I’m 29, I’m a woman, and yeah I’m married but most days it feels like I’m living with a ghost who pays bills and leaves socks near the bed. My husband works all the freaking time. Like ALL the time. He leaves early, comes home late, eats like he’s in a race, then opens his laptop or stares at his stupid phone. I get it, jobs are hard, money matters, blah blah, I’m not dumb. I know he’s not out partying or cheating or whatever dramatic movie crap. He’s working. But still, I feel alone in my own relationship and it’s making me feel like crap. Is that needy? I don’t even know anymore.

Sunday is supposed to be “our day” but lol no. I basically see him on Sunday and even then he works a few hours from home. He says it’s “just catching up” but it eats half the day, then the other half he’s tired and scrolling emails. Last Sunday I made pancakes because I thought maybe we could have a cute morning, like normal couples do. He took two bites, said “thanks babe,” then answered a work call in the hallway for 35 minutes. I sat there with cold pancakes like some sad idiot. I wanted to throw the plate, not gonna lie. But also I know he’s stressed and I know he’s doing this for us, so I feel bad being mad. That’s the worst part, I’m angry but also guilty, like my feelings are being annoying on purpose.

I don’t want a perfect husband who brings flowers and writes poems, ew honestly. I just want him to look at me without checking if his phone buzzed. I want one damn dinner where he’s actually there. I’ve told him this before and he says he knows, he’ll try, work is crazy right now. But “right now” has been like forever. Am I supposed to just wait until life magically gets less busy? Because I’m scared one day I’ll stop caring and then it’ll be too late. I love him, I really do, and I don’t think he’s a bad guy. I just think he forgot I’m here. Has anyone else been married but felt single as hell?

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