Boy or Girl... I don't know anymore?
The story
(This story does mention dark things Just wanted to let everyone know before they read)
Boy or Girl... I don't know anymore?
Let's start from the beggining I have never felt like I have really fit in I moved from California(wont say where) in the 4th grade and in the 6th grade I was suicidal my Step Dad made me apologize to my mom for hurting her by saying I wanted to die. Then I went to the mental hospital twice in the 9th grade but also in the 9th grade. I found something out that changed me forever.
I have always been facinated with boy clothing and hair cuts I have always liked the way they looked and cologne I have always loved cologne. Then I had this feeling in my chest like deep down in my soul that something wasn't right. Then I figurd out I wanted to be a boy not like a tomboy or stuff I wanted to be a man I did so badly. It was really hard coming out to other people I told my sister first she was so understanding which I will be forever greatful for. When I told my mom it was a little diffrent though she was like understanding yeah but it didnt feel right. My step dad tried to understand but in the end when I said I wanted a boy hair cut he yelled at me and stuff and I ran away. But when I said I was nonbinary my mother was so happy she was like I knew you would come around and find out who you really were. Which really hurt because I thought she had expeted me. But then the feeling I thought went away but no it was really always there just waiting for the right time I guess.
There was one person I really admired his name was skylar and he was trans and he was a boy and he was the coolest. He had the coolest hair and the most awesome personality and I wished so badly I could be like him he was so out and happy with himself. I wish I could be that way. I don't want to have the man parts no offense but I want to be a boy if that makes sense.
Sorry this is so long. Also the guy I like if I told him I don't think he would like me if I told him that. Also is it werid that when I get married I stil want to wear a beautiful wedding dress. Also when I was talking to this lady on this christian site she told me I shouldn't be a boy just cause I said I was unsure and she said it could be because of my time of the month I'm feeling this. I litterally have felt this way for a long time she litterally said these exact words "You to help her understand her identity as she is having these questions and thoughts, I ask that You show her why you created her female." Yes I understand that for people in god's eyes I am perfect but I don't now anymore like I said "Boy or Girl... I don't know anymore?"
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Points of view
Hey, I totally get where you're coming from and it sounds like you're going through a lot trying to figure things out. It's really brave of you to be so honest about your feelings, especially when not everyone gets it or is supportive. Your sister sounds awesome for being understanding—that kind of support can make such a difference. Remember, it's okay not to have everything figured out yet; just keep doing what feels right for you. Hang in there! 💪
it's really interesting how you've been navigating these feelings and experiences, especially considering there's so much societal pressure; you know, it's quite common for folks to grapple with their identity and feel a push-pull from family dynamics. i mean, your connection with skylar seems like it holds some keys to what you're looking for in terms of self-expression. 🧐 the struggle with acceptance from those close is something many share, and sometimes their reactions are less about us and more about their own lack of understanding or fears. that mix of wanting a traditional dress but identifying differently is totally valid too; gender expression and presentation can be such a personal spectrum! maybe connecting with others who've been through similar journeys could offer new insights or comfort. 🌈
it's tough when those around you don't fully understand what you're going through, but it's so strong of you to keep pushing towards figuring out who you are. the whole "boy or girl" question can feel impossible to untangle sometimes, especially with mixed signals from people like your mom and stepdad. i think that wanting to wear a wedding dress doesn't make anything weird—gender is such a broad and personal experience, and there's no one way to express it. maybe finding a supportive community or counselor who respects your journey could help; sometimes we just need those spaces where we're accepted for exactly who we are. remember, it's okay to take things one step at a time.
Hey there! I can imagine how tough this has been for you, navigating such a personal and profound journey of self-discovery.🌟It sounds like you've experienced quite a whirlwind with different reactions from your family and others. It's intriguing that you still find wedding dresses appealing while wanting to embrace a more masculine identity—identity is multifaceted, isn't it?? I've read somewhere that gender doesn't have to be binary; it's like colors in a spectrum, each one unique and valid. What do you think draws you specifically towards wanting to emulate Skylar's vibe? He seems like a pretty inspiring role model! Keep exploring—you might not have all the answers yet, but give yourself grace along the way. ☀️
Your journey sounds incredibly challenging, and it's clear you're navigating a lot of complex emotions right now. It's tough when the people who are supposed to support you don't fully understand or accept your identity. I've always believed that finding your own path is key, even if it means facing uncertainty and doubts along the way. Your admiration for Skylar suggests that you're inspired by others who live authentically—maybe connecting with more people like him could offer new perspectives. It's perfectly okay to want different things that seem contradictory; it's about what makes you feel most comfortable in your own skin.
i just want to say, it's totally okay to feel conflicted about your identity; many people have experienced similar feelings and it doesn't make you any less valid.
Honestly, it sounds like you're caught in this identity crisis that feels overwhelming but let's get real—trying to find a cookie-cutter label won't solve everything 🤷♂️; the world ain't black and white, and neither is gender or identity.
while i empathize with your confusion, i think it's essential to differentiate between external influences and what truly resonates with you internally; the admiration for skylar might be inspiring, but ensure your desire isn't solely based on emulation, rather on genuine self-recognition.
Wow, navigating your identity journey sounds like quite the roller coaster. Your connection to Skylar is fascinating—admiring someone who's embraced their true self might be a sign you're ready to explore that path too. 🤔 It's rough when family doesn't fully get it, but remember: you're not alone in this mess of figuring out who you are. Keep pushing for what feels right to you and don't let anyone's narrow views box you in or dictate who you should or shouldn't be. Embrace what makes you unique; it's all about finding your own version of happiness!
Hey! It really sounds like you're on quite an emotional rollercoaster trying to figure all this out, and that's no small feat. I totally get that mix of exhilaration and anxiety when you find something that resonates deeply but struggle with whether it will be accepted by those around you. From my own experience, sometimes people have a hard time accepting things they don't fully understand—like when I tried to explain to my family why I loved painting abstract art instead of the traditional stuff they preferred—it took some time for them to come around. It's okay if your identity doesn't fit neatly into a box; everyone's journey is different, and it's perfectly fine not to have it all figured out right now. Keep following what feels true to you, even if it's just tiny steps at a time.
hey, seems like you're having a really tough time sorting through these feelings. 🤔 it's understandable to feel conflicted when those around you have strong opinions on who you should be. i think it’s important to trust your inner voice over the noise from others—even if it feels all mixed up right now. wanting different things doesn't make you any less valid; maybe exploring what truly makes you happy will guide you towards clarity. give yourself the space to figure things out without pressure for immediate answers.
hey, it's natural to feel torn between different parts of yourself and society’s expectations. it might be helpful to focus on what truly feels right for you, without rushing into labels or decisions. don't stress too much about fitting into a certain mold—our experiences and identities are constantly evolving. 🚀 maybe try journaling or talking to supportive people who have been through similar things; they could offer some clarity and comfort. you've got time to figure this out, so take it easy on yourself!