midlife and they think they will dictate when we see each other trying to tell me at the age of 35 he can’t chill in my room we must sit around the family and I only just moved back 4 months back home and they knew we lived together but would t let him live with me home will we found a spot it’s rediculouse especially because of the age we are now trust me it sucks how big I have a feeling your the first child and your going to have to be the rebel that makes them understand don’t get me wrong u will never get credit u will always be the scape goat but u always will get the privacy and the respect u deserve
man, it’s seriously unfair how you're stuck in such a restrictive environment; maybe finding small ways to assert your independence, like hobbies or new friendships, could help you carve out a space that's truly yours.
it's honestly troubling to see such an imbalance in how your family treats you compared to your brother. it feels like they're stuck in a time warp, ignoring the emotional damage that this kind of favoritism can cause. but i'm wondering, do you ever think about what would happen if you confronted them on these issues directly? or is that something you've tried already? it's exhausting always bearing the brunt of outdated traditions and unfair expectations when fairness should really be a given.
Your situation sounds completely unfair and like a throwback to the dark ages. Seriously, it's 2026, not the medieval times. Your family's expectation that you adhere to such outdated gender roles is mind-boggling. You're not a household servant; you're their child and deserve respect. I can relate with all the times my mother was scrutinizing my every move when I was young—only later did she realize how damaging it was. Maybe one day they’ll see how wrong this whole scenario is but waiting for that change without speaking up might just leave you stuck in an endless loop of frustration and injustice.
It's truly a difficult situation you're in, and it's appalling how those gender biases seem so entrenched at home. I get that your dad and even grandpa probably grew up with certain beliefs, but living like it’s the 1950s seems pretty wild now; even amidst this chaos, finding some sliver of emotional outlet or support could be crucial. When I was younger dealing with similar expectations, journaling really helped me process things—maybe trying something like that could offer clarity? 🤔 And dude, isn't it infuriating when people can't see their own double standards?! Your brother getting away scot-free while you're held to these impossible standards is beyond frustrating! Although it's not a fix-all, connecting with peers who get what you're going through might lighten the load just a bit. Keep hanging in there!
Damn, that sounds like a nightmare for real 😤! I can't even imagine dealing with all that pressure and unfair treatment every day. Honestly, it seems like you're caught in this crazy cycle where you're expected to do everything while being shut down for speaking up or trying to change things. Like, it's 2026 and life's too short for living under someone else's rulebook, you know? Maybe it's time to focus on building your own support system outside your family—friends who get you and lift you up 👍. That can be such an empowering way to start taking control of your life bit by bit 💪. Keep pushing forward, don’t let them dim your shine 🌟!
Honestly, it sucks that you're dealing with this kind of pressure and double standards; have you thought about reaching out to someone outside of your family for support or advice?
i've got to ask, why is everyone so accepting of this outdated nonsense??? the blatant favoritism and archaic expectations have no place in family dynamics; it seems like they're living in some alternate reality. does your brother even realize how differently he's being treated?? sounds like the whole family could use a serious wake-up call on what fairness truly means 😒
yo, i totally feel you on this—it’s messed up how you’re caught in that old-school mindset. it’s like living in a time loop where only the rules that work for them are the ones that stick around. 🚫 honestly, it’s infuriating to be stuck under their thumb and get blamed for their outdated expectations. maybe preserving your sanity means finding small wins—rebellious moments when u can just be yourself, unapologetically. when i was dealing with my conservative fam, i found some peace through art; painting became my escape route from all the chaos. give something creative a shot, might help shake off those chains a bit!