i don't trust my boyfriend
The story
so, I'm 21 and I've been dating this guy for a few months, but honestly, I just can't shake this feeling that something's off with him. like, every time I try to reach out or make plans, he's always busy or he's "gone out" without really saying where he's gonna be or who he's hanging with. I mean, sure, I'm all for having our own lives and all, but it's kinda weird when someone never really shares any details or at least checks in once in a while, right? it gets even sketchier when I remember that my boyfriend – let's call him "jay" – has a bit of a reputation. it's no secret that jay's cheated on his past girlfriends, and man, that little fact is just gnawing away at me. it’s like I can’t ever fully relax or trust him, 'cause there's this little voice in the back of my mind saying, "hey girl, remember about his past, don’t get too comfy!"
now, I don't wanna be that paranoid girlfriend who's always snooping around, but sometimes his behavior just makes my mind spiral into the worst-case scenario. do any of you relate to that, where you overthink every little thing because there's no real explanation coming your way? like, last Saturday, he said he had some "family stuff" to attend to; fair enough, that checks out, right? but when I casually asked him about it on Sunday, he got all evasive, and let me tell you, that raised my suspicion antennas up to max level. I did a quickyyy and innocent snoop through his Facebook once, and he was tagged in a photo from a party that same night. so, I thought, "hmmm, those family gatherings really have changed lately, huh?" it's these little things that just don’t add up and pile onto my doubts, making me constantly question what’s really going on. am I just being a bit of a detective 'cause of his history, or is there actual merit in my worries?
look, I've tried to have honest conversations with him, you know, those serious chats girlfriends have when they wanna clear the air and set things straight. he just always seems to brush me off with a quick laugh or a "babe, you're overthinking it" line, which honestly, sometimes makes me wonder if I really am overreacting or if I'm onto something. 🤔 it's super frustrating, 'cause the more he's elusive, the more I doubt everything. anyone else been here or have any advice? I don’t wanna feel like this anymore, but I also don’t wanna be in for a nasty surprise later on. I know trust is key in any relationship, but how do you build that if the other person is as vague as a foggy morning? like, is it too much to ask for him to just be a bit more open? I tell myself maybe it’s just how he is, but deep down, I feel it’s causing a rift and it’s gonna lead to a bigger mess if we don’t address it. spare a thought, folks, it ain't easy having these doubts all the time;