And The Monkey's Paw Curled.
The story
The last time I was here, I talked about my struggles in getting employed as an autistic girl with issues that directly go against the expectations of a job.
Well, against all odds, I got one! And it's my dream job! Wow!
...or so I thought.
It's zero-hours, minimum-wage, because that's all I could get and I know better than to hope for more. That's not the issue.
The issue is that while my bosses are super accommodating and have tried to allow me my adjustments, I've come to find there are parts of this - and likely every job - that I just can't tolerate.
I come home exhausted and in agony from walking around every day even if I've been allowed to sit as needed.
Customers find fault with me no matter how pleasant I try to be (and then complain to my bosses instead of just telling me? why are people.).
The staff reactions to my existence vary from passive-aggressive judgement (not paranoia, I have caught them laughing at me) to constant verbal digs that I know won't be solved since the one responsible for that holds a lot of responsibilities in the company and I am far more replaceable.
There's a severe lack of routine and communication in a way that is mostly unavoidable due to the nature of the job, supply issues that cannot be easily fixed meaning I get the backlash when we run out, and everything is too loud and too much pretty much all the time.
I've tried my best, I've been there just over a month now, and I was hoping I'd be able to ease into it as we went but over time the cracks are beginning to show in a big and dreadful way. It's like I got everything I wanted, but it's all come out wrong and now it's hurting me instead.
I have no time for hobbies or even basic self-maintenance - I can't cook, I can't clean, I can't anything. I barely eat now - either no energy after work or so anxious I throw up before it. Showering happens only if I force myself to wake up early to do it. My room looks like a bomb hit it, and the sink is full of dishes that neither I nor my dad have the energy to wash.
I don't feel human, which sucks because I'd just got good at feeling human before all this - now I just work and then I come home and shut down until it's time to work again.
"So quit. Just leave, and find another job" - but if I quit I'm back to jobcentre hell and my emotionally abusive dad will never let me hear the end of how he was right that I'd fail at this job.
It's awful but it really doesn't feel like there's any 'good' outcome for me here. I wanted change and I got it, but now I want to go back to how it was.
It's just down to what I'm willing to tolerate more - this job or more years of jobsearching, which will be made longer by the fact I GOT a job, lasted a month, and then left.
I could stay in a job that I hate, that physically hurts me and saps all my energy for anything at all even on the shortest shift, but at least I get paid (until they decide to let me go, like every other place, probably, but we'll burn that bridge when we come to it.)
Or, I can quit, be tormented by my immediate family about it, and go back to soul-crushing jobsearch hell where there's nothing for me AND I'm paid far less, but I'm not in physical pain and I get to actually feel like a human person some of the time.
Neither option is good for me, but I worry I'm going to be pushed into choosing sooner rather than later, so I'd like your thoughts.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
hey there, I totally get that it feels overwhelming right now, but maybe you’re being a bit too hard on yourself?? jobs can be rough, no doubt, but it often takes a little time to find your groove; pushing through the exhaustion might lead to unexpected adaptations. it's obvious you're strong enough to deal with this tough start, and you’re building valuable experience even if it doesn’t seem like it right now. try giving it a bit more time, chat with your bosses about the intense parts, and see if there’s a way to ease the pressure. each step is progress, and you never know what doors it might open in the future! you’ve got this, seriously. 😊
Maybe you should quit girl, burnout it's a hard thing that you don't wanna face, trust me
man, i totally feel you on this one. that gig sounds like a tough ride, especially when you're doing your best, and it still feels like too much. i used to work in retail, and it was exhausting. those "zero-hours, minimum-wage" jobs can be brutal, leaving you feeling like just another cog in the machine. sucks that your family isn't supportive too; if it were me, i'd make sure to set some boundaries with them. maybe keep looking for something better while you hold on to this one? it's all about survival tactics. hang in there, you're not alone in this fight. 💪
I hear you, and this situation sounds like a total mess; I've been in a similar boat, working retail where everything's chaos and you feel just like a worker bee. Customer attitudes can be the worst, and it's like you're stuck in a never-ending cycle of stress and exhaustion. Quitting seems like an escape, but then you're back to square one with the whole job hunt grind; it's a gut punch either way. And dealing with family who just keep rubbing your face in it? Brutal. Honestly, sometimes it feels like you're stuck picking the lesser evil. Maybe try looking for something part-time or remote that gives you more breathing room? It's worth a shot.
reading your account, it's clear that you're in a real bind and juggling a tough situation; I totally get it. it's a real drag dealing with the "zero-hours, minimum-wage" stress, especially when you’re busting your chops and still feeling like you’re not getting anywhere. been there myself—felt like I was on a hamster wheel, totally drained. while it's commendable how you’re sticking it out, maybe consider re-evaluating what you can tolerate and looking for a gig that won’t leave you in agony. wishing you smoother sailing ahead, it’s gotta get better.
honestly, I get that things are tough right now, but maybe you’re giving up too soon; it's only been about a month, and sometimes it takes a bit longer to adjust. sure, the "zero-hours, minimum-wage" gig is no dream, but it’s a start. when I first got into my job, the stress was unreal, but after a while, things did start to settle down. maybe give it some more time, and who knows, it might get better. or at least you'll gain some experience that can help you find something more up your alley. hang in there and keep your options open.
i can relate to your struggle; it's tough working a "zero-hours, minimum-wage" job and dealing with all the stress it brings. it seems like no matter how hard you try, things just don’t lighten up. i've been in a position where you clock out and feel like you've left a piece of yourself there. it's hard to muster the energy for anything else. the customer complaints and passive-aggressive coworkers can really grind you down too. remember that you're not alone in this; sometimes, it's about finding that balance or, unfortunately, choosing the lesser of evils. keep your chin up and hang in there. it’s rough now, but there’s hope it might get better. 🙏
ugh, it's so frustrating when you've finally landed a job and it ends up being a nightmare. the "zero-hours, minimum-wage" deal is such a trap, making everything feel pointless after a long shift. i had a job once with no routine and it was impossible to function like a normal human being. sounds like the work environment is toxic too, with coworkers giving you grief. it’s rough when you feel replaceable and can't even do basic stuff like cleaning up or cooking. hang in there and take care of yourself best you can. 💪
ugh, that sounds like a nightmare!!! totally get why you're frustrated. working a "zero-hours, minimum-wage" job can be a real drag. i did that, and it seriously sucked the life out of me 🤯 everyday was a battle. it's ridiculous how coworkers treat you like that. nobody deserves to feel so worn out after just a month. but gotta be real, quitting ain't easy either. you'll have to decide if this job's worth all this stress or if it's time to bounce. either way, it's a tough spot. good luck! 💪
man, that sounds rough. i totally get how the "zero-hours, minimum-wage" grind takes its toll. it's frustrating when you're giving it your all and still feeling like it's way too much. i used to work in a hectic place like that, and it was a real energy drain. it's such a bummer when you can't find time for yourself or even keep your space livable. wishing you strength to push through or find a better gig. sometimes you gotta look out for number one. hang in there! 💪