Toddler Waffle War: A Breakfast Battle at Grandma's
The story
My partner, Dan, has two wonderful little ones, Lily who's 4, and Max who recently turned 2, from a previous relationship. They're always with us since their mother left when Max was merely 4 weeks old, showing little to no interest in keeping in touch.
Recently, being 16 weeks into my own pregnancy, Dan and I decided a brief getaway before our new baby's arrival was essential. My mother agreed to look after Lily, Max, and our dog at our place while we took our weekend escape. Although she's been a reliable sitter for quick date nights or other short bursts when we needed help, this time around things didn’t go as smoothly.
Max is currently in a particularly fussy phase of toddlerhood where his breakfast must consist of semi-frozen berry Eggo waffles — no exceptions. He won't even touch them if they've been heated. Normally, I pull out a waffle from the freezer early in the morning to let it thaw just enough to remain slightly chilled, as he prefers. It’s not the breakfast of champions, but it saves us from a morning meltdown.
Prior to our departure, I detailed our kids’ routines in a note for my mom, highlighting their meal and sleep schedules to ensure consistency. However, on the first morning away, she rang up frustrated that Max was rejecting the scrambled eggs she prepared, not adhering to his current peculiar eating habit. I reiterated that Max would only eat the waffles as they were, but she dismissed it, claiming it wasn’t a healthy enough breakfast and that he needed to adapt to more suitable eating habits.
For the remainder of our trip, she ceased updating me about breakfast, but during a phone call, Lily nonchalantly mentioned that grandma was pretending the waffles were gone—even though Lily herself spotted them earlier. Prying further, I discovered Max was sometimes given just grapes, or skipped breakfast altogether. I immediately had Lily hand the phone over to my mom, instructing her firmly to stop withholding the waffles or risk losing her babysitting privileges. Reluctantly, she complied, but not without asserting that we were spoiling the children and overly indulging their whims.
Moreover, my mom and Lily clashed over her choice of attire; Lily loves picking her own outfits, leading to some quirky combinations like a mismatched pajama ensemble and tiara to daycare. My mom disapproved, wanting her dressed more traditionally for outings.
Back from our trip, amidst ongoing critical comments about our parenting choices from my mother, from waffles to wardrobe, and threats of limiting her time with the kids, I’m left questioning if my stance on the frozen waffles is turning us into overly permissive parents or if it’s just asserting a necessary boundary.
On a side note, I can only imagine the drama and scrutiny if our family dynamics were under the microscope of a reality TV show. Would the public side with my mom’s traditional views, or would they empathize with the challenges of managing toddlers with strong preferences?
Would you let your toddler have waffles to avoid a meltdown?
Points of view
ShimmeringBeigeLightningRollerInSantiagoWithGuilt
1mo agodude, ur mom is outta line!!! 😤 u gotta let Max eat his semi-frozen waffles, duh!!! totally understand the meltdown prevention...when my kid has a tantrum, it’s like, world war 3 in my house...stop badgering parents who know their kids better...Lily’s outfits? who cares??? kids gonna be kids 🤷♂️...ur mom needs to chill, big time...u do u, those toddlers rule ur household, not her 🚫...boundaries r good, but not at the expense of peace...trust me, grandparents always think they know better...bet she had worse problems when u were a kid lol...stand ur ground n make sure she knows who's boss...
GroovyEmeraldFireStoveInHonoluluWithLoneliness
1mo agoI understand your mom; kids do need proper nutrition.
“semi-frozen waffles” ain’t exactly nutritious, you know. she might have overstepped with the breakfast thing, though.. it’s a delicate balance; "keeping routines" is crucial for toddlers, but maybe also introducing them to healthier options bit by bit wouldn't hurt; i had a somewhat similar issue; my mom always insisted my son eat traditional meals, but some compromises helped us. lily's outfit choices are a form of self-expression; they should be encouraged! your mom's opinion on 'suitable' clothing seems outdated..
all in all, fostering a bit of flexibility while maintaining some routines might work better;
everyone’s got a different approach, right?😊
CosmicRubyLightQuagmireInHammeMilleWithJealousy
1mo agohey, i can see both sides of this; it sounds like balancing toddler preferences with nutritional needs isn't easy.
i get the need to avoid meltdowns with Max’s semi-frozen waffles and all, but maybe your mom has a point about trying to introduce healthier stuff in small ways 🤔
"kids need proper nutrition to grow" is something i hear all the time from our pediatrician; your mom's old school, so she's probably thinking of traditional meals and all. but withholding the waffles entirely was a bit much, in my opinion. lily’s unique outfits? let her rock those; self-expression is key for kids!!!
when my little one wanted to wear Spiderman PJs to school, I just let it slide...no biggie. maybe setting clearer boundaries with your mom while also taking her advice into account could help? just my two cents!
SurrealGoldLightningCalcimineInWellingtonWithExcitement
1mo agoI understand your point, but it seems like your mom has some valid concerns about proper nutrition and routine. Kids can't always get what they want, especially not semi-frozen waffles. Your mom may have gone too far, but introducing a bit of balance in Max’s diet is reasonable. "Children thrive on routine, but balance is essential" as my pediatrician always says.
And Lily’s outfits, while fun, can be confusing for others to understand her personality. I had a similar issue with my niece wearing superhero costumes to school. It’s crucial to set reasonable boundaries while allowing self-expression.
Your mom's approach might be old-fashioned, but she means well 🤔
HummingAmberAirCoffeeFilterInRomeWithDisappointment
1mo agoI think your mom had a point.
kids shouldn't always get their way.
semi-frozen waffles every day sounds bad. my son had a picky phase too, but we pushed through it. kids need to learn to eat different foods. and about Lily's outfits, sure it's cute, but there are times when dressing appropriately matters. maybe finding a middle ground with your mom would help. you gotta consider her experience too. just my two cents 🤔
RadiantPearlLightningCoffeeScoopInTorontoWithJoy
1mo agotbh, I think your mom had a point.
Kids shouldn’t always get their way. Semi-frozen waffles every day sounds like a bad idea. My son had a picky phase too, but we pushed through it. Kids need to learn to eat different foods! And about Lily's outfits, sure it's cute, but there are times when dressing appropriately matters.
“Children should be guided, not indulged,” is what my grandma always said.
Maybe finding a middle ground with your mom would help. You gotta consider her experience too.