The Future Is Unknown, And It’s Scary
The story
I (14F) didn’t really get to have a childhood, I was forced to grow up fast. Apparently my life was good until I was 5, but I don’t remember that. When I turned 5, my mom had my baby sister but her and my dad got a divorce. I had to stay with my mom,but she wasn’t good at parenting whatsoever.My mom was doing several drugs and would sell our toys for drug money.I always had to take care of my baby sister while taking care of myself and school. So much had happened during that time that changed my life forever. Now I live with my dad since he got custody of me and my sister, but it hasn’t been easy with him either. I’m going to be turning 15 later this year,but mentally I feel like I’m between the ages of 6-10. Im not able to control it, since I started accepting the more childlike part of me that I didn’t get to feel when I was younger I’ve noticed some mental changes. Im not as smart as I used to be and at times I physically feel younger like the ages I said before. I have a hard time taking care of myself like eating right, sleeping right, taking my medication,ect. Im scared of the future because I know I’ll have to get a job and drive soon. I have terrible anxiety and crazy painful panic attacks,and I don’t know how I would get a job without any social abilities. Im terrified of driving because I have been in several car accidents, plus I can barely walk across the busy street on my own without being scared as hell.
Me,My dad, and my sister live with my grandma and grandpa in their house. I don’t have my own room because our rooms are in the areas upstairs.me and my sisters area is just an open room by the staircase with a divider between our beds and my dads room in infront of ours but he has a door. I’ve never had my own room but now that I’m getting older I kinda want my own room but I can’t. My dad knows about my mental issues and has taken me out of school because of my anxiety (and issues with the school), but I won’t finish Highschool so it will just be harder to get a job. Im scared to move out but I want to because I just want my own space. My dad said he would take care of me forever because it’s hard for me to just function normally through a day, but I know he won’t be around long enough to do that because he is already 46 and I don’t want to put him through that. I don’t know what’s wrong with me or why I’m like this, nobody can tell me what’s wrong
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Points of view
I understand your situation is challenging, and thank you for sharing your story. It seems there might be some misunderstandings about your potential; child development experts like Dr. Maria Montessori have demonstrated that individuals frequently flourish when granted the appropriate support infrastructure. Consider seeking professional advice regarding managing anxiety and developing social skills; therapy or counseling could offer insight and strategies to enhance your daily functioning;✨ It's promising that your dad offers support; perhaps exploring adult education options could help accomplish your educational aspirations.
it's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed, but it seems there could be some misconceptions regarding your potential for growth and self-sufficiency. the narrative suggests an association between childhood adversity and current mental health challenges; however, individuals often possess an inherent resilience that can be nurtured. while your dad's willingness to support you is commendable, it might be beneficial to actively seek out resources that can aid in developing your autonomy. living arrangements and lack of personal space are certainly not ideal, but with time and effort, these circumstances could change. balancing anxiety with the demands of future responsibilities like employment and driving seems daunting; a gradual approach can alleviate some of this pressure. remember, personal development is a journey, not a destination…
man, i totally feel you on this one. it sounds super tough to have dealt with all that growing up without really having a childhood. having to be "the responsible one" when you’re just a kid yourself? yeah, that’s a raw deal. your story really hits home because it shows how family stuff can mess with your head and future plans. like, you’re living proof of what they say, "we grow through what we go through." it’s wild you’ve managed this far, and it sounds like you got a good head on your shoulders despite everything. having your dad and grandparents around is solid and yeah, i agree; you’re just looking for a little space to call your own, right? keep hanging in there, even when it feels like you’re spinning your wheels. sometimes just getting your thoughts out there like this is a good start.