Frankly, I feel like I'm surrounded by a bunch of lunatics, people trying to impose their way of being on others, and whose coexistence is based on what others can do to each other, resorting to something more than just a survival instinct, which they themselves understand and, in fact, disregard, even suggesting that others do things their way, all in the name of exerting that same power. Good heavens, where is this? This isn't an office, not in a million years. It's a wretched, bloody jungle, because everyone is seeking dominance at any cost. They go beyond the limits they want, at the expense of doing nothing, justifying it under the guise of the collective. It's truly a horrifying thing, and that's why I was so concerned with eliminating it from the premises, with making that system disappear completely, immediately, drastically, leaving no trace. At least that's how it is with me. In no way should it be known that I have no support for that way of life. Instead, I will be focused on rejecting it definitively until it's clear that this way of life is not for me. They, in turn, interpret this as a sign that fate is on my side, because I know how to navigate their impositions, even in the midst of crises. I was never going to let them lay a hand on me, nor make them feel that I was one of them, in their way, outside the rules. I was going to abide by them and uphold them, even if that was all it took, and personally, I wasn't going to make it public, not in any way. I was simply going to act as I saw fit, since they don't understand the rules, they don't live by them, so I have nothing to discuss with them, absolutely nothing. I'm not going to waste my breath, from every point of view, on misguided, downtrodden people.

I feel completely disappointed that I entered this place, where I can't have a remotely normal, decent, human friendship, but instead I have to put up with my friend going her own way and me going mine, at the expense of a comfort I don't know where she got it from, where she prefers a stranger who doesn't know if he follows the law, to someone who actually pays attention to it. What on earth is this girl running from? I don't understand it personally, and I don't have to, nor should the authorities defend it. Simply trying to avoid causing a disturbance—a permit, protected by law, that I'm entitled to exercise—and being told no because it's disruptive—I mean, the exercise of the law is disruptive within the grounds, and even outside their jurisdiction—living at the expense of imposing normality, going beyond the confines of the grounds—that's something I couldn't allow, and believe me, I was harassed for it no matter what. What a hell, what a girl who emerged from these walls and doesn't uphold the spirit of the law. From every point of view, what kind of pigsty am I in? What kind of place is this? What kind of place is this that's accustomed to using anything to destroy others and do it according to the rules? I'm not here to do what they want, not at all. My sense of responsibility is barely challenged by such petty squabbles. What do these people want? To create a criminal? To make me someone with a gun who starts shooting indiscriminately? That's not my idea. Now, understand those rigid, profile-based schemes and that business of "repairing" the individual, all in the name of achieving their peace. What a shameful environment. How can I be a part of this? How can I allow myself to be a part of this? In a place where social control is desperately sought in one way or another.

I'm fed up, and I can't take it anymore. I have to leave this place. I feel I must. This place is not suitable for decent people, for good people, but for invasive people who try to ensnare you, where the only goal is to hide the flaws of someone who fosters criminals in the embrace of a tyrannical incongruity. What am I doing with these people? There's nothing more shameful than seeing people trying to trap me, to put me between a rock and a hard place, to force me to help them at work, at their expense, putting me between someone who betrays the group, playing the victim, pretending I don't like them, when I'm not there to like anyone, but to do my job and maintain a positive work environment. One thing doesn't imply the other. This was the excuse my friend used; she was social, but then she wasn't, of course. That excuse served her to be social in an imposing way, well, with others, really; it never happened with me. Seeing this guy, trained to weave emotional tangles, my boss specifically, made me realize that he didn't know anything about management, contrary to what he led me to believe. It was already strange that he wrote on shop windows rather than a whiteboard, to begin with.

There were many things my boss did that I didn't see clearly, that I didn't notice. Those abusive comments, those overbearing ones, letting me into his office just like that—all in an effort to camouflage his authority, to diminish it, doesn't reflect well on any boss. It hurts that my friend has blocked me; I can't talk to her, can't say anything to her. Besides, I wouldn't know what to say, not at all. I'd desperately try to fill the void, and that's not the point. The point isn't to ruin things. We're in an environment where being friends is dangerous, where sharing things can compromise us both because we're disruptive, because we won't know how to stand up for ourselves, because we'll try to show that we're not on our own, each of us doing our own thing. Such extreme caution we have to exercise—what a shame. They don't even respect birthdays; they don't consider whether or not to celebrate them. Their way of life in that office is one of disrespect for diversity, and they resort to normalization whenever they can. You have to protect yourself however you can; it's every man for himself. And you have to live with the consequences, especially when it affects the bureaucracy. The problem lies there: not everyone can adapt, and they try to undermine those who do, putting up barriers. What kind of savages are these? There are no protocols to rely on, nothing to complain about, nothing to take refuge on except the effects of forced coexistence, effects that should never be shown. They're not right in the head, not at all. It took me a long time to realize this. They'll hide behind anything to achieve dominance, anything at all. They don't respect boundaries; they don't know about them. It's impossible for them to conceive of such a thing.

They're monsters, for God's sake, they don't know what they're doing, they live at the mercy of prejudice. Personally, I want to run away from that office; I don't want anything more to do with them. I don't know why I have a friend who has blocked me, for God's sake. What kind of friendship is that? What kind of person am I with who treats me without even making a simple effort to do things right? Well, actually, if she does, she does it well; she makes a lot of effort, she knows how to move forward on autopilot, and she always tries to make sure I have a place in her life. I don't know what else I could expect from a relationship in that kind of environment, really. It seems more logical that a friendship would develop under conditions where, by no means, for God's sake, would it be anything like what you'd find in school. What's happening is sensible, perfectly logical, and pleasing. I can't deny the facts, I just can't. How annoying! Why did I never have normal friendships? Friends who respected me and gave me that hug. Why did I get stuck with a boss who was trying to curry favor with anyone in his path? Why did I have to deal with relationships like these? Why did I get stuck in an office like this? I should be in a much better place, with organization and equally organized, pleasant relationships, where there was a supportive collective, yet I ended up in the worst possible place. It's disgusting.

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