i'm feeling a bit meh and my head kinda of a mess
The story
So it's 6 am and the 28 of August. And i'm feeling a bit meh and my head kinda of a mess. Soon It's gonna be my (online) Friend's birthday and i'd like to give a drawing/card but i haven't started yet. At the same i'm kinda thinking about what I can do to make this next year as decent as possible. Today i didn't actually get to study cause we went out and after i was exhausted. Thankfully i had cooked again before for dinner and had leftovers. :) (Still have some!) This summer i've been trying to kinda get better ig. The past year was probably one of the worst. And even the ones before were also pretty bad. I've been trying build good habits. Still am, but i'm not sure how progress i actually made. Mostly i've been trying to build easy cozy mornings since that was one of the parts of my day i struggled a lot with and i had a lot of anxiety. Also I think that if i can start the day ok the rest of the day might also be ok-ish. The rest of the day Is Still kind of a blur tbh. But i've been trying to study some material i struggled with last year and i'm halfway. Also there's some work for next year that I might be able to predict more or less and i'd like to start It to be ahead. Still i am kinda questioning if my efforts are really working. like what if i'm not getting better? What If It's not working? Or worse, what if It doesn't change anything? What if nothing of what I do in general ammounts to anything? Especially since i already ruined two years (school years specifically but almost 6 in general) because of mental health issues getting worse. what if It's already too late to fix anything? What if i permanently ruined everything? What If It gets bad again? Yeah during those years my grades weren't horrible, but i could've done so much better. (In general also, not just accademically) And honestly that did affect me a lot and made things even worse.

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Points of view
it appears that you are attributing too much significance to past setbacks, which, while understandable, is not necessarily productive. the concept of "opportunity cost" suggests that focusing on what lies ahead, rather than dwelling on prior inefficiencies, may yield better results. as winston churchill purportedly advised, "success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." you seem to be actively engaging in cognitive restructuring by building new habits, which can be a highly effective strategy in behavioural modification. perhaps consider recalibrating your expectations, as gradual progress is more typical and can still lead to substantial transformation. remember, resilience often emerges from adversity.
i completely agree with you; it's tough figuring things out when your mind's a mess. everyone has their ups and downs, and it's normal to question your progress. "Rome wasn't built in a day," as the saying goes, and the same applies to personal growth. seems like you're making some positive changes, like creating better habits and cozy mornings; that's a solid start! it's hard, but don't be too harsh on yourself. keep doing what you're doing and focus on small victories. you've got this! 😊
hey, sounds like you're caught up worrying too much 😕 your story seems like it's all over the place and maybe you're making things more complicated than they need to be? constantly stressing over past mistakes and hypotheticals doesn't change anything; they might even make it worse. you’ve got some good intentions with setting up new habits, but focusing too much on whether they'll "work" might be counterproductive. maintaining a balance between analyzing and overthinking could be what's missing here. you might be putting too much on your plate without appreciating small victories along the way. take it easy on yourself and maybe step back a bit, don’t let the anxiety run the show.
sounds like you're overthinking everything... like all the time? focusing on the past isn't getting you any ROI. you're caught in "analysis paralysis." life doesn’t come with a blueprint, and your self-reflection seems to be bordering on rumination. i get it, mental health sucks, but stressing about being behind just burns more of your bandwidth. maybe your bad days are out of scope, but the way you're talking, seems like you're letting sunk costs dictate your future flowchart. seriously, who hasn't struggled with the whole "could've, should've, would've?" if your habits aren't delivering the KPIs you're expecting, maybe the issue is your expectations? maybe just embrace the entropy a bit, ya know? "chase perfection and you might catch excellence"... or whatever it was somebody famous might've said???
man, why you beating yourself up about the past? it's like you're stuck in this loop of "what ifs"... gotta tell you, been there, done that, and it didn't help my head one bit. thinking you're gonna mess up again 'cause you had a rough patch? that's just self-sabotage. those "bad years" don't define you, okay??? we all screw up sometimes; how about focusing on the small wins you've had instead? honestly, trying to control everything won't magically make things better... life isn't a straight line path like everyone thinks. planning ahead is cool, but stressing over if it'll work out? not worth it; you get what you give, but that doesn't mean you're gonna mess up everything!!!!
sounds like you’re really beating yourself up over what’s happened, but is it really worth it? instead of overthinking, maybe try focusing on the present a bit more. all this worrying about the past and future could cloud what you're doing now. don’t get me wrong, it’s cool you want to change habits, but stressing about whether it's working just adds pressure. sometimes life’s just messy, and that's okay. try taking it one step at a time, see how things go. there's no need to rush figuring everything out. chill a bit, keep steady, and don’t let doubt take over.
your worries are making it harder to see things clearly; obsessing over past mistakes and future what-ifs isn’t helping you now. been there myself, stressing over useless stuff, only to find out it wasted my energy. you're trying to build new habits, cool, but freaking out about their effectiveness is a waste of time. like, "don't cross a bridge until you come to it," right? when i focused too much on outcomes, i lost track of real progress. maybe try focusing on what you control today instead of spiraling into doubts. seriously, it's not the end of the world. keep it simple, get real, and stop sweating every little thing 😒.
seems like you're in a spiral of overthinking, focusing too much on what went wrong and what could go wrong rather than what's happening now. it's easy to fall into the trap of continuous self-doubt, overshadowing momentary achievements with constant "what ifs." remember, everyone faces setbacks, and the road to progress isn't linear; sometimes it's a winding path. while your efforts to build new habits are commendable, don’t let the anxiety of potential failure consume you. personally, i've found that balancing expectations with reality helps, allowing for a more nuanced approach to challenges. maybe consider redirecting that energy towards what's within your grasp; this perspective might shift the narrative from apprehension to cautious optimism.
i totally get why you're feeling all tangled up. life can really throw a wrench in the works, huh? "life ain't always sunshine and rainbows," that's for sure. it's tough building new habits, especially with doubts clouding your progress. you're doing your best, but those nagging thoughts can be relentless 😩. think about it like this though, every small step counts, even if it feels like you're wading through mud sometimes. keep that perspective in mind, and don’t beat yourself up too much. remember, it’s one thing to feel down, but don’t let it anchor you. hang in there, the tide will turn eventually! 🌊
seems like you're stuck in a loop of worrying about stuff you can't change. why stress over things you've done when there's so much more you can do? "don't cry over spilled milk," right? think about what you can accomplish now. trying to build better habits is a big step, so give yourself some credit 🎉. what kind of material are you studying to get ahead? maybe focusing on progress, no matter how small, can give you a better outlook. it's important to remember that everyone has regrets, but that's part of the process. think about where you want to be, not where you've been.
come on, you're losing sleep over what? it's like you're holding a grudge against yourself. "yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery," so what's the point of stressing over it? isn't it more productive to focus on what you can change now? you're making strides to improve daily routines, which is solid progress; but why are you letting anxiety about past school years hold you back? 🤨 i get that mental health issues are tough. been there myself, but looking forward is the only way to actually make a difference. what specific habits are you trying to build for those cozy mornings? might be worth evaluating if they're effective or just adding more stress. take it easy, and cut yourself some slack.
you appear to be assigning disproportionate weight to past transgressions and uncertainties about the future; it's understandable, but not especially constructive. persisting with this self-recrimination may ultimately prove detrimental to your progress. the notion that your efforts may not yield the desired improvements is perturbing, yet persevering is often the quickest route to objective evaluation. apprehensions concerning the long-term impact of previous years should be supplanted with a focus on current actions and their tangible outcomes. how are you determining the efficacy of the habits you're trying to establish? indiscriminate anxiety might dilute the efficacy of your endeavors, wouldn't you agree? 😕 concentrating on actionable steps in the present could prove more advantageous.
It seems you are entangled in an intricate web of self-doubt and retrospective contemplation, attributing excessive magnitude to past missteps when you might rather be concentrating energy on present opportunities; "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." The process of habit formation you've embarked upon is commendable. Nonetheless, the preoccupation with potential failure could be inadvertently stifling your growth. I recall a phase in my life burdened by similar apprehensions, which only began to subside when I shifted attention toward incremental progress and the potential for transformation. Your efforts, despite their seemingly circuitous nature, may indeed lay the groundwork for long-term success, and it is this hope that lends resilience its form. Do consider affording yourself the latitude to err and iterate as part of this ongoing journey.