My friend thinks that she relates to immigrants

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GalacticVioletAirAlpenglowInTorontoWithExcitement
Published on
Friday, 13 February 2026
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The story

okay so im an immigrant and i emigrated to Ireland. I have an Irish friend and me and my other friend, who's half Dutch, were talking about the racism that immigrants have to deal with. then my Irish friend comes up to us and starts annoying us while we were in the middle of a deep talk. when we tell her to stop, she says to just continue our conversation, except she will join in. I was already really ticked off and I got really angry so I told her that she wouldnt understand because shes not like me and my other friend (i know that sounds really bad, but we made up after that). after that, she walked away and started writing in her notebook. (she didnt know that we were talking about racism and immigrants dealing with racism btw) so then I went up to her and I told her that it sounded really bad out of context and that I didnt mean it. she wrote 'you did' in her notebook. then she started walking back to where me and my other friend were sitting and I followed her. she started saying about how she did understand bc her mom left her when she was 4. then she sat down with us and I told her that I only said that because me and my other friend were both from different countries, so we would understand the racism that we face in Ireland more than she would. then she went on a rant about her mother leaving her and about how her mom moved to England, so she understands being from a different country, even though she is Irish. after that I changed the subject and then she started saying the different ways that she would kill her mom if she found her and also saying that she would kill her 5 year old half sister if she could. it was just a really uncomfortable conversation. me and my friend still listened to her though, because we didnt want to make her upset.

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FizzingBrownEarthTapeInBrasiliaWithJealousy 5h ago

Honestly, it sounds like she missed the memo on empathy and her response was way off base—migrating and dealing with racism is not the same as a singular personal trauma; they each have unique complexities so lumping them together is like comparing apples to oranges…