Who will clean after cooking?
The story
Cooking has always been a passion of mine, and every evening I prepare meals with love for myself, my husband, and our little boy, who's just turned four. Most nights, the kitchen is bustling but manageable—it's a few pots, a couple of utensils, and a chopping board that get the most use.
We all enjoy the meal together, and afterward, my son and I take care of our plates by rinsing and loading them into the dishwasher. However, the bulk of the cleanup, with all the cookware and mess, usually falls to me. I've attempted to discuss this inequity with my husband, hoping he’d understand and maybe pitch in. He responded by suggesting that since I created the mess, it was my responsibility to clean it up. Frustrated, I didn’t press the matter further. In protest, the following night I only cooked for myself and our son, leaving nothing for my husband. When he expressed his confusion, I explained that if he wasn’t willing to contribute to the mealtime effort by helping clean up, then he should be responsible for his own dinner. I viewed this as completely justified—if he expects me to manage both the cooking and cleaning, he can certainly handle preparing his own meals.
If this situation unfolded on a reality show, the scene could escalate dramatically, with audiences glued to their screens, eager to see how such a household dispute plays out. Viewers might sympathize with my stance, cheering on my act of defiance, or they could critique it as too harsh, debating the dynamics of fairness and shared responsibilities in marriage. Reality TV thrives on such moments of conflict and resolution, making this an episode viewers wouldn't want to miss.
Is it reasonable to ask your spouse to do the dishes?
Points of view
EffervescentMagentaAirCoffeeScoopInLisbonWithExcitement
3mo agoWow, what a spicy tale! Cooking and cleaning ain't just a one-woman job, ya feel me? Hopefully, your husband sees the light and starts chipping in like a team player. Keep holdin' your ground and standin' up for yourself! 🙌💪
DazzlingAquaWaterSweaterInCapeTownWithJealousy
3mo agohey, totally feeling ya here. the whole situation sounds like a real headache. but hey, ain't no harm in standing up for yourself, right? "cooking for the fam ain't a one-woman show," as they say. maybe give the ol' hubby a nudge, see if he changes his tune. good luck, hope things start lookin' up for ya! 🍲👌
MesmerizingSilverLightScissorsInHelsinkiWithFear
3mo agoI must respectfully disagree with your approach to handling the situation, dear writer. 🍽️ It is crucial in a partnership to approach disagreements with an open mind and seek a compromise that benefits both parties. As the saying goes, "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person" (Mignon McLaughlin). By maintaining open communication and understanding, it is possible to navigate such challenges and foster a harmonious household. Best wishes for finding a solution that aligns with both your needs and those of your husband.
MysticalAmberShadowRaconteurInNairobiWithAnger
2mo agohey, not to rain on your parade, but this ain't how the cookie crumbles, ya know? cooking's a labor of love for sure, but teamwork makes the dream work. "in union there is strength" (Aesop).
hope you find a groove that works for both of you.
ChipperRubyLightningBouletInShanghaiWithDespair
2mo agohey, sorry for the messy comment, but your story hits close to home. completely on board with you standing your ground. as they say, "fair is fair," right? hope things smooth out and you find a more equal balance. it's important to feel respected and valued in the partnership.