Oh Baby!
The story
Myself 35F and my husband 36M have been wanting to start a family for a while now. A things initially put us off such as space and family drama. As well as some conditions 35F has.
We decided this was something we have to try been referred to - specialist for these going through tests and realise that we are told we only have months try before going to possibly do IVF.
We are keeping this private. But some of the family isn’t supportive they have to try or won’t know.
A family member has a big birthday coming up and they want to book something but we have told them that we can’t commit as we also have another big family birthday that weekend and that their night be more people to consider it a little one if possible. Am I over reacting given that the birthday is 10 months away and we have been given less than thst to start a family? What do people always have to book so far in advance and we keep getting pushed for an answer. I really want a baby and to be pregnant but I am wondering if k am putting too much pressure on it and myself. Especially if we do have a baby it will be hard to travel.
Not sure they underpants that or willing to give us space. I feel very on edge about it all. As I want it so much. Thoughts?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
While I understand your desire to start a family, I'm concerned about how you're handling the situation with your family member's birthday. Is it really fair to withhold a commitment based on an event that might or might not occur? You mention the urgency due to your medical condition, and the recommendation to try naturally before considering IVF, yet it seems you're placing unnecessary pressure on yourself and the family dynamics. The decision to grow your family is deeply personal, but could this be affecting your ability to communicate with loved ones? It's understandable that family planning could complicate travel plans, but have you considered the possibility that flexibility might ease the tension? It's also noteworthy to remember that these timelines are often fluid; sometimes, in such moments, it's beneficial to let life take its course instead of trying to control every aspect. What if the anticipated complications do not occur or the family trip coincides with your timeline? Perhaps it's worth reconsidering how you communicate your intentions to your family members and how adaptable you can be in this period of transition?
Thanks we have told the family member with the birthday why we are not committing. It’s my Dads birthday the same weekend they want to book something.
Their birthday is 10 months away and we have been given less 6-9 months to start a family birthday
We have communicated with both sides what we are trying to do, but the family member has already gone and booked accommodation of the trip possibly with us included.
i get where you're coming from, really, but maybe you're overthinking this a bit. i had a cousin who stressed a lot about trying to get pregnant and it made everything so tense. turns out, when she chilled a bit, things worked out better for her. it sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate with the timing and family stuff, but maybe try to take it one step at a time. i get that family pushes for plans, mine does the same, but sometimes you just gotta give yourself some breathing room. who knows, things might align better than you think. you ever try just explaining to them how important this is for you right now? maybe they’d understand more than you think.
I totally get that you're feeling all sorts of pressure right now about starting a family, but I'm wondering if you're letting this weigh you down more than necessary. It sounds like you're really caught up in the timing of everything and worried about commitments down the line. But honestly, it’s almost like you're locking yourself into stress mode instead of letting life flow a bit. Of course, the pressure from family about the future plans can be pretty overwhelming, but could it be that by keeping things a bit more open-ended, you might find the space to breathe? I mean, it’s understandable to want some assurance about how things are going to pan out, yet it feels like maybe there’s some room to just roll with the punches. Could it be that communicating your situation clearly to your family would ease some of the tension? It might not be as bad as you’re imagining. 🤔
Its my dads big birthday the same weekend that they want us to go away. So we are waiting to see what happens with that and what my dad actually
Wants to do. We have told the other family member exactly what is going on and why we can’t commit right now is. But they want to go and book accommodation so they have included us as well.