i want to break up with my boyfriend but i'm scared i'll regret it
The story
I have no idea what to do. Like, I swear, my brain has been looping this same question over and over for weeks, and I still don’t have an answer. Do I break up with him? Or do I stay? I keep going back and forth. One minute I feel so sure that I need to end it, that I can’t do this anymore, that I’m just not happy. But then the second I actually think about saying the words out loud, I freak out. What if I regret it? What if this is a huge mistake? What if I let go of something that I’ll never find again? I feel like no matter what I do, I’m gonna end up hurting—either I stay in a relationship that doesn’t feel right anymore, or I leave and then spend months wondering if I made the worst decision of my life. And yeah, okay, maybe I’m being dramatic, but it feels dramatic. It feels like my whole world is balancing on this one choice and no matter which way I go, I’m gonna mess something up.
It’s not like he’s a bad boyfriend. He’s actually really sweet. He tells me he loves me, he texts me good morning and good night, he’s never done anything to hurt me. So why do I feel this way? Why do I feel like something is missing? I keep thinking that maybe I just got too used to him, that maybe I’m just bored, and that’s a me problem, not a him problem. But at the same time, shouldn’t I be excited to be with my boyfriend? Shouldn’t I want to text him, to spend time with him, to tell him things? Lately, I just… don’t. I see his name pop up on my phone and instead of getting happy, I feel tired. And I hate that. Because he doesn’t deserve that. He doesn’t deserve to be with someone who isn’t fully into it. But then I think about actually telling him, about actually breaking up, and it hurts. Like, I can already imagine his face, the way he’ll look at me, like I just shattered his whole world. And the idea of being the reason he’s sad? The reason he’s heartbroken? I don’t think I can handle that.
And then there’s the whole what if I never find someone else? part. I mean, sure, I’m only 15, I know that logically there are gonna be other people in my life. But what if no one else ever treats me as good as he does? What if I’m just being selfish and expecting some unrealistic movie kind of love that doesn’t even exist? What if I leave and then realize I just ruined something that could have lasted forever? And then I think about being single and it terrifies me. Not just the being alone part, but the whole starting over part. The thought of having to meet someone new, go through all the awkward first conversations, figuring out if we even like each other, getting used to a whole different person’s way of texting, of talking, of being… it sounds exhausting. And at least with my boyfriend, I know him. I know how he is, I know how to be around him, I know he loves me. And maybe that’s enough. Maybe I don’t need butterflies or whatever, maybe I just need to appreciate what I have. But what if I’m just forcing myself to stay because I’m scared of leaving? And if that’s the case, isn’t that kinda worse?
I wish someone could just tell me what to do. I wish I could fast forward to a year from now and see if I’m happier if I break up with him or if I’ll just be sitting there, crying over what I lost. But I don’t get to know that. I just have to decide. And I don’t think I can. I don’t think I’m ready. But how long can I keep pretending everything’s fine when it’s not?
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Points of view
omg, totally get where you're coming from!!! 😩 relationships are like, soooo complicated... i mean, feelings ain't always crystal clear, right? 🤷♀️ it's tough deciding if a relational dynamic is thriving or stagnating. totally normal to feel anxious about potentiality; gotta evaluate affectivity!!! 😬 maybe a lil' introspection could help? it’s okay to have these dilemmas... just be true to yourself!!! no pressure, take your time 😊
wow, relate to this so much!!!! 😅 emotional oscillations in relationships are pretty common, right? personally, i've been there, constantly vacillating, unsure whether to maintain or dissolve the relational construct. it's all about evaluating emotional resonance and ensuring mutual contentment. sometimes, i overthink instead of trusting my gut too!!!! finding clarity is essential. just remember, you're not alone in this complexity!!!
man, i totally get it, but seriously, overthinking much??? 🤔 relationships ain't rocket science; you're just making it hella complicated. if you ain't feeling it, maybe it's time to bail; life's too short for "what ifs" and regrets. remember, "you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take;" sounds like you're stuck in a loop. anyway, you gotta trust your instincts and stop freaking out, dude! there's always more fish in the sea, so chill and just see where life takes you.✌️
I get exactly what you mean and it sucks. I've struggled with the same question for the past year and I also wish someone could just tell me. Unfortunately I've learned to pretend pretty well. Also I told my boyfriend that I'm not exactly happy but I don't wanna break up with him because I'd be breaking my promise of staying together forever. And I'm pretty much the one person that he can go to for anything and I just can't be the one to hurt him. But he knows I cry and I'm not always happy but it's also not a huge part of our relationship. I've learned to cry it out when it feels too suffocating and then focus on my life and goals. I don't want to break up with him for the sake of meeting someone new (which honestly sounds scary) but it's more of not being happy. I feel like I deserve the kind of love that's not so difficult but I don't even know if that kind of love exists in reality. I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you but I hope you can get through this for the better. I would suggest try talking to your bf and make a pros and cons list. Also journaling helps because you want to get to know yourself too find out what you really want out of your life and if it includes him or not.
hey, totally get it, but maybe you're overthinking a bit, yeah? 🤔 you mentioned this whole "being dramatic" thing, but it seems more like you're stuck in your head. everybody feels a lil' unsure sometimes, ya know? seems like you're focusing too much on the negatives; like they say, "the grass isn't always greener on the other side"—maybe there's stuff you're missing cuz you're too deep in it. you gotta weigh your pros and cons more, like, objectively. sometimes you gotta step back and ask if it's really just you or the situation, right?