We needed to get organized in the company.

Survival is paramount, especially in a company where the "company" aspect is merely a facade to mask the shady dealings that are brewing inside. They prioritize survival above all else. The authorities intend to treat it like a private home, managing it according to family power transfers, but this already reveals their incompetence. The authorities are blind, making decisions based solely on eliminating problems, without considering the consequences. No one there bothered to protect me or my friend, not in any way, as everyone was focused on clinging to authority and upholding the hegemony of their respective groups for their own protection. No one believed that someone would be capable of betraying my group, of orchestrating my departure, and of securing a position of authority—a position that was also my friend, a leader among the others, even though not within the bureaucracy. This doesn't limit her actions, which, in fact, don't consist of giving me orders, since it's a team effort, but rather of acting openly in front of everyone. She counts on me, and the others know that I can operate independently, something that would seem insane to others if they weren't part of a group. However, every group has its strengths, and I'm someone who likes to improve in every situation.

My work group thought I knew everything about tax management, but they didn't count on me being swayed, on knowing how to use their questions to my advantage, on realizing that any trust I placed in them was simply naive, because there was never any such trust. They assumed so, not realizing that everything I said was entirely in my favor, and I was exposing them in their eagerness to go beyond what was necessary at work. They are people who don't respect clear company boundaries, whose role is purely political even in the performance of their duties, with a desperate desire to survive, at the cost of nothing but silence. With my friend and me, that wasn't the case. In fact, after a conflict, I spoke of her needing to vent, but they took it as if it were my doing, when in reality it wasn't. Throughout the whole process, they thrived on their group deficiencies, on achieving anything that would benefit them, on the idea that I couldn't say anything and that they could control the discourse, but along the way, that dynamic began to crumble. They tried to steer things this way and that, without success, creating such a mess that they reached a point where they had no choice but to resort to any excuse to create a bitter, poorly crafted, desperate image of me. They were already in a state of flux, not really knowing what was happening; only their fears remained. To the point that, in an attempt to prevent them at all costs, they went so far as to provide the very thing that would give them grounds for denunciation: preventing me from going to the company because they weren't going there, not for work-related reasons, even though I could go.

It was very easy to crush them. That wasn't my objective per se, because there's always the possibility of surrender, but they can fight to the end. After all, it's the only thing they have left after failing, to find some solace in the attention of others. Ultimately, what they seek is an absolute loss of power, a loss that arbitrariness has wrought upon them—that's the protocol. My friend is extremely happy, not for any other reason than that she's finally managed to make my boss, a chauvinist disguised as a constant barrage of stress and jokes, completely contrary to his usual persona, fawn over her. He can't say a word about her, not even the slightest bit. She feels fortunate to offer him any support, especially in those situations where a little help is always welcome. But in her case, it means dealing with someone who desperately asks why on earth she's being included in something she hasn't agreed to in any way—something that did happen with me, of course, under justification and behind other people's backs. We're told we have a friendly relationship, not a friendship, but in practice, it amounts to the same thing. She leads by putting herself out there in front of the group, making those comments behind closed doors, in order to establish ourselves. Our group allows us the advantage—a delightful one we always crave—of exercising our individuality as we wish. After all, we fulfill our job duties completely, leaving any potential mistakes and other issues to the bosses, who, due to stress and the need to prevent conflicts through desperately given instructions, have to put up with it. In the office, we feel completely free to be ourselves and to have the relationships we want, adapting our approach to the environment.

It's about doing our own thing, something special, something meaningful, something that allows us to feel a dignified intimacy, but that transcends circumstances and situations. We're not here for that; we're tired of the staged events, which in themselves lead us to feel completely insecure around others. Feeling different, and others perceiving us that way, has meant that these situations serve as mere bait for some kind of gain, some abuse of the pleasures we can offer to those around us, but don't want to. This has been one of my boss's obsessions with both me and her, because he couldn't see things one way and believed they couldn't be any other, resulting in constant sabotage. She's the worst person, attached to his secretary, who thought she had all the tools in the emotional game, but that wasn't true. My boss had someone who knew absolutely nothing about emotions, other than how to manipulate in a completely obvious way that convinced no one, and on top of that, he was obsessed with seeing things done quickly so he could keep moving forward. Their serious problem is that they didn't consider their position, what they were facing, and the experience of everything ending so quickly, without much discernment of the consequences, precisely because of the limitations of the company itself. This could easily lead one or the other to make accusations against the other.

My friend and I thrive on a pleasant, enjoyable, and timely yet coordinated connection, which provides the other essential ingredients. We recognize that it arises within an environment not designed for this kind of interaction, but we embrace it and make something of it, which is why each encounter is simply special. Their current blockages, in effect, are ways of reinforcing the idea that our changes are made by ourselves, without any interference from either of us in the other's life. This allows for that space, that openness to our feelings, and it has certainly done us good. To the point where, albeit somewhat dilapidatedly, we can say that each of us is more prudent with the others in our communication, knows our place, our limits, and is no longer disruptive. We emerged within the social order, and that's precisely why we have a place there. The seed for it was already there, thus conveying to the surroundings that it was worthwhile. That's when we stopped trying to create divisions among ourselves, which only made our lives more stressful, more closed off, and less open, giving the impression that we would eventually leave the company. Now, it's precisely this collaborative spirit within the environment that allows both them and us to feel connected. Each of us, my friend and I, contributes from wherever we can, with whomever we can, and however we can, to those who are strictly within the work sphere. It's clear who we are, and that's why we all breathe, because everyone respects each other's boundaries.

As for the little group of thugs I was talking about, the issue was that everyone was waiting for that moment when everyone would leave them, even me, who, according to them, was the best treated of the group.

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