I Feel Like I'm in Another Group—and It's Completely Different
The story
[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]
I feel terrified of going outside and being completely judged for it. I don’t like talking, I don’t like expressing myself. I don’t even feel capable of being with a girl. I don’t want to be with one. I feel like I’ve become a mess of ideas—so many ideas. Like I’m shedding layers of myself.
I feel like I’m not okay—but also that I am. I feel like I’ve been in a transformation process for a long time now. Like I’m moving toward my true self, peeling off old layers of experiences. I used to think I had matured, but really, I had just kept layering one cover over another. I don’t know how else to explain it.
It feels like I’ve been unfolding my form. This has been happening for quite some time. I think it’s because I finally feel whole in a new group. Yes, I feel like I belong—with a girl, specifically—and I love that feeling. It’s been going on for a while now, I repeat. She’s not physically present, but the way we are keeps the group alive. I don’t feel the need to be with anyone else. Being distant from her makes me feel her presence even more. I feel like I can be alone—but still in her company—and it’s truly amazing.
My parents didn’t understand this, but personally, I don’t care. The process is happening either way. These are the catharses I’m experiencing. I don’t feel like there’s anyone else out there waiting for me—and I don’t need them. I feel like my life is on track, and I can live the way I like. In this group, I feel that’s respected—and it’s fantastic. I’ve committed to pursuing a career, and I rely only on the approval of the principles this group shares.
Looking back, all that time I supposedly "got sick" or "went through somatic suffering"—I think I was really just trying to re-locate myself within this group and within the system that surrounds us. It’s like saying: I’m done with the old societal structure, with the weight of those layers. Here, in this group, we are free. Again, I don’t feel I need anyone else.
These catharses—what I say—are just to release things. I speak things about myself, but they’re temporary. It’s like I’m passing through them. I think I’m heading toward something, but I realize I only needed to shed that layer—to see that I never really wanted that thing. I don’t know, but I feel like this process I’m going through isn’t something many people experience—maybe no one. It’s about leaving behind all the groups you once belonged to. You feel like you belong to just one now, and all the others are just places you visit occasionally.
I feel like I’ve always been okay. I was never truly unwell. I just needed—without realizing it and even fooling myself—to reposition myself within society. Now I understand all the disappointment I’ve felt. I thought I wanted to be with a girl—and it turns out I don’t. Especially not one outside my group. I feel more distant from her. I don’t know what to do with those feelings I had for her. Whether she’s around or not makes no difference—same goes for her mother.
Life is happening. Nothing feels the same anymore. No one believed me—and I didn’t even need them to. I thought I had forgotten about this group. Maybe I did. But I now realize it was a version of it where she, the girl from my group, was someone who abandoned me and hurt me. And now she’s not. Being in this group makes her devoted and respectful—and I love that. Before, I felt like she was spiraling toward a nightmare that could’ve even ended her life—God forbid—with something as terrible as a knife. I hope I was wrong.
I don’t know what comes next for my life. I’ve never faced something like this. It’s all been about letting myself be carried by the current—and that’s it. Like I entered a kind of crisis only to come out the other side, finally shining. I don’t know if I wish things had been different. Probably not. I feel like I’m in a much better place now, where I’m allowed to bloom on my own terms. I didn’t feel that before. This group is about feelings, not about upholding painful old paradigms—a bitter photo album that, in my opinion, is always ugly.
It’s amazing how that other girl—the different one—has become almost a ghost to me. Hearing her mother’s distant voice, feeling how, as I got closer to them, they faded further away… it was indescribable. Psychologically, despite the distance, I feel closer to the girl in my group. And I think that’s the whole point. Because with her, I sense a real structure—something genuine. Not like in my family, where all they focused on was finding flaws. That was bitter through and through.
I feel like I’m in paradise—even though I’m still in the same house, in the same place. The people around me might be nearby physically, but they can’t really reach me. I’m a stranger to them now. Just like she, the girl in my group, is a stranger to her environment. In fact, she was already acting that way the last time I saw her in person. It’s clear now: her spirit was already with me—expressed in the way I feel so deeply supported by her.
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Points of view
hey there, I see where you're coming from, and your journey of peeling back all those layers is relatable. seems like you're in a transformative process, which can be both exciting and overwhelming. I get the part about distancing yourself from old societal structures—I did something similar when I switched careers; felt like shedding an old skin.
but I gotta say, relying too much on a group or one person, even if they seem to offer a supportive bandwidth, can be tricky. putting all your eggs in one basket might limit your growth. you don't wanna end up in an echo chamber where you only hear what comforts you, right?
sure, it’s great to find a niche where you feel supported, but diversity in connections and experiences is important too. balancing personal identity with group dynamics can be challenging. I've been there, questioning who I was outside of a stable framework. maybe consider exploring other areas while holding onto what makes you feel at home.
just my two cents—keep doing what feels right, but maybe with a sprinkle of caution. 🌱
hey, I get the whole transformation thing you're talking about, but I kinda feel you're putting all your energy into one basket. it’s awesome you're finding yourself through this group and feelin' whole, but remember that life’s all about balance. when you said, "I feel terrified of going outside and being completely judged for it," I think everyone feels that way sometimes;
it's important to lean on different perspectives to keep things interesting and full of growth. chasing after this one connection seems a tad limiting. feeling "like I’ve been in a transformation process for a long time now" is a solid starting point, but it might be worth looking around a bit too.
maybe consider spreading your wings and exploring a little outside your comfort zone. life’s too short to not embrace all kinds of experiences. you've got the right ideas, just don't narrow your path too much. keep your head up and stay open to new experiences! 🌟
hey, I totally get your journey of transformation and peeling away layers. it’s like recalibrating your operating system to match your core values. I’ve gone through a similar reboot in my life when I had to leave an old job and find a new path. that feeling of being in a "transformation process for a long time now" really resonates.
completely agree with your decision to step away from societal norms that don't serve you; however, it’s crucial to not anchor yourself solely to one group or person as that could potentially limit your bandwidth for growth. redundancy in social networks can be beneficial, kinda like having a backup when your primary accelerates too fast.
I admire your focus on a supportive group, but diversifying your emotional portfolio might bring unforeseen stability. I’ve found that life’s journey is less about singular devotion and more about the dynamic equilibrium of multiple connections. keep evolving and make sure you’ve got a varied team lineup in your corner. 🚀
dude, I totally vibe with your journey of shedding layers and finding your true self. feels like you’re finally ditching all that pointless societal baggage. when you said, "I feel like I’m not okay—but also that I am," that really hit home. it’s all part of the growth process, right?
but seriously, don’t overthink it. seems like you’re hella focused on that group, which is cool, but remember to keep some variety in your life; don't want to end up in a bubble, missing out on other perspectives. keep an eye out for other opportunities to connect. more options equal more possibilities.
so, keep up the good work on finding your tribe and doing you. it’s all about that balance and opening up to what else is out there. life's too short to lock yourself into just one setup. keep pushing forward and embracing the change! 🌟
reading through your story, I find myself resonating deeply with the journey of peeling away what doesn't serve you anymore. feels like you're unearthing your authentic self, which is no small feat. the statement, "I feel terrified of going outside and being completely judged for it," speaks volumes, and it's something many of us grapple with on the regular.
honestly, though, I can't help but wonder if anchoring yourself to one group might create limitations? it's great to find your tribe, but life has a way of throwing unexpected challenges, and having a diverse support system can be vital;
I once got too comfortable in a particular group, and looking back, I wish I'd diversified my social circle earlier. it seemed stable at the time, but the safety net wasn't as strong as I’d thought. maybe think about spreading your wings a bit, exploring new interactions that could strengthen your journey?
your transformation seems well on track, but a touch of caution might enhance your path. life's unpredictable, isn’t it??? keep pursuing that balance, and you'll be all the better for it! 🌱
man, I gotta say, I totally get you. that whole shedding layers thing is real, like peeling an onion 🧅 and finally getting to the core. when you said, "I feel like I’m moving toward my true self," that's spot on. it's like finally ditching all the crap society piles on you.
honestly, I've been there too! locking myself away to figure things out without nosy people getting in my biz. feels like you're a freaking phoenix, rising from the ashes—unleashing the real you. gotta love that sense of belonging you found! makes the grind worth it.
keep pushing through, coz being true to yourself is what matters. screw what everyone else thinks; just do you, man. keep smashing those barriers and living your best life! 🌟✌️