I panicked a bit for myself and others in Abu Dhabi because apparently a bomb was dropped there, as well as to Saudi, Kuwait, Qatar and all GCC countries except Oman, and the place the missile was gonna hit was the Al Dhafra Air Base, which is a 30 minute drive from the ADNEC, which is where the MEFCC will take place on April. As of now, only 1 person is recorded to be dead, because the missile got intercepted but debris fell around the area. I was panicking a bit because I didn't want my event to get cancelled from this and for the people who live in Abu Dhabi as well, but yeah, 1 person here is still kinda bad and I hope no more people died and damage was very less. Also I think some countries like Bahrain, Kuwait and maybe Saudi Arabia also intercepted, but I'm not too sure. Plus, one of my dad's colleagues in Abu Dhabi reported he heard loud noises and told him about it. And this crap happened after my birthday. Seriously? I'm glad it didn't attack here because I'd be dead, my family would be dead, and that's bad, and even in Abu Dhabi with 1 guy it's still bad. Why does Iran wanna attack all GCC nations, except Oman (why?), and why does USA also wanna escalate wars and all that? Sometimes they gotta accept they can't fix everything. They couldn't fix the Vietnam War, and even in the final act of 1945, they killed way more people than expected, and created a new evil that people can misuse in the future, the atomic bomb, which if Trump or any other country he's fighting with gets too cocky, it could be dropped. I don't want my home to be in war! I wanna dress up as Joseph and do well in exams to make it better and maybe make my year of being 14 better, not whatever this is!

Worse news, it hit Dubai. It didn't hit my home or near Bur Dubai, but it hit City Walk a few km away from my home, near Burj Khalifa. It hit JLT, and it hit near Jebel Ali. It wasn't missiles, they were drone planes, and I'm even more nervous. For my life outside and how my exams will go in school due to this. Even worse, in Kuwait, their airport is DESTROYED. Dad says we may have to do school, work and all that at home for a bit, and my mom says hopefully we recover fast enough to continue normally with no issues for a while, I complete my exams and pass, and I go have a week-long break and have fun in April with no bombs. I don't know anymore, and again, why all this after my birthday!?? There are videos. What did UAE even do with Iran, Israel and USA? We're such a small country! Oh man, I wanna be a kid, and already with my (probably) anxious neurodivergent mind, this made it worse.

Because of the stuff that happened in UAE and because of the fact when trying to draw like Hirohiko Araki, since I love his style so much, I end up making very very slow progress, I drew a picture of Egon napping while hugging Slimer, because 2 years ago, I was in my RGB era, and I drew the boys, Janine and the proton packs so much I kinda mastered the style to be close enough to be tolerated (anyways RGB's art style keeps changing across EPISODES, not even across parts like JJBA and that's an intentional choice), and Egon was (and is) my favorite buster, so naturally, it felt to draw him after a while. Seriously, in my previous sketchbooks, he's there in A LOT of art. Even though RGB does have a semi-realistic style, compared to JJBA, it's way simpler.

The UAE now gave a mail that we gotta be careful and school is from home from March 2-4. So exams are delayed...Man what am I gonna do now? How do I go to tuitions? How are my exams gonna be affected? I legit had to sleep in the same bed as my parents with my brother as well, because the alert gave it that and we all instinctively agreed to do so. I'm fine now, but eh, sleeping with family isn't so bad. Sleeping with my brother in the same bed...DON'T. This man kicks me every time, and when we were younger, I had insomnia because of this turd. Good thing sleeping next to mom is fine. And now we anyways sleep on separate beds, so my brother can kick the wind instead of me. I have 3 days off from school, or at least online-learning. Do I study from home and not join meetings, because we're anyways revising. Also, still, we need to talk about the bigger elephant in the room, HINDI. Oh man, I have to do answers, lots of grammar, paragraph writing, letter writing, picture writing, and a full unseen passage. This sucks even more because I hate Hindi, I feel awkward speaking it because it's more broken than asbestos wool, and it's difficult to understand. Man, even my parents think this is more difficult than when they learnt it 30 years ago, bruh. Good thing in 9th grade I'm not doing it, but with everything else I'm worried about plans changing. I'm worried about the situation, the whole missile and drone issue, seriously today when we went grocery-shopping, less people were there, and in nearby restaurants they were empty. My home could be in war soon.

I'm losing more hope. More drones and debris are falling everywhere, and dad jokes and even suggested that we go to India and stay for A FEW MONTHS when the flights open, and now I'm starting to think 9th grade, MEFCC, going out, it's not gonna happen. My home will burn down, I'll study in India forever, my figurine collection would be useless now, there was no point for even buying the boots for Joseph, and there's no point studying. Screw passing exams, I'm probably not even gonna live. My friends are hearing bombs outside, people are leaving here. Who knew I'd only live till 14? Screw the people who told me the world ending isn't impossible, it is! Come on, studying won't fix anything. Being alive won't fix anything. I didn't expect this after my birthday and yet this happened. I hate others who say my "negative thinking" is bad, when really it's my sixth sense. I knew I should've planned to figure out how to destroy everything I loved a year back. Look at everything. My dad said MEFCC won't even happen and that it doesn't exist. What if it's a construct of my mind back in January to make me happy? We as humans make things in our head that seems real, it's called a Placebo Effect. Freud's Id, if you will. The principle the brain wants instant gratification of selfish desires, it wants a feel-good thing NOW. Our minds are powerful, at least in this planet. To achieve peace, to ascend, we must shed all of these desires. What if this event is a test of my ascension abilities? We need to find infinity, strive for infinity, so we can shed all our human burdens and be happy, reach nirvana. So far there's no news about the con, but it doesn't matter. I'm 14, smack into Freud's Genital Stage, where I must call other people to finally preach this happy view.

I clearly can't be happy for long anymore. Clearly I've heard from grownups and movies that say as you grow older, joy simply grows so small, you forget what being happy is. When you're older, you do get worse. Everything starts to suck. You get less happy. My home is getting droned now. I. Hate. Myself. I. Believe. Nirvana. Is the answer. I should first kill myself to ascend, have nirvana.

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