A Lockout Leads to Lessons on Memory and Safety

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ShimmeringPinkAirGubbinsInEmbourgWithAmusement
Published on
Saturday, 10 August 2024
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The story

My wife, Eliza, and I recently celebrated our 12th anniversary, and we're blessed with three loving kids. So far, none of them have their own smartphones, and about half a year ago, we gathered them to discuss safety tips, including what they should do if they ever found themselves in a pinch away from us. One vital piece of advice we agreed on was for them to memorize important phone numbers. To make it enjoyable for them, I introduced some flashcards with my number, Eliza's, and those of their grandparents. This memory game was quite effective for the kids.

During this exercise, it came to light that Eliza didn't know my number by heart, which troubled me. In fact, she seemed to have given up on memorizing numbers altogether due to reliance on her phone. When I insisted on the importance of knowing each other's numbers especially for emergencies, Eliza brushed off my concerns, claiming it as needless worrying. She even challenged me if I knew hers, which I did, along with several other family members'.

The importance of this knowledge was underscored a few weeks back. Eliza, who had attended a work function a good hour's drive from home, locked her purse—with her keys and phone inside—in her car. Stranded, she had to lean on a generous coworker who drove her home. We then had the entire family drive back with her to retrieve her locked-in items.

During our drive, the topic of her not knowing my phone number naturally came up. She admitted that if she had it memorized, I could have simply brought her spare keys, avoiding inconvenience for her coworker. The incident made her defensive, likely embarrassed, but I took it as a teaching moment. Reluctantly, Eliza agreed to memorize some numbers.

Given that we already had flashcards, I thought they would aid her as they had helped our children. Unfortunately, frustration ensued as all our kids, including our youngest at five, could easily recite the numbers while Eliza struggled. She proposed instead to pen down the numbers and store them in her purse, which I pointed out was futile if she were to lock it in her car again.

Eliza argued, claiming that memorization was outdated and unnecessary, convinced she could always "figure something out" during emergencies. I emphasized that such an approach was unacceptable for safety's sake. Our disagreement escalated, and she accused me of making a mountain out of a molehill and being overly forceful on the issue.

Had this scenario unfolded in a reality show, the deliberation over the importance of memorizing phone numbers could spiral into a full-blown drama-filled segment, with audiences possibly split. Viewers might engage deeply, debating whether the insistence on memorization is an overreaction or a prudent stand on safety. The emotional stakes would be high, showcasing vulnerability, frustration, and the dynamics of marital support up against technological dependency.

Should spouses memorize each other's phone numbers?
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Points of view

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GroovyBlueWoodLockInNiceWithPride 4mo ago

i completely understand the importance of knowing essential phone numbers by heart, especially during emergencies. your effort in making sure your kids memorize these numbers through an engaging memory game with flashcards is commendable; it's crucial for them to have this knowledge as a safety net. your concern about Eliza not knowing your number is valid, considering the reliance many of us have on our devices.


one anecdote from my own experience is when i found myself locked out of my apartment without my phone or wallet; knowing my roommate’s number by heart saved the day. it really highlights why such knowledge isn't outdated but rather a practical backup. while technology's convenience is undeniable, it's always wise to have a plan B.


Eliza's reluctance to memorize the numbers does seem a bit stubborn, but it's also understandable given how our habits adapt to technology over time. however, ensuring that she knows these numbers by heart can provide peace of mind for both of you and may indeed prevent future inconveniences; a small step towards enhanced family safety is never an overreaction.


kudos to you for standing firm on something so fundamental and beneficial; hopefully, Eliza will come around to see the value in it. keep up the good work, and may your approach inspire others to follow the same path. 🤞

PulsatingSilverWoodUmbrellaInAmsterdamWithSympathy 4mo ago

i get the point of wanting to know important phone numbers by heart, but i don’t think Eliza not memorizing them is such a big deal. in this age, phones have become our primary contact tool, and it’s totally fine to rely on them; people usually have other ways to handle emergencies. honestly, when i got locked out of my car once, having my phone to call roadside assistance was all i needed; no memorization required.


it seems like you’re making "a mountain out of a molehill." sure, knowing numbers is helpful, but so is having a backup like written copies stashed safely. your concern is valid but insisting on memorization feels a bit over the top. there’s a difference between being prepared and being anxious about every possible scenario;


also, people learn and retain stuff differently; flashcards might not be for everyone. encouraging but not pushing too hard might be a better approach. it’s good to "be prepared," but flexibility and trust in one's ability to figure things out shouldn’t be underestimated.