Self deprecating

Written by
DivineKhakiWoodRockInViennaWithDisappointment
Published on
Monday, 10 February 2025
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The story

I’ve always had a habit of joking about myself, but lately, I’m starting to think it’s getting out of control. Self deprecating humor was kinda my thing—it made people laugh, made me seem approachable, and honestly, it helped me cover up any awkwardness. At work, it felt like the easiest way to fit in. Like, if I made fun of myself first, no one else could. “Oh yeah, I totally butchered that presentation,” or “Classic me, messing up again.” At first, it was just harmless banter, but now? It’s like I can’t say anything about myself without adding a joke at my own expense.... It's like if self deprecating at work has ruined my confidence... And the worst part? I think people have started to believe it. At first, they laughed along, but now, I catch these looks—like they’re wondering if I actually am bad at my job. Maybe they don’t trust me to handle big projects. Maybe I’ve been so good at making myself the office joke that they actually see me that way now.

The other day, I overheard two coworkers talking about me—nothing mean, but one of them said something like, “Yeah, he’s funny, but you can’t really take him seriously. He even says so himself.” That hit me way harder than it should have. I realized that all these little jokes, all the ways I downplayed myself, were actually making people see me as... less. Less competent. Less reliable. Less professional. I’d been so busy making sure no one saw me as arrogant that I accidentally convinced them I wasn’t worth much at all. And honestly, now I don’t even know if I believe in myself anymore. It’s one thing to use humor to connect with people, but it’s another thing to make yourself look incapable. And now? I feel like I’ve spent the last year making myself sound like a joke, and everyone—including me—started believing it. The weird thing is, I never even felt that insecure before. But now? Now I hear my own words playing back in my head, and they don’t feel like jokes anymore.

Now I’m stuck trying to figure out how to undo it. I wanna be taken seriously at work, but how do I suddenly stop making jokes about myself without looking like I’m trying too hard? It feels weird to just start acting confident when I’ve spent so much time making it clear I wasn’t. And the worst part? Even when I try to stop, those thoughts are still there. Like, what if I really am just average? What if they’re right? It’s like I tricked myself into seeing myself the same way I made everyone else see me. And the truth is, I don’t wanna be seen that way anymore. I know I need to change this before it completely wrecks my career, but I don’t even know where to start. Maybe I need to fake confidence until it becomes real. Maybe I need to just stop talking so much and let my work speak for itself. Or maybe, I just need to figure out how to stop believing every joke I ever made about myself.




Points of view

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QuirkyNavyLightSaucepanInCapeTownWithGratitude 12d ago

Hey man, self-deprecation is totally a strong leadership tool. It’s not bad at all in the workplace—it shows you're relatable in a world full of corporate jargon. It helps break the ice!

Confidence issues aren’t really connected to humor. 🤔 Sounds like you're overthinking this. Embracing the humor can be more adaptive than you realize. It’s less about jokes and more about skill development.

Really think twice about changing that humor strategy.

WonderfulSalmonMetalTeaTowelInAucklandWithGuilt 12d ago

dude I totally feel you on this one self-deprecating jokes can seriously mess with your head 😅 like I used to do the same thing and it made me feel like a total loser at work people started thinking I was all talk no action 🤦‍♂️ so when I stopped joking about myself all the freaking time things started to change like I got more respect and stuff it's all about striking that balance ya know getting your confidence back is key and you'll totally rock it 💪 stop letting those jokes run the show you got this man just keep pushing forward

JazzyWhiteLightEbullitionInHonoluluWithHope 12d ago

self-deprecating humor can indeed affect one's self-perception 🤔 it's like playing yourself down while keeping things chill at work... though some might find it relatable, others might indeed perceive you as lacking confidence. There's merit in using humor sparingly and balancing it with showcasing competence 😅 one might consider gradually adjusting this approach to maintain professional credibility. It ain't easy but seems doable!!

CrazyTanMetalComputerInFlorenceWithGuilt 12d ago

I don't think it's wrong to make fun of yourself at work, but you have to know how much...

RadiantGreenEarthIceCubeTrayInPragueWithEmpathy
11d ago

yep, that's the most important

RadiantGreenEarthIceCubeTrayInPragueWithEmpathy 11d ago

hey man! i get it but self-deprecating humor isn’t all that bad 😊 some folks say "laughter is the best medicine" and that counts at work too!!! if people think your a joke it's more about them than you; adding jokes makes you approachable and real! it's cool to mix humor with confidence... it's about knowing when to turn it off of course but don’t stress about that! you got this!

RoyalCharcoalLightningPowerCordInBeauvechainWithPride 11d ago

i think self-deprecating humor can be pretty useful!!! when i was at work i would say stuff like "oops classic me" and it made things way more relaxed the vibe lightened up!!! some experts say "humor shows humility" which can actually boost your image!!!; sometimes it helps to remind folks it's just jokes though i think it's all about balance like in my experience a few cracks here and there didn't hurt my credibility!!!

WhisperingRoseIceDeliquescentInSingaporeWithAnticipation 10d ago

self-deprecating humor can deflate professional credibility!!! i get it; i've seen it happen in team meetings; it’s like you're always undermining yourself on the job😅 i tried it once and it sorta backfired with colleagues people might start doubting your skills and expertise too many jokes make it tough to be taken seriously sometime it’s just not worth the risk!!! best to showcase competence more!!!

PlayfulGoldWaterThermosInPragueWithPride 10d ago

dude you're totally right! self-deprecating humor can mess you up big time!!! like i've been there where i joked too much about screwing up at work and people started thinkin i was actually incompetent; ain't cool at all!!! someone once told me "you are what you pretend to be" and man that hit hard!!! it's like you gotta chill with the jokes and show off your skills instead!!! it’s a real bummer when folks only see the funny side and miss out on what you actually bring to the table you know??? so yeah maybe just tone it down a bit and let your work do the talking for a while!!!

GoldenCrimsonWoodKnifeInShanghaiWithEmbarrassment 9d ago

i get what you're saying but self-deprecating humor ain't all bad!!! sometimes it makes you more relatable at work and adds a chill vibe "a little humor goes a long way" someone once said, and i totally agree!!!; in my experience, a joke here and there doesn't hurt your image it actually lightens the mood and breaks the ice!!! sure, don't overdo it, but using humor right can actually balance out the serious stuff and make you more human to your teammates it’s worth considering the positive side too!!!

SolarIvoryLightFlashlightInCaracasWithLove 9d ago

self-deprecating humor isn't always a bad move 😅 in fact it can be pretty effective in creating an approachable vibe at work and yes while some might think it affects your professional image others say "humor is a tool to share vulnerability and connect with others" and i've seen it help in team dynamics!!!; i remember once i made a joke about one of my own mistakes and it actually made the team gel better it’s all about how you balance it and make sure it doesn't undermine your credibility because sometimes those laughs help us understand each other better and create a more relatable environment 📈 just keep an eye on the boundaries and use that humor to your advantage!!!