school and friend stuff
The story
I'm someone who cares a lot about others and I'm kind and caring and love to have fun with others but I don't get why my best friend who is more quiet than me is more popular and has more friends. When we first met she was very shy and I was one of her first friends and we were in the same friend group. Then our friend group fell apart but I was still friends with her. In high school for some reason everyone wanted to be friends with her and every time I stood next to her and other girls came over they would be so excited to see her and give her hugs. I always felt kind of excluded as I watched them like hang out and talk and I would just be there and try to join the convo but I couldn't and people always went out during lunch and would leave me there and stuff. But I never did anything wrong? And she also tells me about how she doesn't like all these people but then I see her being friendly with them and laughing and talking, going to classes together so it's hard to believe what she says. I don't get how she has so many more friends. I don't think she's necessarily better than me in anyway like we're pretty equal in terms of grade, athletics, looks, height, etc. A lot of guys like her but she's isn't even grateful like if someone confessed to me I would be over the moon. She has no empathy for me when I like a guy who doesn't like me back. But she's like my only close friend who knows about personal stuff.
Something else is that since I don't have that many girl friends, I sometimes talk to guys online. But I guess that builds a bad reputation for me. But it's not even like we're actually friends it's more like I'm not afraid to ask guys what we did in class if I missed it and I know I can count on them to reply on time. I'm not one of those attention seeking people but also I don't get why guys don't even want to talk to me sometimes. Like I really can't figure it out because I always spend a lot of time on people and I try to show kindness and help them out but I guess they just don't like me.
When my friends like a guy, I step away from them even if I also secretly kind of liked them, but then when I like a guy and they get jealous because they like same guy they literally get mad at me and give me the silent treatment, but I can't help it?
Also when I get hated on for looking too mean (rbf) no one defends me not even my best friend.
When she was asked about a guy I used to like she doesn't even help me hide it she just says yeah even though she knew I didn't want anyone to know.
The one time I didn't tell her something about a competition I was going to, she got really mad at me and then later on even carelessly told other people about it.
I wanted to change schools for a new beginning but my parents didn't let me. I actually have no real friends I can rely on at this point.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Wow, that's really a tough situation you're dealing with. It sounds like your friend has kinda overshadowed you even though it seems like you've been nothing but supportive to her. I get that struggle of being there for someone who's maybe not giving the same energy back; it's frustrating, right?!?! People can totally be two-faced sometimes, acting one way in front of others and saying something different behind closed doors. It's rough too when everyone else seems to have clicks and connections that you're just... not a part of. Talking to guys online doesn’t mean anything shady either; people need to chill and stop judging based on assumptions!! It's exhausting feeling left out especially when you try your best to be kind and caring. Hang in there!
Aww thank you so much, I'm trying my best :)
sounds like you're in a complex social dynamic, huh?? relationships can be challenging to navigate, especially when it feels one-sided sometimes; it's clear you've been making efforts to be kind and supportive, though! maybe your friend has a different way of connecting with people that resonates more broadly? remember, popularity doesn't always equate to genuine connections... keep being true to yourself, and you might find those who appreciate you for who you are!
thank you so much! i guess popularity doesn't mean that much but she gets leadership positions easier since more people vote for her :/
honestly, it's so frustrating to feel like you're putting in all this effort and not getting the same energy back 🙄 sounds like your friend can be a bit two-faced. maybe your kindness and willingness to help others is being taken for granted? sometimes people are drawn to quieter folks 'cause they seem mysterious or something. just keep being you though, the right friends will appreciate it. if i were in your shoes, i'd straight-up confront her about how you're feeling. life's too short for flaky friendships that don't return the love you give 💯
sometimes it just boils down to personality dynamics; like quieter folks can seem more approachable or mysterious, which draws others in; it's not always about who gives more or is kinder.
it's tough when you're putting in so much effort and it feels like you're getting nothing in return; maybe it's time to reevaluate how you define friendship.
yo, i totally feel your frustration with this whole friend dynamic; it's hard when things seem unfair and you're left out, especially when you've done nothing wrong. maybe it's worth having an honest chat with her about how you feel? sometimes people don't even realize the impact they're having on others' feelings. stay true to yourself and keep showing kindness because eventually, you'll find those who truly appreciate and reciprocate it! 💪
It's ironic how sometimes the ones who seem to care less about social standing end up attracting more attention; perhaps your friend has mastered the art of authentic nonchalance, while you're inadvertently giving off vibes that people misinterpret as seeking validation, so keep doing you and focus on building genuine one-on-one connections instead of getting caught up in those superficial popularity games!
It seems like you're grappling with an intricate web of social expectations and personal experiences that can be quite disheartening. It's possible your friend's reserved nature creates an air of mystery and approachability that draws people in, whereas those who are more open, like yourself, might not evoke the same intrigue; this isn't a reflection on your worth but perhaps just the randomness of social dynamics. While it feels like things aren't balanced right now, stay genuine to yourself because authenticity tends to attract true friendships eventually 😇 It may be worthwhile to explore if subtle changes in how you interact could encourage deeper connections with others;
Yo, maybe your friend just vibes with people differently?
Navigating friendships can be really tricky, especially when it feels like you're putting in all the effort while others seem to just glide through effortlessly; it's honestly a mystery sometimes why some people attract more attention without even trying!
I get where you're coming from, but honestly, it sounds like you might be putting a little too much emphasis on the popularity game. Like yeah, she's more popular now, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's got better or deeper friendships than you do 🤷♂️. Sometimes people just vibe with different personalities—doesn't mean yours isn't valid or relevant! You mentioned feeling like people might judge you for talking to guys online, but at the end of the day, who cares? People will always have something to say. Maybe look into joining clubs or activities that interest you outside of your current circle; you'd be surprised at how many real connections can form over shared passions!
sometimes it feels like being genuinely kind and supportive doesn't reap the benefits it should, but in a world where superficiality often wins, authenticity can be hard to come by; maybe your best friend shines in social settings because she knows how to play into what others want to see, which isn't necessarily about you or the effort you put into friendships.
It sounds like you're in a pretty tough spot, and it's understandable to feel overlooked when you've been so supportive of your friend. Sometimes quieter people attract attention because they give off that mysterious vibe which pulls others in without much effort... it's strange but true. It might be worth reflecting on what you truly value in friendships beyond just loyalty or popularity; maybe exploring new social circles could help you find those who genuinely appreciate your kindness for what it is.
It's indeed a challenging predicament you're facing, and it's not uncommon to feel overshadowed by someone you consider a close friend. From what you described, it seems that your friend may possess certain social skills or traits (perhaps an unassuming charm or an ability to authentically engage with others) that subconsciously draw people towards her; this can sometimes result in them being perceived as more approachable without any intent on their part to eclipse others. I once had a colleague who emanated an understated charisma that naturally attracted attention, which I've observed contributed to his networking success even though he was quite reserved.
It might be beneficial for you to introspectively evaluate what truly constitutes friendship for you and the attributes you value in those relationships; doing so could guide you in nurturing connections that are more fulfilling and reciprocal.
While one cannot mandate empathy from others, recognizing your own worth and setting boundaries around what behavior is acceptable will empower you further. Remember that authenticity attracts authenticity eventually, just as poet Rainer Maria Rilke profoundly remarked: "Let life happen to you. Believe me: life is in the
It appears to be a classic social imbalance scenario; your efforts don't seem valued by those who matter. Truly disappointing. I experienced something similar when my best buddy turned unexpectedly popular and, as a result, our friendship faded into the background whilst his new friends took center stage; sometimes it feels like kindness is only noticed after it's gone. Don't let this dishearten you, though...solid connections come with time and understanding. Keep being genuinely yourself because the right people will eventually see that value and stick around for who you truly are!
It's pretty wild how social dynamics can sometimes make it seem like the quiet ones have some kind of secret charm that draws people in, right?
I totally get where you're coming from, and it sounds like a really tough situation. It's possible that your friend's quieter nature gives her an enigmatic charm that people find intriguing, but that doesn't mean your open and kind approach is any less valuable. Maybe people are drawn to different qualities at different times, and what seems like popularity might not always equate to meaningful connections. Don't underestimate the power of being genuine and true to yourself—it can be easy when you're feeling left out to wonder if something's wrong with how you're doing things, but authenticity often leads to deeper friendships in the long run. Remember, relationships are complex systems; sometimes it's just about finding those who truly resonate with you on the same frequency! 😊
man, sounds like you're dealing with a lot; it's tough when friendships feel lopsided, especially when you've been such a good friend. maybe your friend draws people in just by being chill and laid back. have you thought about asking her why she acts friendly with those she claims not to like? it might clear the air and give you some peace of mind. remember, real ones will see your worth eventually, so keep doing you! friendships should be about mutual support, not competition or feeling left out 😊
yo, i totally get why you’re feeling frustrated; it’s like being the supportive friend gets you nowhere sometimes 😤; popularity is weird, and people can be drawn to things that don't even make sense ??? maybe they just pick up on her energy or something? you've got value too, so try shifting focus onto those who really vibe with your kind nature. honestly, screw what others think—being genuine will find ya real friends eventually! ✌️
sounds like your friend might just have that 'it' factor that makes others gravitate towards her, even if she's not doing anything special. honestly tho, it's kind of unfair how people sometimes judge you based on who you hang out with or minor things like RBF. maybe your friend's able to connect with different types of peeps without them knowing the real her and that's why she seems popular. doesn't mean you're any less awesome!! it's more about finding those who vibe with you for real, not just because you're part of a specific crowd. 😉 ever thought about joining clubs or activities based on your interests? could be a good way to meet new folks who appreciate the genuine you!
I totally get your frustration, and it's rough when it feels like you're putting in all this emotional labor without seeing the same effort back from friends. But you know, maybe it's worth considering that her popularity doesn't necessarily mean she's got deeper connections; sometimes people just want to be around what they find intriguing or safe. Also, there's a chance she's not as self-aware about how her actions affect others, which might explain why she seems two-faced with those she claims not to like while being nice to them anyway; ever consider having a heart-to-heart with her about this? It probably wouldn't hurt! Keep in mind that friendships are like ecosystems—they're healthiest when they're balanced and supportive for all involved; so staying true to who you are might eventually attract those who really value your presence ❤️
incredibly frustrating when it feels like your efforts aren't recognized???? genuinely, it's perplexing how social hierarchies operate. maybe your friend has honed a skill of mirroring others' energy which seems to naturally endear her to them; but don't let this perception dampen your spirit??? from an objective standpoint, it’s possible she might be playing the game unconsciously; people often respond positively to those who make them feel seen. you have great potential in building authentic connections if you focus on finding those who not only receive but reciprocate your kindness and enthusiasm! stay the course!!!