every day I feel like I'm not smart enough
The story
I study international relations at university, and every day I feel like I'm not smart enough, I feel stupid. It's hard for me to read and understand the material, it's hard for me to learn English (and after all these years of studying it, I still don't fully understand how to use different tenses, etc.), it's hard for me to gain the knowledge that I will need in the future. I can't read and memorize material, I have some kind of concentration problem I don't know, and any noise distracts me. I read the material, but it doesn't stick in my head. I don't know how to write reports properly, I use artificial intelligence and hate myself for it, I want to stop, but I don't know how, I was never taught this, and I don't know how to learn to write them myself. I don't have time for anything. The last time I allowed myself to really relax was in the summer, almost two months ago, because since September I've been completely immersed in my studies. I spend all my time studying, and even so, I get minimal results. I have a group of friends, and for the second year (because I've been studying here for two years), I feel like the dumbest one in our group. I always get lower grades. They have more knowledge, and they study for free because they scored high on the national test, while I failed it, and now my mom has to pay for my education, and I feel guilty about it because I let her down, since she is the only one who earns money. Today we had to pass a document (we had to translate excerpts from the UNESCO Constitution from English into our native language and vice versa). I prepared for this as best I could, considering the amount of other homework I had. I tried very hard, and I was so exhausted that for the last few days I started crying over anything, especially because of fatigue. I thought that I would pass this test today and be able to relax with peace of mind over the weekend, finally letting go a little. But I failed. 7/10, although I really hoped that the teacher would give me an 8,( I don't think I translated that badly). What also upset me was that he said in front of my classmates that he wouldn't give me an 8 because, frankly, I did much worse than Vika (my classmate who doesn't like me very much and we are like rivals). I was so ashamed, I begged him, humiliated myself, asking to retake the exam, take another test and translate, anything, just for an 8. But he said to try my luck next week, on Thursday, with the other part of my group. I left so upset because this had already happened in my first year — I got a 7 and had to retake the exam (I could have stayed with that grade, but I have a perfectionist syndrome kinda, partly because of my family, so I also spent my time then in hysterics over that grade). Then I saw that my friend had written in our friends' chat that she had gotten a 9/10. That broke me. I'm happy for her, really, I just don't understand why I can't be the same. I don't understand why I couldn't get the same satisfactory grade, why I'm doing something wrong, why I'm never good enough, why I always come across as stupid. And I'm sick of how they (my friends) try to convince me otherwise. When they always get everything right. Never once did they needed to retake the exam. And then they tell me that the grade doesn't describe me. I would say the same thing if I had such knowledge, such grades. I don't want to talk to them now, I start crying when I go into the chat and read how great my friend feels now after the exam and how good she feels, how everyone congratulates her on her good grade, when I spent the day crying and thinking why I couldn't do the same. Did I not study enough? I don't get enough sleep because of my studies, I'm not hanging out with my friends (on the internet, we usually got together to watch a movie) because I'm busy studying all day long. And now I not only have to be ashamed next Thursday and retake the exam, but also do piles of homework. There is really a lot of it, every single day, and even several pieces, and now I can't take the burden of this document off my shoulders. I am very tired, in fact, I want to rest, I want to sleep well, I want to enjoy my life, but I can't. I no longer believe that I can achieve anything in life, that this is for me and that I will be successful, I no longer believe in anything. And I don't want anything. I pray to God every day that he would just take me while I'm sleeping, or even not necessarily while I'm sleeping. I just can't take it anymore, and I don't understand how others do it, how they manage. And now, even now, I can't relax, I'm doing my homework, and on the weekend I'll be doing work for the institute. And we don't have vacation until January. I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle this.
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Points of view
Man, that sounds crazy stressful, and I totally get feeling overwhelmed by everything! :-/
it's tough when you put in so much effort and still feel like you’re not measuring up, but remember, everyone’s learning pace is different, and it doesn't define your worth.
I get your point, but i feel so depressed bc i feel like I haven't improved at all in the last two years, and why friends did, so I just feel like an outsider idk.
If you’re leaning on AI to do the work, maybe that’s part of the problem. 🤔 It's convenient, but it’s not teaching you anything. You gotta grapple with this yourself; find ways to genuinely improve your skills rather than rely on a crutch. You’re pouring time into self-pity instead of into solution-finding. Harsh truth, yeah, but it's the reality check you need.
I don't use AI for all subjects, like only for philosophy cuz I really cannot understand it, but yeah I yet your point. It's just hard sometimes to do something after you fail every damn time
yo, it sounds like you're really pushing yourself to the limits, and that's gotta take a toll on you; honestly tho, comparing yourself with others is a surefire way to feel even worse. maybe cut yourself some slack and focus on small wins rather than perfection; like in "The Little Engine That Could," keep telling yourself "I think I can" when times get tough. you could try breaking down your tasks into manageable chunks instead of taking them all on at once. might help ease the stress and give you some breathing room 🙂 don't be too hard on yourself, everyone struggles with something. hang in there!
It appears that you're navigating a challenging phase of your academic journey, and it's understandable to feel overwhelmed by the pressures. However, I wonder if there have been any specific strategies or study techniques you've tried to manage these difficulties?? Sometimes, it helps to break down complex material into smaller segments for better comprehension or even engage in group discussions to solidify understanding. In my own experience, creating a structured schedule with allocated breaks has significantly enhanced both concentration and retention!!! Moreover, while competition can be motivating, perhaps focusing on personal growth rather than comparison could alleviate some stress?? Remember, resilience is built through overcoming adversity; perhaps this is merely one step in building your long-term capabilities.
I get that tackling international relations can be daunting, especially if you feel like you're struggling with the basics. You mention issues with concentration and understanding English—have you considered talking to an academic advisor or seeking tutoring? Sometimes, getting targeted help can make a world of difference; plus, they might have strategies specific to your learning style. Also, maybe think about setting boundaries for yourself; are there small pockets of time where you could recharge without feeling guilty? Your dedication is clear, but don't forget "all work and no play" might just burn you out. What keeps you motivated amidst all this pressure?
dude, you’re really going through the wringer here... but honestly, this sounds like a whole lotta whining over pretty typical student struggs. we’ve all been there – drowning in work and still feeling like an idiot. but you know what??? it's part of the game. maybe stop blaming noise or your friends' success for your issues... and start taking accountability for your own damn life. you're not gonna get anywhere wishing it would be over or praying things change - cuz guess what? everyone’s got their share of crap to deal with, and you're not exempt from that reality! focus on actually learning something instead of moping around about scoring a single point less. just sayin’.
It sounds like you're really overwhelmed right now, and honestly, I think a lot of people can relate to feeling like they're not achieving enough despite putting in so much effort. Have you ever tried looking into different study techniques? Sometimes the trick is finding a method that works better for how your brain processes information, like using active recall or spaced repetition—it might make the material stick more. 🤔 Also, don't underestimate the power of reaching out for extra help from professors; it's part of their job to assist students who are struggling! By the way, what's something specific that's been going well in your studies or life lately?
Whoa, it seems like the whole academic circus is really weighing you down, but maybe it's not just about working harder but smarter, you know?
Dude, I feel you!! It’s like you're trying to juggle a million things with one hand tied behind your back. Ever considered that maybe the system is just kinda broken?? Like, it sounds like you're working your butt off and still not getting where you wanna be. Maybe it's time to shake things up, try some unconventional ways of studying or whatever works for you. Everyone's got their own path!! Remember that movie "Finding Nemo"? Just keep swimming—even if it feels like you’re going against the tide right now!!! Keep going, you'll find your flow.
I feel you, and it's rough feeling like you're stuck in this cycle of stress and self-doubt, but maybe see if there's a different angle to approach your studies?
man, sounds like you’re really in the thick of it with all the studying and pressures from school; I feel for ya. it's not easy when you're trying to juggle so much, especially when others seem to glide through it effortlessly. have you thought about maybe taking a small step back and figuring out what exactly is sticking in your head? or what’s just passing one ear and out the other; sometimes focusing on what you already know can boost your confidence a bit. also, do you think there might be some underlying issues causing these concentration problems? would talking to someone about it make sense for you? 🤷♂️
sounds like you're caught in a vicious cycle of self-doubt and exhaustion, which is brutal; here's the thing though, universities often emphasize performance over understanding, but true international relations expertise isn't just about grades. solidify your foundation with effective communication skills, like clear articulation in essays: could be more valuable than memorizing tenses. maybe consider forming a study group where you can teach each other complex topics; teaching others can really solidify your own understanding 💡 also, don't forget to prioritize mental health along with academics! burnout won't do you any favors in this high-pressure environment!
man, i get that you're feeling overwhelmed.... who wouldn't be with all that pressure??? but you gotta chill a bit; remember, it's not about perfection, it's about progress. everybody's brain works differently, and maybe yours just takes a different path to getting things done!!! ever thought about incorporating some mindfulness or meditation into your routine?? could really help with concentration issues and stress; believe me, taking even 10 minutes can literally change your whole vibe. plus, the fact that you're pushing through it shows you're stronger than you think!! 💪 keep going, you'll look back on this and see how far you've come!
Ever thought about what would happen if you took a step back and examined whether international relations is truly the right path for you?
It truly seems like you're carrying a heavy burden, especially with the comparisons and expectations weighing down on you; however, it's crucial to acknowledge that intelligence isn't solely measured by grades or ease of comprehension. Sometimes, taking a strategic break to recharge can kickstart a more productive mindset and allow you to tackle challenges with renewed vigor. Additionally, reflecting on your personal goals and aligning them with your academic pursuits might help ease some of the pressure and bring a sense of purpose back into your studies. Remember, every small step forward is progress, even if it doesn't always feel monumental.
i hear you, and it sounds like this relentless grind is taking a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. ever thought about the diminishing returns principle? sometimes, working nonstop can lead to burnout, making every extra hour less productive than you’d expect. i remember back in my university days, i was drowning in coursework until i tried scheduling intentional breaks! what's a 15-minute walk or even meditation? as counterintuitive as it seems, stepping away momentarily helped me come back with fresh eyes and better focus. also, consider exploring cognitive behavioral techniques; they might offer strategies to manage stress more effectively without relying solely on grades as a measure of self-worth. when you're caught up in comparing yourself with others (like your friend vika), it's easy to lose sight that everyone operates at their own pace. 🤔
yo, it sounds like you're really caught up in a whirlwind of stress and pressure; believe me, you're not alone. maybe it's worth remembering that everyone learns differently, and sometimes the traditional ways just aren't the best fit for us 🤷♀️. you ever tried connecting the material to something you care about outside of school? could make things click a bit more naturally! also, don't beat yourself up too much for needing help... leaning on AI or any other tools doesn't mean you can't write well, it's all part of adapting and finding what works for you; hang in there!