i'm bisexual
The story
Last weekend, I told Mark while we were unpacking takeout at the kitchen counter. I said i'm bisexual, then stared at a leaking soy sauce packet like it had asked me to defend a thesis. We have been together for six years, and I had spent months worrying that saying it aloud would make him question all of that. He blinked, handed me a napkin, and said, "Okay. Do you want the last dumpling?" His next question was whether I wanted him to do anything differently. I said no, I just wanted him to know me correctly. That quiet response made telling our families and friends seem manageable. I was way too optimistic, apparently.
At my mother's dinner, my brother immediately asked, "Does this mean Mark needs to worry now??" My aunt went in the opposite direction and said, "But you chose a man, so what difference does it make?" Mom cut the pie and changed the subject to her new dishwasher. My dad texted me a purple heart later 💜, but he didnt say anything while everyone was discussing my loyalty over dessert. Apparently my identity is either a hazard sign or an administrative note?? Great!! If it matters, people think it threatens my relationship. If it does not threaten my relationship, they think it should remain unmentioned.
The friend group chat was not much better. One friend asked whether I wanted a hall pass, and another requested a list of women I had dated. When I said I had not dated a woman, she added a thumbs-up reaction and wrote, "So how do you know?" 👍 I muted the chat before I said something mean. A coworker also noticed the small bi pin on my tote and asked whether Mark knew about it. The question was delivered with the careful voice people use when they think they found evidence. Mark is supportive, but even he later asked whether something was missing between us because my brother's comment got in his head. I answered him, of course. Still, it is alot to prove that I love Mark while also proving that my identity is real.
I am not asking anyone to inspect my dating history or applaud me. I would just like my family to accept that being attracted to more than one gender does not cancel the relationship I actually chose, and choosing Mark does not erase part of me. At least Mark has started answering nosy questions himself, which helps 🙂. Dad also said he will speak up if dinner turns into another public hearing. Those are small things, but I will take them. I can answer sincere questions. I cannot keep presenting evidence for both my sexuality and my fidelity every time somebody gets curious!! How would you make people hear "i'm bisexual" without having to prove you are loyal or provide a dating résumé??
