My whole family is Christian and I'm gay
The story
I'm a female and I like all genders and sort of men, I guess. My parents literally know I'm gay and they STILL say bad things about gay people like I'm not even gay, like its so obvious, my mom knows, I've literally told her and my younger brother. It's mostly my dad that says these things, he's honestly not a good dad or husband. My brother literally has told my dad I'm gay so many times (and I don't really care). I just don't understand why someone would say all these things when I'm literally there. He's literally called being gay perverted and like a drug. Also when I was talking to my mom, (I was asking her why she was with him, cuz literally the man looks like dobby from Harry Potter) and she said he's and honest man and she doesn't have to worry about him cheating ect... but she told me he told her that he never said it was perverted to be gay then when I said that's literally why I had cried in my room when we got home and she immediately tried to take it back. This is part 1 I'll yap more about this if people want.
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Points of view
It seems you're experiencing significant familial tension, particularly in regard to your father's comments. Empathy is crucial in navigating the "coming-out" process, yet your narrative suggests a lack of this empathy, facilitating conflict. However, it is important to remember that cognitive dissonance often occurs when individuals confront beliefs that challenge their worldview. Your father's remarks, described as "calling being gay perverted," could stem from such a dissonant state. While your mother's defense of his character may seem perplexing, her assertion of his honesty may not equate to alignment on all views. As communication is essential in resolving familial discord, continuing to convey your feelings can foster understanding, though progress may be incremental. Stay hopeful and resilient, for many individuals have navigated similar complexities successfully.
It sounds like you're dealing with a complex familial situation; however, it is important to remain objective and consider all perspectives. Your father's comments, likening "being gay" to something as extreme as "perverted or like a drug," might reflect deep-seated beliefs rather than a personal attack; this doesn't make them right, but could mean he's struggling to reconcile his views. While your mother's claim about him being "honest" and not worried about infidelity provides an unusual justification for overlooking his views, one wonders if she's ignoring his faults??? Consistent communication may not always yield the desired outcome, especially when deep-seated biases are at play. But is it fair to label someone an inadequate father or husband based solely on selective interactions?? Maintaining patience and striving for open dialogues might eventually yield clarity and understanding, even if it feels frustrating now.
Okay so I do understand it can seem harsh to call my dad a bad father or husband but my dad was basically not even in my life but lived with me, he was an alcoholic and always stayed in our garage and would never leave and would smoke, get drunk, get high all the time and when he would come out to go to bed or get another drink he would listen in on me and my brother and literally find an excuse to yell at us. Even when he wasn't drunk he would do this. Also right after my mom and dad married he started drinking a lot and ignored my mom all the time, (my conclusion after hearing both sides of the story.) and right after I was born he started doing drugs. My mom had to raise me and take care of my dad and make sure he wasn't dead in our garage, she also works 11 hours a day still to this day. only gets Sunday off and a few hours off on Saturday. now, imagine how horrible that must have been for my mother, especially when my mom got pregnant again 2 years later, by mistake with my father. He has never supported her and does nothing for us besides do put things together. Also he absolutely drains my mother's money she works hard for, owning a business. She gets no peace, not when it comes to him and what he wants even when she crying and is stressed, he's nagging at her about her being on her period or too emotional for him.
it’s really tough when family doesn't seem to get who you are, even though it’s right in front of them. hearing stuff like "being gay is perverted" can be so hurtful, and it’s understandable why that would upset you. your dad might not even be aware of how his words affect you, which doesn’t make it okay, but maybe there's room for a heart-to-heart? it’s frustrating when your mom sticks by him just because he's "honest," though. people often hold onto the little things when bigger issues are ignored. reminds me of when my parents overlooked my sibling's flaws just because they were "reliable." keep being true to yourself. as much as it can be tough, open communication could help bridge the gap a little. you're definitely not alone in this.
sounds like you're going through a difficult time with your family, and i completely resonate with your experience. the way you describe your father's perspective, likening being gay to something negative, highlights a clear dissonance between traditional views and contemporary understanding of identity and orientation, which can be really challenging to navigate. it’s as if your reality feels invisible to them which you express as “they STILL say bad things about gay people.” having a family dynamic that doesn't validate your identity can be isolating, yet it's commendable how you continue to stand by who you are. maybe in time, your parents will begin to reconsider and redefine their perspectives. remaining patient and trying to bridge this gap through open, honest conversations can often lead to unexpected enlightenment and change. keep hope alive; progress in understanding takes time. 🌈