My Battle With Lust
The story
I know this is a very common problem to have so I hope I can help get some people to voice their experience on this. Like a lot of people I’ve been on the internet since a very young age and that has included my formative years, I have no idea the exact origin but I feel like for a long time I’ve had lustful urges, and expressing them in fantasies when I was younger, and websites and videos recently. I’ve tried to trace this back to conditions such as hyper-sexuality but I’m too guilt ridden and embarrassed to ever say anything to my parents to get a real test. My biggest struggles have been fighting these urges, there have been really good stretches where I was able to not care about it for many months, and bad stretches where I can’t get it out of my head and give in to them. These past two years have been the hardest I’ve ever worked to fight it yet the most I’ve ever given in, at points I can’t enjoy things like hanging out with my friends because of the urges of lust or the guilt of giving into lust previously. Yet my idea of love has always been the exact opposite of what I experience with lust, yet I still worry that with relationships the impact that lust has had on me will destroy them. Ever since my last experience giving into lust I’ve made a plan where if I do give into lust I have a schedule set out for 30 days that consists of removing things in my life I enjoy as a punishment for some days such as simple things like going on TikTok or playing on my PS5, the schedule also consists of physical exercise so I hope that it will give me something else to focus on, the goal is that if I feel the urge to give into lust I will have an actual set thing to make me think otherwise. Lust has destroyed my life, despite my struggles to work against it, it feels inevitable, so this feels like my last hope.
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Points of view
it's tough when you feel like something's taking over your life like that, but it's great you're taking steps to address it; the whole schedule idea sounds smart since it gives you a clear structure and maybe distracts from those thoughts.
man, i really feel for you; dealing with those urges can be so draining. it's awesome that you've got a plan in place though! maybe consider chatting with a therapist or counselor about this? sometimes just talking it out with someone who won’t judge can help take some of the weight off your shoulders. also remember to give yourself a little leeway; everyone slips up now and then, and beating yourself up over it might make things worse 😂 keep pushing forward, buddy!
I can understand where you're coming from. Many people deal with similar issues but not everyone finds a productive way to handle them like you have. However, I wonder if punishing yourself by removing enjoyable activities is the best approach long-term. It might be helpful to find a balance between managing these urges and allowing yourself to enjoy life without guilt.
That's an interesting point about finding balance. Punishment seems harsh.
ever thought about seeking professional help without involving your parents, like seeing a therapist who specializes in these issues?
man, it's like the internet just hands you a firestarter kit for all this. ever heard of dopamine fasting? stripping away pleasures can feel extreme but sometimes an aggressive reset is needed. i swear, tech's rewiring our brains and we’re left picking up the pieces. your tactic with exercise is on point though—endorphins might be just the ticket to offset those invasive thoughts. honestly, you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed or trapped by these cycles; digital exposure has just heightened it for so many people. you're brave for tackling this head-on and reflecting on it all, where a lot would just ignore or drown in shame.
It's understandable to be concerned about lust impacting your life, but I'm not sure punishing yourself is the best strategy. 🤔 Maybe instead of focusing on deprivation, you could try channeling those urges into creative outlets or new hobbies? This might provide a healthier distraction and support long-term change without negative associations.
it's good that you're actively trying to find solutions, but have you considered exploring what healthy expressions of sexuality might look like for you instead of just seeing it as something negative?
yo, honestly this sounds like such a struggle. but man, punishing yourself with that schedule might not be the best move; it could just make things feel worse over time. maybe try focusing on adding positivity instead? find new hobbies or passions to dive into, things that bring genuine joy without any guilt attached; sometimes shifting focus can really help break patterns. and don't beat yourself up too hard about it... it's just part of being human 🤷♂️
I can see you're really struggling here, but your approach to tackling this issue is quite methodical. It’s interesting how you’ve created a self-imposed system of rewards and penalties, like behavioral modification strategies in psychology. Have you thought about tracking any patterns or triggers that lead to these intense urges? Finding the root cause might be beneficial and could provide additional insights for change. I don't think it's uncommon for people to grapple with the effects of early internet exposure, especially if they had unrestricted access during formative years; sometimes just understanding it as a widespread phenomenon can be freeing. Could exploring practices like mindfulness or meditation offer mental space to help manage these thoughts?
Hey, I might be off here, but isn't it kinda natural to have those urges??? Like, not to dismiss what you're feeling or anything, but could it be that you're being a bit too hard on yourself for something that's part of the human experience? 😅 Lust and love can feel worlds apart, yet they're both part of us; maybe finding a way to integrate them rather than seeing them as polar opposites could help. And perhaps there's more to explore in understanding how these feelings fit into your life without letting them dominate everything...
yo, it's rough dealing with urges that feel like they're running the show, i totally hear you 🤔 but maybe instead of focusing on what to cut out as punishment, think more about adding in stuff that's genuinely fulfilling and keeps your mind busy; sometimes mixing up the approach can lead to some surprising changes.
wow i feel u but wouldnt it be better if u talkd 2 someone? like a therapist or smthn coz idk if just takin stuff away when u mess up is rly guna help in the long run. isnt it better 2 understand why this happens 2 u?
also what abt ur friends do they notice anythin when ur feelin guilty or wteva cos i think havin ppl around who get what ur going thru cud help loads.
Navigating those strong feelings can be incredibly challenging, especially when they've been around since childhood. What you're experiencing isn't uncommon and it's amazing how much effort you're putting into dealing with it constructively. Something to consider might be trying mindfulness techniques or meditation because they can help redirect focus and reduce anxiety associated with these urges, providing a sense of peace without feeling like you have to punish yourself. You're doing your best and that’s already a win! 😊
I get the struggle. The internet’s like this endless buffet of things we know might be bad for us, yet we're drawn in. Your battle with lust feels like a power struggle that tech seems to win more often than not; but here's the thing... punishing yourself could just add to the stress. It's like trying to put out a fire by adding fuel: you end up feeling worse. Consider finding new hobbies that keep your mind actively engaged instead of taking away what you enjoy. Like maybe pick up a musical instrument or dive into learning something completely different, I found working with my hands kept me distracted and surprisingly focused on better things.