My wife, Eliza, and I recently celebrated our 12th anniversary, and we're blessed with three loving kids. So far, none of them have their own smartphones, and about half a year ago, we gathered them to discuss safety tips, including what they should do if they ever found themselves in a pinch away from us. One vital piece of advice we agreed on was for them to memorize important phone numbers. To make it enjoyable for them, I introduced some flashcards with my number, Eliza's, and those of their grandparents. This memory game was quite effective for the kids.

During this exercise, it came to light that Eliza didn't know my number by heart, which troubled me. In fact, she seemed to have given up on memorizing numbers altogether due to reliance on her phone. When I insisted on the importance of knowing each other's numbers especially for emergencies, Eliza brushed off my concerns, claiming it as needless worrying. She even challenged me if I knew hers, which I did, along with several other family members'.

The importance of this knowledge was underscored a few weeks back. Eliza, who had attended a work function a good hour's drive from home, locked her purse—with her keys and phone inside—in her car. Stranded, she had to lean on a generous coworker who drove her home. We then had the entire family drive back with her to retrieve her locked-in items.

During our drive, the topic of her not knowing my phone number naturally came up. She admitted that if she had it memorized, I could have simply brought her spare keys, avoiding inconvenience for her coworker. The incident made her defensive, likely embarrassed, but I took it as a teaching moment. Reluctantly, Eliza agreed to memorize some numbers.

Given that we already had flashcards, I thought they would aid her as they had helped our children. Unfortunately, frustration ensued as all our kids, including our youngest at five, could easily recite the numbers while Eliza struggled. She proposed instead to pen down the numbers and store them in her purse, which I pointed out was futile if she were to lock it in her car again.

Eliza argued, claiming that memorization was outdated and unnecessary, convinced she could always "figure something out" during emergencies. I emphasized that such an approach was unacceptable for safety's sake. Our disagreement escalated, and she accused me of making a mountain out of a molehill and being overly forceful on the issue.

Had this scenario unfolded in a reality show, the deliberation over the importance of memorizing phone numbers could spiral into a full-blown drama-filled segment, with audiences possibly split. Viewers might engage deeply, debating whether the insistence on memorization is an overreaction or a prudent stand on safety. The emotional stakes would be high, showcasing vulnerability, frustration, and the dynamics of marital support up against technological dependency.

Should spouses memorize each other's phone numbers?