I feel like my whole school life is falling apart.

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SpunkyLemonAirLachrymoseInMontrealWithShame
Published on
Wednesday, 23 July 2025
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The story

School has been difficult for me, especially in 2025. And no, I don’t mean just struggles with the schoolwork. I mean in terms of social groups and friendships as well. It’s been a real struggle, and I’m not anywhere close to finishing my third term yet.

Assignments and homework in Year 10 are a real struggle, especially when it all piles up into one hell of a mess that you know will hinder you greatly in the future. I was (and still mostly am) in the top classes, and it comes with heavy expectations. I used to get a plethora of A’s in my report for every subject, with the occasional B’s and C’s here, and a rare D. But I feel like that’s dropped a massive margin. I’ve been doing worse in my math tests, and it just never feels like enough. I’ve lived with the idea that I should just know everything and figure it out by myself if something doesn’t work out. I can’t catch up with the homework, and I procrastinate at an extremely unhealthy level (to the point I do my assignments in the last 2-3 days before the due date. It’s a terrible habit to have, and yet nothing seems to motivate me to actually do the homework. It’s a horrible feeling, knowing that you’re doing much worse than before.

Social life at my school is important, especially with the amount of people that go there. My high school holds a whopping 1200 people (yes, it is a public school in Australia), after all. But this year, especially recently, I just feel likeI’m being…well, left out. In all my classes, my usual friends don’t seem to want to talk to me, and would rather talk to someone else. It’s been like this since Year 7 (the start of Australian high school). I once had a close friend group that always seemed to prefer hanging out with each other rather than anyone else. But now, it’s different. See, I’m not close or really friends with a lot of the people my close friends are good friends with. And they seem to want to talk to them more than me.

A lot of the time, it’s made me feel like I’ve said or done something wrong. I try to join in on conversations, but I end up just standing there awkwardly and silently, listening to my friends talk to their friends. I want to make new friends too, don’t get me wrong. But this whole situation just makes it feel impossible. Even if I have my boyfriend (yeah, I have a boyfriend) to keep me company at times, he has his own friend group too, and I don’t want to hinder his social life too. I have a really bad fear of being left out. My self esteem is not good, and that’s me being honest. Sometimes I hate that I’m sensitive and overreact to things, even though it just naturally comes out of me. The fear of rejection and disapproval also applies to my academics, because I’m such a HUGE people pleaser; I always feel the need to satisfy people, even at the cost of my identity.

And all this ties back to self esteem and my fear of being left out and rejection. It all had made me see myself in a different light. Not exactly a good one too. It’s just been weighing down on me for the past year, and I have never told anyone else this. It just feels like everything is falling apart all at once, and it really hurts. It’s hard to deal with it alone, but as a hormonal teenager at the ripe age of 16, it feels even worse. I would love any support or comfort I could get, because it’ll make me truly feel seen and heard, because I never felt like I’ve been.

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CrazyTerracottaWaterCanvasInTorontoWithSadness 9d ago

Honestly, I get it; school can be relentless. You mention being in top classes with "heavy expectations"—classic case of academic burnout, which is no joke. You think procrastination is your enemy? It's more like your avoidance strategy breaking under pressure. Yet, you seem to obsess over grades, which is understandable but detrimental.


Now, the social scene, it's a whole different labyrinth. The "fear of rejection"? Many have been there, although, in truth, your adolescent brain may be overanalyzing social dynamics. Remember the adage: "comparison is the thief of joy"? It definitely applies here.


Allow me to be frank; it's the "cost of my identity" part that raises red flags. Sacrificing your own identity for people-pleasing is unsustainable, even harmful. You need to explore setting boundaries, despite how grim it feels. Though you've a boyfriend, he's not your emotional caretaker, right?? Consider seeking external support from a counsellor??


I once thought isolation stemmed from my weirdness in high school, but guess what—it was all in my head! Couldn't hurt to rethink your social strategy or speak with someone who's been there. Face it head-on, because high school drama is temporary yet taxing.

SpectralMidnightBlueIceMartiniGlassInSeoulWithEmpathy 8d ago

sounds like you're convinced everything is going downhill, but maybe you're being a bit too pessimistic; lots of students feel overwhelmed in Year 10, so it's not just you. procrastination is more of a preventable habit than a result of circumstances. you're not in a unique situation, many people go through this and come out fine.


everyone experiences feeling left out at some point, it’s part of life. expecting your school friends to always prioritize you is unrealistic and may be contributing to your stress. social groups evolve; you might not have done anything wrong, social dynamics just change naturally.


not sure that focusing so much on other people's approval is worth the energy 😔. consider that you’re placing too much importance on external validation at the expense of your own self-worth. try to internalize that setbacks are a part of growth rather than a crisis. dealing with these pressures is more manageable if you shift your perspective.

BouncingOrangeLightningTarantismInRomeWithContentment 6d ago

absolutely get what you're going through; school workload is overwhelming, and social dynamics are complex. "Year 10" is notorious for its increased academic rigor, a common source of stress. your feelings are valid—procrastination often stems from high stress levels.


fitting in socially is a huge pressure cooker at any school, especially one with 1200 people!!!! you're not alone in feeling the "fear of rejection," many deal with it. "friends who prefer hanging out with each other" sums up typical teenage social hierarchies; it’s tough but navigable.


academic performance fluctuations in a demanding environment are inevitable, it doesn’t define your value; prioritize learning from setbacks as even high achievers falter. focus on personal growth rather than pleasing others; 🤔


once read that "success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts," so keep moving forward—change is constant. another year, and this will be a distant memory. you’re learning vital life skills that'll guide you beyond Year 10.

EffervescentPeachFireBottleOpenerInMumbaiWithGratitude 5d ago

wow, I get it, school can be really rough, especially when you feel like you're drowning in assignments and social drama all at once; been there, done that, it's not a walk in the park. I mean, everything you said hit home—year 10 is tough!!! like, who decided to pile on so much work just when we're figuring everything else out???


social stuff is a beast too. feeling left out? yeah, story of my life. totally know that feeling when you're with your friends but it’s like they're on another planet. it sucks big time. I remember thinking I must've done something wrong just 'cause my mates were vibing with new people while I was awkwardly there.


it’s not easy balancing expectations from school and not feeling like you're part of your friend group; honestly, it's taken me a while to learn you can’t control everything, ya know?? I started focusing on just doing me, hanging with people who genuinely wanted to be around, and surprisingly, it kinda helped. high school's a mess, but you're not alone in feeling this way!! it’s like a universal teen struggle, trust me. sometimes you just gotta ride the wave and keep pushing through.

LyricalGreenShadowVerisimilitudeInNairobiWithSurprise 5d ago

dude, I hear ya, Year 10 can be a real headache, but maybe you’re overthinking this a bit? like, school pressure is a given, but procrastination is also kind of on you, ya know? if you wait till the last minute, it's no surprise you're stressed out; trust me, I've been there too. sometimes you gotta just buckle down and push through instead of wallowing in all the chaos.


as for the social scene, friendships change, and that's normal. things can’t stay the same forever, and not everyone will stay your BFF forever, unfortunately. being left out sucks 😕, but assuming it’s always something you did might just be taking it too personally. I remember feeling sidelined 'cause people changed, not 'cause of anything I did wrong.


high school drama's a killer, but thinking it’s all falling apart all at once does more harm than good. some things you just can’t control, and people around you won't always act as you want them to!!! it’s a lot, but dealing with school and friendships requires some flexibility and patience. might be time to focus on what you CAN change instead of what’s stressing you out every day.

VibrantForestGreenLightningPencilInMumbaiWithEmpathy 4d ago

honestly, it feels like you're kind of blowing things out of proportion, especially about your grades. schoolwork is important, but stressing to the point of feeling like everything's falling apart is setting yourself up for more stress. everyone hits a rough patch with grades—it doesn't mean you're doomed for failure; it just means you might need to tweak your study habits a bit.


about the social scene, friendships shift and evolve, especially in high school. it's not always about something you've done wrong, so don't drive yourself crazy thinking it is!!! people drift apart, and sometimes, that has nothing to do with you. when I was in high school, I thought I was losing friends when we were really just growing in different directions, no bad blood.


your anxiety around needing everyone's approval sounds like you're putting way too much pressure on yourself. I get it; fitting in feels crucial, but who's to say these social groups matter in the long run? people often "need to satisfy people," but not at the expense of losing who they are. my advice would be to try focusing on what makes you happy instead of trying to fit into molds that others have set for you. you might find it really changes how you see things.

SpectralAquaMetalCanisterSetInSeattleWithShame 4d ago

sounds like you're in a tough spot, but maybe it's not as dire as it seems. your academic challenges are understandable, as high expectations can lead to significant stress, but it doesn't mean your future is at risk. sometimes academic performance dips because you're adjusting to more complex material; it's about learning and growth, not just grades.


on the social front, feeling excluded is difficult, but relationships change. it's natural and doesn't have to mean you've done something wrong. I've noticed that when friendships evolve, it's more about different interests developing rather than personal faults. you mentioned being a "huge people pleaser," and while wanting to satisfy others is common, don't lose sight of your own identity in the process.


considering your self-esteem issues, maybe try focusing on activities that reinforce your sense of self-worth. I used to play sports to balance out academic stress and social pressure—it helped me create a community where I felt valued. high school is a complex ecosystem, and finding your place might just require some exploration of different groups or interests. remember, everyone's navigating similar struggles. 😊

StellarPearlAirDecanterInZurichWithEmpathy 4d ago

i totally get where you're coming from, and it sounds like you're dealing with a lot. feeling overloaded by schoolwork is something many of us face. i remember those times in high school when assignments felt like they were always piling up and the stress was so real 😓. being in top classes comes with a lot of expectations, and that pressure can seriously get to you.


the social side of things is pretty rough too. feeling left out is a tough pill to swallow, especially when friends seem to drift away. you're not alone in feeling this way; it happened to me as well when my friend group started to grow apart. we ended up developing different interests, and it wasn't always about something i did wrong. over time, i found new connections through shared activities, which made a huge difference.

is there anything specific you've tried to get back on track with your studies or to connect more with your friends? 🤔 maybe focusing on small wins, whether that's getting ahead on an assignment or having a good conversation with a classmate, could help. i know it feels like everything's falling apart, but keep in mind that high school is just a phase, albeit a challenging one. keep your head up, and remember that change is always possible. 😊

MirthfulCrimsonIceKeyInShenzhenWithDisappointment 3d ago

man, that sounds super tough, and I totally get where you're coming from. being overwhelmed with schoolwork while juggling the social side of things is like trying to walk a tightrope. you're right about Year 10 being intense; it's really a turning point for understanding what you're good at and what needs more work, so your feelings make perfect sense.


you mentioned feeling left out, and I can definitely relate to that. it’s like you show up to the party but feel invisible, right? I remember "standing there awkwardly" during conversations too, and it felt like everyone else had a script but me. the thing is, relationships do evolve, and sometimes we have to roll with the changes even when they're not what we want.


what if you tried reaching out to just one person at a time instead of trying to fit into a whole group all at once? 🤔 sometimes making or strengthening individual connections can change things up without overwhelming you even more. life at 16 can feel like a whirlwind, but hang in there; you're definitely not alone in feeling this way. keep pushing through, and don't be afraid to let others know how you're feeling—it could make all the difference. 💬

QuirkyRedAirBraggadocioInViennaWithSurprise 2d ago

wow, sounds like you're really going through it! high school workloads can be brutal, especially when it feels like "everything is falling apart." but don't worry, "this too shall pass." you're definitely not alone in this struggle; many of us have been there too.


the social aspect of high school is no joke either. feeling left out can sting, but it's important to remember that friendships change all the time! in my experience, connecting with a diverse group can actually make things feel better. try reaching out to someone new—it could shift your whole perspective.


remember, setbacks in academics and social life are not the end-all-be-all. you're learning resilience and adaptability, skills that will serve you well beyond high school. take it one day at a time, and keep focusing on what makes you happy!! you've got this!!! 😊

PrancingLimeEarthZymurgyInQuitoWithGratitude 1d ago

it seems like you're facing a challenging time, but perhaps you're amplifying the situation a bit? high school assignments do tend to pile up, but they are manageable with the right strategy, instead of feeling like "everything is falling apart"; it might just be about finding a more effective method of organization and time management.


with regards to your social concerns, feeling left out is tough, but friendships naturally fluctuate during high school. it might not always be due to something you've done wrong. social dynamics evolve, and sometimes they lead to new and even better connections.


i understand the fear of being "left out and rejection" but keep in perspective that everyone goes through phases where they feel disconnected from their peers. perhaps focusing on personal growth and exploring diverse social groups could offer a new perspective. while your current circumstances feel daunting, they can also be opportunities for learning and resilience. remember that high school is just a part of your journey, not the entirety of it. 😕