In a few weeks it's gonna be my final exams of 8th grade. Let me tell you, don't try to change me. I'm in the firm belief I'm fundamentally stupid. Last unit, which was Unit 2, I scored a 25/60 in maths and 22/60 in Hindi, and somehow my family got more mad at the fact I called myself stupid than the fact I failed. I scored that low, and I'm lucky it wasn't the last exam or else I would've been held back a year, since I also did pathetic in Science at 45.5 in which I should've scored higher since I'm good at science, I got 43/60 in Social Studies, 51/60 in English, but I failed. They got more angry I said I was stupid, I was! I'm dumb for trusting the math teacher to start on the hardest questions like she said. And mom said the weirdest thing, she asked how can I improve if I call myself a failure or stupid. I was, for even when I studied hard I forgot and I took too long to answer, because I'm slow like a slug and stupid. And if I fail this unit now, I'm gonna be held back. The maths teacher keeps threatening the class about it as a real thing. And I will fail because I'm fundamentally stupid. I don't feel like studying, and that's fine, because stupid people don't deserve privilege, just slog. If I succeed this exam, or at least score a decent 60-70% than last time in maths and half in Hindi, I'm cursed. What I'm saying is that means for every Unit 2 exam, I suck the worst. That happened in 7th, it happened in Unit 2 of 8th, and this is the final third one, and if I do slightly better, I'm cursed. I normally score decent in Unite 1, but I'm praying at least in math I score well, because screw Hindi, even my parents gave up the language for me cus they now why I struggle even with tuitions, it's too hard, even for them!

Now, you might say, "Make your own timetable!" or "Maybe practice time management", shut up! Shut up you fucking ugly bitches! I'll fail my own timed 3 hour exam, or even revision sheets timed, I'll fail at math which is one of the main subjects I need to pass to go ahead, and plus, one guy got held back and he's in 7th grade going to 8th when he should be going to 9th now like me. I'll be held back as well. My teacher may say in 9th she can shift Hindi to art, but it's impossible, in CBSE, you just can't. It would make my cosplay event not worth it then. Imagine how many other people failed that I'm not aware of, that got held back with no friends which is why I didn't know, that lost every opportunity to succeed because of this. I'll be one of them if I act too cocky and tell myself, "I can do this". I simply can't. Convince me and I'll find you, kill you, and bury your body in the ocean where nobody can find you. And in CBSE, no way they'd retake exams from 8th-9th. Why would they retake exams? I've not heard of that. You can't do that. You can't do that in CBSE. It's too much coddling, anyways.

To those who know JJBA, I'm dumb enough for someone like Fugo to crash out and go fucking batshit crazy. Seriously, Narancia sucks even worse than me at maths, and Fugo stabs him with a fork in Golden Wind. I'm sorry, what?! I know Golden Wind is freaky or weird as fuck, but nah, I need those high standards to pass. In fact, since I'm planning to dress up as Joseph Joestar for an event a month after my exams in March, Joseph won't look at me and won't call me dumb because he is dumb, but Caesar Zeppeli would and he'd also become an angry Italian like Fugo. Admit it, he hates stupid people! He's a hotheaded man who's strong, what I'm not. I'm stupid, see? I'm no good at cosplaying either, it's my first time. So the best thing is to just give up, maybe leave school, convince my family I can be homeschooled somehow, or just die since I'm too stupid to be alive. They won't give second chances, not anymore. This is my last dance, my final act before promotion, and until then, I won't pick my ass up if I convince myself I can do this. I can't. Impossible stays impossible. Those who believe in change are the retarded fags themselves. Fucking hell, just anyone, give me any 3 GOOD WAYS to just die, if I decide I'm worthless to everyone, my family, my brother, everyone, I won't miss them because they won't miss me. They'll move on. I still fail to understand why they get more mad when I call myself stupid when the truth is is bold letters...

I'M FUCKING STUPID AND AN UGLY BITCH WHORE OF A DAUGHTER YOU LITTLE SHITS

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