As a working mom, the need for a reliable childcare provider was paramount, which is why we were thrilled to find a wonderful nanny who bonded beautifully with our son. Initially, to smooth my transition back to work, we decided it would be a good idea for both grandmothers to spend some time with our son alongside the nanny. This plan, however, did not unfold as expected.

My mother-in-law, although she loves her grandson dearly, seems to have a challenging relationship with our nanny. It's become apparent that she's somewhat dismissive of the nanny's expertise, often undermining her by insisting on her own methods of feeding and handling the baby. Despite her good intentions, her approach sometimes compromises the baby's safety, which is unnerving. More importantly, she is prone to taking the baby to other parts of the building without notifying the nanny, adding to the stress. Her visits are also significantly longer than expected, stretching to almost a full day.

Today, upon returning from work while my husband was away, I found our nanny visibly upset, which is entirely out of character for her. She confided in me that she finds the dynamic with my mother-in-law too distressing and it's affecting her ability to work effectively. The nanny admitted that she dreads the days my mother-in-law visits, to the point where she's considering resigning. I was utterly dismayed and assured her that I would address the issue promptly, suggesting a possible adjustment to have my mother-in-law visit only on weekends when we are more available to supervise.

Sharing this situation over the phone with my husband was tough. I emphasized the seriousness of the issue, concerned about the possibility of losing a great nanny. The thought of setting boundaries with my mother-in-law is daunting—she hasn't taken well to suggestions in the past. My husband remains optimistic about his mother adapting her behavior, but past attempts suggest otherwise. It's saddening and challenging to see someone who provides care so integral to our family's functioning this unsettled.

I also sense a disconnect with my husband, who has not witnessed these interactions firsthand, making it harder for him to grasp the severity of the situation. He often asks for specific examples of his mother's behavior, which makes me feel like he might think I’m exaggerating the issue.

If this situation were part of a reality show, I imagine the drama and tension would escalate dramatically. Cameras would capture the raw emotions and perhaps the blunt conversations that need to happen. It could either lead to a swift resolution or more likely, amplify the family strain for the audience's intrigue. How would viewers react to seeing such a personal family conflict unfold on screen? Would they take sides or propose different solutions?

Am I being unreasonable to demand that my husband talks to his mother about limiting her visits to weekends? It feels necessary, but he seems to think I'm overreacting.

Is limiting MIL's visits to weekends a good solution?

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